please can you give me your several best tips for coping better with
morning routine getting people ready and out the door with young children or preschoolers,
and after childcare/school till bedtime to go smoother
and days they are home
to prevent fights with young children are there some situations and rules you can tell me about please
and pacing ourselves preventing overload on ourselves.
do you find children fight less if they have some special toys to play with alone in their bedroom rather than a couple of children or more playing in a playroom.
How do you manage to get breaks if you are tired or lower standards or expectations so you get breaks or have easier days
do you give choices for breakfast when there are a few children or do you have ready made easy things eg toast, cereal, and only some days eg weekends when you might have more time would you add eggs or anything else?
what rules do you have for your children for play, or meal times or in general, to lower the stress on you
one child talk at a time
talk in nice voices
come quickly when mummy or daddy calls you( though we try to give warning that we will call them to come)
say mummy then wait for me to say yes before talking
possibly no talking at meal times if they are just going to whinge and fight
talk dont push eg say, please dont walk in front of me, dont just push your sibling,
do you use the two time rule of if you tell a child something or you say no twice then the third time you will give a consequence so children know and learn that they cant wear you down that they have to listen and they cant keep asking the same thing over and over?
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16-05-2015 16:31 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
please help re tips & rules re play, meals, morning, evening to be smoother. thnks.
16-05-2015 17:02 #2
For getting out the door quickly in the mornings do everything the night before, pack lunches (store in fridge), have school bags at the door with their school hats on top etc
I meal plan and cook ahead so at least a couple of nights I can just pull something out of the freezer ready to go (so a curry, a lasagne etc). One night a week we will buy Thai or similiar.
I get up early every morning before anyone else and have a peaceful coffee, read the news etc
On work days/school days breakfast for the kids is pretty basic, usually porridge and fruit or something. On weekends we have pancakes though, croissants, bacon and eggs or we have breakie out somewhere nice.
Hope that helps
16-05-2015 17:15 #3
For fighting, sharing etc between siblings.
I know I'm probably not going to explain this to do it justice but if you look for Janet Lansbury who writes on RIE parenting (i.e. Magda Gerber) she is a mine of information.
- I don't make my kids share. They ask for a turn after the other is finished with the toy. There is no expectation that someone have to give up what they are playing with as soon as someone else expresses an interest. I have spent time coaching them. If one of then complains I say ` have you asked for a turn' `x can I have a turn when you are done' `yep'. It really works.
- I try not to interfere when they fight, I will sportscast i.e. `x really wants a turn and is saying she feels angry', I don't let them physically hurt each other, I will stay nearby and remind them not to use their hands and only use their words.
- If I hear frustration building I will remind them `you sound like you are getting frustrated, is it time to go and do something else'
Other things you mentioned...
- Yes, one person at a time, you wait until there is a pause in the conversation. This is important to me as I feel overwhelmed when I have multiple people talking at me. I just say `x is talking, please wait until she is finished'.
- we have conversations at meal times, I can't imagine sitting in silence, we all eat as a family and talk together.
- no choice at breakfast, they pretty much have the same thing every day, porridge! I'm not a restaurant. on a morning we don't have to be anywhere I will make pancakes or similar.
- I pretty much use the 1 minute warning for everything `one minute till shower', `one minute till dinner'.
But seriously, read RIE literature, it is wonderful
16-05-2015 20:06 #4
Mornings - work/daycare- mornings we are out the door 6.10am. Everything is packed the night before and clothes ready. Kids have brekky at daycare (usually porridge that I make in the morning) and I eat at my desk.
Work/kindy mornings - we don't have to leave till 8.15am but I keep the same wake up time. it's still porridge for brekky and I fit in some housework. No options for brekky as we follow a pattern. Porridge during the week and eggs on sat with pancakes on Sunday.
Work/daycare afternoons- home 5pm ish. Kids eat dinner straight away (premade, defrosted food) and I wash lunch boxes and prep for next day. Bath at 6pm and bed 6.45/7pm.
Kindy/work afternoons- home by 3pm. Kids have a small snack then play as I do some housework. Same dinner/bath/bed routine.
Pacing ourselves- I plan only one activity per weekend and one after school during the week. It's usually a play date on Thursday arvo and on sat or sun morning we do something else. Today we went to a bday party so tomorrow is a home morning.
Fighting and toys- the kids have their own special toys they never have to share as it's theirs exclusively. The rest they take turns. I use a sand hourglass to help them with sharing. Mostly my kids play well. I have rarely interfered in their arguments unless it gets violent.
Breaks when tired- I schedule in 2x nights and 2x afternoons a week with no housework allowed. I'm currently pregnant again so always tired. I find that by doing a load of laundry every day and breaking up my housework into smaller jobs it's a bit easier. Plus I batch cook in my slow cooker for most of my meals. I've got chilli con carne in there now for tues night's dinner. If completely shattered we eat baked beans on toast or scrambled eggs on toast.
Brekky choices- no choices. I make and they eat. Exception on toast days where they can prefer Vegemite/PB/avocado.
Rules for playtime- inside voices when inside. Fighting over toys leads to the toy being confiscated. Toys/activities put away before a new one can start. I try and keep playtime as rule free as possible. My kids tho are pretty happy to play nicely.
Rules for meals- we chat a lot as a family. I like dinner table conversations. The only rule is that everything must be tried for at least 5 bites. And I don't do special orders. I make, everyone eats, no complaints.
We do have that policy where I will only ask 3 times for the kids to do whatever. Then it's consequence time.
16-05-2015 20:21 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
Great thread!! Borrowing some of these great tips
16-05-2015 20:35 #6
please help re tips & rules re play, meals, morning, evening to be smoother....
We have 4 children and seem to be always busy.
School mornings is toast or cereal sometimes scrambled eggs.
I currently have 2 in primary who do homework. I ask them once every afternoon to do their homework but it is their responsibility and they can suffer the consequences if it is incomplete on a Friday. The only exception is reading which we do every night.
School nights I try and have dinner and bath done by 6.30 and start the reading with the youngest first. 2 books each for the youngest 2 and a chapter each for the big 2. They can all have a reading lamp on until 8.30, later for the biggest one if she wishes but she doesn't need much sleep to function.
Dinners are simple and if I can prep or cook some during the day I will. I always ran the kitchen before bed.
Like another has said I don't break up arguments between the children. I read something once about kids learning to argue and resolve situations themselves which really made sense to me.
We ALWAYS talk nicely to other people, no exceptions as I am a big believer in it's how it's said not what is said.
I'm trying very hard to instill and foster friendships between the children and that we are all more important to each other than any other relationship.
We always eat dinner at the table together with no electronics and chat about our days. I ask all the children what their favourite and least favourite parts of their day were.
There is 1 dinner cooked and only fruit after dinner.
Last edited by sweetpeamummy; 16-05-2015 at 20:38.
16-05-2015 20:58 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
following, 4 days a week we have to be out the door by 8.45 and its horrid, usually ends in yelling and me running around crazy
16-05-2015 21:00 #8
Subbing to come back later
16-05-2015 21:03 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
How old are the kids, OP? Just might help with offering practical suggestions.
18-05-2015 10:06 #10
Have everything ready the night before. Get older kids to help with younger kids ( if that's your family)
Older kids can get themselves dressed and make their own breakfast.
Easier if you're a sahm but you can get dinner prepared even cooked during the day
Home all day:
I'll let you know lol
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