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  1. #11
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    No unfortunately my family all reside in adelaide and I am in qld. Just trying to tough it out alone!

  2. #12
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    Definitely don't rule out medication for yourself, they may have potential (many only temporary) side effects on bub - but so does smoking! The meds might do more than make you feel better for a few minutes. I haven't smoked in over 10 years but I still crave them when I'm stressed, so I understand why you have taken it up again, but they really do suck!

    I just wanted to add, just because you and your partner share a GP, that does not mean you can't talk to them about anything. Patient-doctor confidentiality is between you and the doctor. If the doctor spoke to your partner about anything you spoke to the doctor about separately, then the doctor is breaching confidentiality. This could see them struck out from practising medicine - so something any doctor takes very seriously.

  3. #13
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    The problem with the meds is I was on trial and error with many different types over the years and found that they actually made me worse (suicidal feelings that had not been there pre meds) I will have a chat to my GP at my appointment next week and try and get a health care plan in place.

  4. #14
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    Sounds like a tough situation. My DP and I did a baby triple p course whic he'd helped us prepare for our new life as parents. Maybe something similar so he can understand that he can't be selfish anymore and needs to think of your baby before his addiction and drinking. It also helped us with communication

  5. #15
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    Hi Op. You can ask for a pharmacogenic test to figure out which meds are not going to help, which one's are most likely to help and which one's have the worst side effects for you. This way you won't need to keep trying different one's. There is a cost for this test but it may not be too much. Ask your gp as it is not a common thing to do but it has helped a few people I know to find the right med.

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  7. #16
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    OP these issues seem very tough to me and I really feel for you. It is common for people to become addicted to their pain medication, and move onto injecting etc, so it sounds like your partner is not on a good path. I would encourage him to get help, especially before baby arrives, but really he has to want to get help/ stop in himself so arguing with him about it may not make a huge difference, but It is so hard because what else can you do?
    I hate to say it, but things are likely to get a lot harder when baby arrives.
    If it were me, I would consider moving closer to your family (if they are supportive) because it sounds like your partner is not going to be a support for you when baby arrives, and you are going to need some support from somewhere.

  8. #17
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    OP are you in Brisbane? There is a clinic at Stafford called Peach Tree. They run support groups for ante and post natal depression- all free of charge- once bub is here they do casual mums group style sessions where you can take your baby along. I found it very hard to find good help with my PND due to finances and this was offered a few times.
    I agree with the others though- your anxiety isn't the problem in your relationship.

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  10. #18
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    http://www.peachtree.org.au/?page_id=859

    This is for an 'emotional adjustment to parenting' course. I think they do it at Redcliffe too. Good luck xx

  11. #19
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    Default General vent and advice

    you have a lot on your plate you poor thing.

    would you consider seeing a therapist/counsellor to help you out? would be better if your partner came too but maybe a few sessions on your own might help build up your confidence.

    your partner sounds like an immature **** (sorry, no offence). I too live in a city with no family around me and I don't have any close friends here. you really need your partner to step up and start being the man in the family. he should be taking care of you and his baby son on the way.

    either way, it sounds like you need to make some major changes together. has he always been like this? was the pregnancy planned?

    from his perspective, he prob feels like he works hard to make money and his drinking sessions with mates are ok as he needs to let off steam. have you suggested doing stuff together instead? maybe he could bypass the boys drinking night one week to have a date night with you?

    I'm sorry you're in such an uncertain and stressful situation, esp when you're preg.

    I hope things start improving for you soon xxx


 

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