+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,425
    Thanks
    12,376
    Thanked
    5,064
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default WWYD? - Mother's FB Post

    I logged on to FB this morning and my mother had posted this pic.






    My Mum is either NPD or BPD (not diagnosed) and left my Dad when we just entering our teens after having a long term affair. She moved several hours away, and was simply not that interested in being a mother. I remember school holidays when Dad would insist we had to see Mum (we didn't want to) and it would be all organised and at the last minute she'd call and say she couldn't have us because she was going away with a friend etc.

    As anyone who has a mother with these issues would understand, it is has not been an easy road, and she refuses to have any psychological help. When I saw this today, it made my blood boil. Not only did Dad never stop us from seeing our mother - it was THIRTY years ago!!! Why put something like this up on FB? What is she trying to prove? Does she want attention? Sympathy? She is the one that moved hours away - surely if she wanted to be in her daughter's lives she could have stayed in the same town after separating.

    I know I probably should just ignore it - but I'm so tempted to comment and ask why she would put something like that up on her page. I guess I'm spoiling for a fight right now, lol, so I think ignore is probably best!!! What do you think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,721
    Thanks
    457
    Thanked
    908
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ignore it. I have a similar relationship with my dad. He has mental health issues but I don't really know what exactly, but he refuses help. Instead he always plays the victim and I can't stand it. What I've learnt is there is no point bringing up anything or trying to fix it. It's pointless, stressful and he just ends up upsetting me.

    Try and let it go. Perhaps block her from your news feed so you don't need to see her rants. I get where you're coming from.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Pearlygirl For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  4. #3
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Sounds like she's deluding herself. Definitely turn the other cheek hun x

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    206
    Thanks
    125
    Thanked
    82
    Reviews
    0
    I would ignore it. It's pointless trying to reason with people like that. I know you're probably feeling very frustrated and possibly quite angry but responding in any way won't help at all. I've been there. It's tough. They're too so self consumed that they can't see the reality of the situation and therefore any effort to address conflict is futile. Hugs to you.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Once Upon a Time For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    640
    Thanks
    204
    Thanked
    311
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ignoring it is probably best but i cant say id be able too

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to MummaCat For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,248
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,668
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I wouldn't bother. IME people do this sort of stuff a) for attention b) as a PA dig as someone c) to reinforce something they've done or said as being right. With these sort of personality disorders there is often a complete absence of ownership of their decisions. Everything is everyone else's fault and the key thing is that they genuinely believe it. Your mother is the victim in her eyes. And the meme was her reinforcing that to herself along with probably a bit of A and B too. Don't feed into it bc it's not going to change. Trying to challenge her Victim Mentality will only reinforce it in her eyes.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015),~Marigold~  (15-05-2015)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1,911
    Thanks
    1,495
    Thanked
    699
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ignore it. My dad tags me in posts about having an awesome dad....reality is he wasn't much of a dad at all 😣

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Gracie's Mum For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,425
    Thanks
    12,376
    Thanked
    5,064
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks so much to everyone who has replied - your support and understanding has made me feel so much better, and I'm not tempted to comment back now :-)

    You are all so right and really valid points. She is forever the victim, no matter that her choices lead to certain outcomes, the world is always against her and its someone else's fault that things go wrong. She is definitely deluding herself as this is SO not what happened when we were kids, but it suits her better to be the one who was hard done by - not the one who left, wanted nothing to do with her kids because she was too busy partying, smoking pot, traveling and generally "living her life" child free.

    You're right @delirium there is a complete absence of ownership in a lot that she does, and it is pointless to argue, as it does reinforce that the world is against her.

    I'll just take some deep breaths and let it go. As everyone says, there is no point starting something over it - but geez I want to!

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,655
    Thanks
    1,666
    Thanked
    2,819
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Yeap ignore it, commenting will just open up for more frustrating feelings for you. You can't "win" this one

    Hugs, I understand how difficult and frustrating this must be for you xx

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to ExcuseMyFrench For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (15-05-2015)

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,888
    Thanks
    1,136
    Thanked
    1,266
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I would google a terrible mother meme, or make a status update about absent mothers, and post it to my wall, but have it so only my mother could see it! Give her some of her own medicine.

    Nah, i probably wouldn't, but I would want to.

    good on you for taking the moral high ground. xx

  18. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to GirlsRock For This Useful Post:

    Chillies  (31-07-2015),ExcuseMyFrench  (15-05-2015),Summer  (15-05-2015),Wise Enough  (15-05-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. WWYD? Facebook post
    By Mamasupial in forum General Chat
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 13-04-2015, 01:59
  2. Another WWYD
    By SpecialK in forum General Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 25-10-2014, 07:47

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Cots on BubhubLooking to buy a cot or bassinet? :: Cot safety checklist :: Local or online nursery ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›