DH and I are going to find out the gender of our next bubs.
My mum and dad are desperate not to know and have asked to keep it a surprise for them.
This will probably be their last grandchild (both my brother and I don't want any more).
However, DH and I would really really like to let dd (2) know and get her excited about getting a brother or sister. But then she will let my parents know....she talks about the baby all the time already lol!
So would you keep it a secret from dd too? I don't want to ruin it for my parents but we really want dd to know. DH says stuff my parents but that's easy for him to say.
Eta: I accidentally ruined it the first time around for them too
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14-05-2015 15:48 #1
Wwyd? Revealing sex of baby?
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 14-05-2015 at 15:56.
14-05-2015 15:57 #2
I think it is really up to you, not your parents, whether you tell dd. If you think it will significantly help your dd adjust to being a big sister then I think I would tell her. When I was pregnant with ds I heard someone say its a surprise either way - whether you find out at 20 weeks or at birth. I liked that idea.
14-05-2015 16:19 #3
I think it's really up to you guys.
You can say to your parents "we won't tell you but we can't guarantee DD won't!"
This is your news and it's so sweet of you to care about your parents feelings however (and I say this gently and with love!) it's not about them and what they'd like!
They're not in the innermost circle on this one. They're a step removed.
So let DD know it's a secret but also let your parents know this is how it's going to be!
Can you just tell us too though ?
14-05-2015 16:23 #4
Totally up to you. Yes it's exciting for your parents to have a surprise but it's your baby and if you want to find out the sex then go for it.
My in laws didn't want to know what our first was but it was common knowledge we were having a girl so I gave them the option of coming to the baby shower or not. They chose to come so found out we were having a girl.
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14-05-2015 16:46 #5
Its about what you want not what they want.
My FIL didn't want to know when we found out with DD and everyone else knew.
FIL found out at 36w, he didn't mind
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14-05-2015 18:17 #6Senior Member
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- Jan 2012
It's your baby... It's important to you that you introduce brother/sister to your DD the way you want to. You can say you will try but absolutely no guarantees.
14-05-2015 20:48 #7
I agree with everyone else. The decision is yours and your DH (and your DD to an extent).
It's so nice of you to try and accommodate your parents. I wouldn't tell them but would warn them that DD might let it slip
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14-05-2015 20:55 #8
Finding out the gender is so exciting! Eee! It's really nice of you to be so considerate of your parents.
I believe that ultimately it's your decision and you should do what you want first and foremost.
In your situation if my parents had asked me to keep it a secret because they really wanted a surprise, I would keep it a secret and not tell my DD. I would tell DD that she's going to be a big sister and she's going to have a little baby to look after and make it all about her being a big sister not about what gender her sibling will be. My parents have done so much for me and if they were genuinely that excited to have a surprise I think it would be a really small thing for me to do for them.
Good luck with your decision OP! There is no 'wrong' way to share your precious bubba's gender - at either 20 weeks, or full term, it's still going to be a surprise. Congrats.
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14-05-2015 21:37 #9Junior Member
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- May 2015
I see both sides of the fence. I believe what matters most is your DD and what she needs in order to ensure a smooth transition when the next child arrives. Im sure if you explained this to them they would understand.
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14-05-2015 22:00 #10
My dad and MIL didn't want to know the sex of this bub. We found out, and certainly told our daughter (2.5).
I told my dad in no uncertain terms that if he wanted to guarantee that he didn't find out, he'd have to walk around with earplugs in and avoid all contact with my/DD until bub was born. I told him that it wasn't his decision, and if he wanted to "have a surprise" then he could have his own baby :P
That said, I have intentionally not said anything around him. I'm now over 36 weeks and he hasn't found out. DD, by pure coincidence, hasn't let anything slip to him (even though we regularly talk about her baby brother at home). My dad will be coming to look after DD when I'm in labour, and I expect that she'll mention something then and he'll find out...best I could do for him though.
MIL, on the other hand, made the mistake of underestimating DD and her understanding. She saw the pram we'd bought and started saying (baby talk style) "oh, pram for your baby brother or sister. Is is a brother or a sister?" DD: "It's a baby brother!!". So...she found out at about 25 weeks :P
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