I need help to figure out how to build flexibility into my daily routine and not fall apart when things go wrong and I have no control. I know I should be grateful for a healthy family but it's such a struggle with 3 kids and no support. I make lists and feel if I could just get us into a routine I could cope but I seem to trip at every hurdle. Like Mother's Day was supposed to be chance for me to catch up on house jobs but cranky kids meant we went out and I got no time. Started today feeling optimistic but at 12.40 so far baby has not had any sleep. Just screams when I try and put her down. I don't do cio but had to walk away and leave her I was getting so stressed but she didn't go to sleep. Online shop is still lying on kitchen floor, bub is watching peppa pig and I'm drinking more coffee with my lunch which now is a biscuit!! I'm reading a book about building resilience for our kids but feel like I have zero myself.
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11-05-2015 11:45 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
How to stay sane with no control?
11-05-2015 13:56 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
I don't really know what to say and I probably don't really have any advice, but if it helps, I get how you're feeling. I struggle most days with juggling what I have to do, what I want to do and the needs of my family. I am easily distracted from the jobs I have to do or I procrastinate until I run out of time/opportunity. Then I kick myself for not having used my time more wisely. On the days when I'm focussed and determined to get stuff done, you can guarantee that the kids will be extra ratty/needy or my husband will need my help with something unexpectedly and still nothing gets done.
Occasionally, I strike it for a win and actually achieve something -- but those days can be far and few between.
As I said, no advice really, just wanting to let you know that I hear ya!
11-05-2015 14:10 #3
Pick the most important things and do those first.
Egg groceries turn up put bub down on mat on floor/bouncer/pram or a swing etc put the cold stuff away even if bub screams. Than put the rest away as soon as you can. Wash up in stages between stuff if needed.
If bub is really unsettled and won't go in a wrap try the pram and push her around the house while putting stuff away. Or rock the pram while doing a job. My kids lived in those old style net bouncers and picked them and took them to room I was working in. Always on the floor never a bench.
Put bub in a wrap or carrier and do the washing, sweeping etc.
Give yourself time and make sure you get 5 mins to yourself to recharge.
Make uses of a slow cooker so you can put dinner on when bub is playing quietly.
11-05-2015 14:11 #4
hi freyamum, it is not easy to have any sort of order when you have a baby. I would make certain things a priority and just let other things be. my first thing would be to make sure baby has his/her needs met. baby must be fed and nappy changed, and if possible have rest time. after that, make sure the basic housework is done, by that , I mean, the washing is done, there is food in the house, and a meal ready at night. then take care of yourself, have your shower, and if you can, schedule a rest time for yourself. I would sit on the couch and watch a bit of tv once I had the children home from school, so around 3 pm I hit an energy low, and I would just sit for 20 mins, before I had to start preparing dinner. the most important thing is to take each day as it comes. there is no point worrying about tomorrow, or what you didn't get done last week, just focus on today, and focus on what Needs to be done, and if you can get something extra done that is a bonus. I can honestly tell you, my house was never clean from top to bottom at the one time, I went weeks without vacuuming the carpets, I don't think I have ever washed windows in my life. but my kids had clean clothes on their back and a meal in their tummies every day. that is what was important for me. hugs, marie.
11-05-2015 14:18 #5Member
- Join Date
- May 2015
Hey @Freyamum big hugs hunni also a mum of 3 here i have two boys at school and my daughter just turned 1 but not walking or talking yet so it's a challenge... the only routine really i follow is to be out the door no later than 8:45am since we only live 15 min walking distance from school and in afternoons i just make sure homework gets done so whether one plays with his sister and i help the other or they both sit down together trying to work independently while i deal with my daughter etc somehow we survive each day - but i must admit my own family especially mum and one of my older sister's are my support system when i need that break from kids just for an hour or two even if it is to do grocery shopping it still makes a world of difference - do you have anyone at all that you could call upon when really desperate a good friend? Where abouts are you?
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