I recently had my second baby and it looks like DS has similar issues to DD who had silent reflux as a baby. She is two now and is amazing. I am trying to balance my time with both and right now its going ok since DP has been home to play with DD when im with DS.
DP has to go back to work at the end of next week and they are sending him away on his first day back. I honestly dont know how im going to cope. I basically have to hold DS the whole time and i just feel so sad for DD as i have no idea how I am going to make special time for her.
She loves her brother and i dont want that to change but i cant leave him to scream when his belly is in pain. How do i do everything at once? I feel like i cant be a good mum to both of them but its not like you can choose between your kids. Help!
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03-05-2015 14:47 #1
how do you cope?
03-05-2015 15:33 #2
I got an ergo. That's how I coped. I also chopped up fruit platters for dd1 in the morning and therefore always had an easy snack for her ready to go.
I also learnt to feed dd1 on the go, it was easy when she was tiny, I'd balance her on my boob, hold her there with one arm, and play with dd1 with my other hand. I could do puzzles or read or similar with dd1. As dd2 got bigger, I'd sit on the floor cross legged and sit dd2 in my lap, pop a boob in her mouth and play with dd1 at the same time. I also did bedtime like this.
You'll be fine when your dh goes away, just relax, be flexible with your schedule and go with it. But seriously, an ergo is great, dd1 had far fewer tummy issues when she was kept upright against me.
03-05-2015 16:46 #3
Mum used to have us hold the baby while she read to us- baby cried no matter who was holding her, so it didn't matter who did.
03-05-2015 19:13 #4
Hugs xx my second was a difficult baby too and had terrible reflux. I have a 16 month gap between my 2, so sometimes I found it really hard to manage both on my own. My hubby works away so I had to figure out a way to deal with it early on.
I found the baby swing really useful. It was the only other place (asides from on me) where DS2 would sleep. Was my chance to get things done, or give DS1 some time with me.
Baby carrier is definitely another useful item to have around. DS2 was happy to be close to me, and I had my hands free to play outside with DS1 or even take him to the park.
When I was feeding DS2 frequently, I would always make sure I set up a snack and drink for DS1 so I wouldn't have to get up. I would have some stories, TV remote and iPad handy. Depending on what DS1 felt like doing...we could read stories, watch some TV or he could play some games on the iPad. Or I would set him up with some toys near me and he could play with those while I was feeding.
For one on one time I would try to get DS2 down for a nap and then make sure to play with DS2. Same went for bedtime. I would try to get DS2 down first and then spend some quiet time with DS1, read some stories and have cuddles before he went to sleep.
You make it work. It's an adjustment, but you will find a routine and structure that suits you and your kids best. Good luck x
03-05-2015 19:23 #5
Our DD (second child) was a very challenging baby. It was tough to juggle her and still make time for DS. Some of the things I found that helped were-
- each morning (or night before) i pre prepared all his meals (fruit, cheese, little sandwiches, leftovers etc). I also had drink bottles in the fridge for him.
- I spent a lot of time in the rocking chair with DD. I set it up next to DS's train table so I could play and interact with him whilst in the chair
- baby carrier was a saviour
Wishing you all the very best x
03-05-2015 19:24 #6
Baby wearing really helped us. I had a wrap for the newborn stage then progressed to an ergo. I could also breast feed in ergo so made life a lot easier for us. baby was happy and I could go about day to day tasks and interact with my oldest.
03-05-2015 19:31 #7
You poor thing! I fear my next Bub will have awful silent reflux and feeding issues like DD. I baby wear her a LOT as she wants to be held constantly.
Good luck xx
03-05-2015 19:36 #8
Hugs, i found number 2 was a huge adjustment, and a very difficult baby, also had severe reflux amongst other things. She hated the baby carrier, but i found the baby swing an absolute lifesaver. I have one that can be very upright, which is great for reflux. I second the cutting up fruit &veg platters in the morning, make a sandwich for her then too, then you have very little food prep throughout the day. Freeze bulk soups for yourself that you can drink from a mug on the go. Or finger food plate for lunch - bit of cucumber, bit of sliced chicken, etc that you can eat one handed on the go. Prep dinner when bub is sleeping (if he ever does!), or early afternoon/ a 'happy' time of day,so youre not trying to prep dinner at 5pm when everyone is screaming. Involve dd in dinner prep - give her a mushroom & a butter knife to cut it, or broccoli to break into florets, etc - let her play a bit with some food with you. And of course, TV dont feel guilty about using tv to save your sanity. She will enjoy it,and it will only be for a short while. It gets easier,i promise. I have 3 now &it is a breeze compared to then!
03-05-2015 21:16 #9
Thank you all for all the tips so far. It has helped. I have a small collection of wovens, ring slings, a stretchy wrap and a manduca that i used with DD cause of her reflux issues. They definitely help.
I am hoping DS will get used to them as he seems to only like them when he is sleepy and he hates having his head tucked under a pass when he is awake.
I am currently running on little sleep as he seems to wake up around 11ish and then spends the rest of the night up and down with his tummy. I dont want to wish his newborn stage away as he is my last baby but its definitely tough.
04-05-2015 05:04 #10
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