As stay at home dad with 2 little ones ,I find it sometimes a bit difficult to deal with people’s reactions . Mothers group doesn’t seem that interesting for me the women seem to turn a bit of a cold shoulder to me ,they are polite an would smal talk but mostly gossip among each other . Last week I had a tradie in to do some work in the house who smugly made some remarks about having the good job and after I told him that it was the best job in the world looked at me like I was crazy. Do any other dads have similar experiences ,how do you deal with it
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28-04-2015 13:57 #1Junior Member
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- Apr 2015
Stay at home dads
28-04-2015 15:10 #2
Hi Nhero. I'm a mum but I can reply from my Dhs side
When DD was 6m old I had to return to full time work; because of her severe reflux and sleep habits we decided no tto put her in daycare and DH decided to become a stay at home dad..and continued to be one till DD was 2yrs old.
Main way he tolerated all the remarks from otherguys(and women) regarding him not working was finding other local stay at home dads and meeing up with them
We found the group from the local child health nurse so maybe get in touch with them?
It was hard for him to deal with judgemental attitudes but he was happy to do it as it was the best decision for our DD
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28-04-2015 16:31 #3
You know why people gossip right though? You know why people talk bad about anyone right? It's insecurity. They probably have a hard time at home getting their partner's to do anything and they are resentful of your wife being able to work and have you stay at home. Even if people don't admit they are jealous or insecure there is a deep internal discord inside people that is so subliminal even admitting it is hard because they usually don't know why they are hating you for no good reason.
Not everyone is like that thankfully. I think the main thing is you need to look for people outside of the school group maybe other sahd. The other thing is society always will have some joke to say about it. I've had sahd friends tell me these things and they are really confident in their job so they just brush it off. Have some confidence say to yourself I'm good enough and anyone who tells me otherwise is wrong. Then go find your tribe.
Wait haha wrong words her job poor wording excuse the freudian slip of the tongue I'm so sorry! See so deeply ingrained in society lol...
Last edited by Trusty Chords; 28-04-2015 at 16:40.
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28-04-2015 18:57 #4
28-04-2015 18:58 #5
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Trusty Chords (28-04-2015)
01-05-2015 10:55 #6
My husband isn't a sahd but he works part time so he does take the kids out a lot. So far he hasn't had any bad remarks said to him (not sure if people talk behind his back though).
It's a shame that men just can't be dad's and spend time with their kids without others getting jealous.
01-05-2015 13:06 #7
DH was a SAHD until DD was around 2, then has been working part time in his business since then, but still does more time at home with her than I do and all the kinder drop off/pick ups. He has copped a few negative remarks but generally he's had a good experience, our mums group has accepted him with open arms. He has made a huge effort though, in terms of organising play dates and in inviting people over for scones and tea (sometimes cheese and wine too) and I do think that's made a big difference. People appreciate it and some other dads have even taken mornings/arvos off work to come over to catch up with DH.
I hope it gets easier and you can connect with some other local parents who are open to your situation and won't judge! DH had a wonderful time at home with DD and they have such a close relationship now, it's so nice when dads take on more of the "traditional" women's roles in the home, it sets a great example for the kids and the bonding time is priceless.
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