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  1. #1
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    Default Fair or unfair?

    DD has pets which she begged for about 18 months ago. For the first few months she played with them and loved them. But for the last year she couldn't be bothered. She has to be constantly nagged to clean up after them. Will take hours to give them the bare necessities of food and water. No longer plays with them and treats them like a chore. We've tried set rules on when tasks need to be done. We've talked to her over and over about how important changing their water and cleaning up after them is. We've threatened several times to give them away.

    We have a baby, DH is studying and working. We have 2 school aged kids that do sports and extra curricular stuff. DH and I don't have the time to care for these pets and frankly we shouldn't have to, DD was clearly told when she got them they were her animals and while we would help, they were a majority of her responsibility.

    We are now seriously discussing giving them away. Are we being unfair? Thoughts please.

    eta - DD is almost 11.

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    Can you tell her that unless she looks after them you will have to give them away?

    Explain it's not fair on the pets and they will have to go to someone who will look after them.

    Eta this might be a bit of a reality check for her and she might start to look after then better?

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    Default Fair or unfair?

    How old is DD? Is she able to understand the consequences for these animals if they're given away? That they may be neglected, mistreated, or euthanized?

    Pets are lifetime commitments. I understand that your daughter told you she'd look after them but IMO the pets are now paying the price.

    If it were any other thing that DD had been mistreating then yes, selling it or giving it away might be a good way to show DD consequences.

    It might be a great opportunity for you to teach DD about commitments. Take her to the RSPCA and show her all the dogs, cats, birds, lizards and guinea pigs that now don't have a home.

    Pets and a young family are super hard work OP! I hope you find a nice home for your DD's pets and get to spend more time loving your family without another added stress! Xx

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    I would probably set a timeframe on it- eg 2 months, then write up a feeding/cleaning chart so your DD can tick it off each day, and if DD doesn't perform the task, then it gets a cross. That way, as the 2 months progresses you'll be in a good position to visually show her she is or isn't looking after them. Once the 2 months is up, it will be obvious to her and you whether or not the pets need to go. Good luck.

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    That would be fair on your DD, but not on the pets. If you permit your child to get a pet, you're ultimately taking on the responsibility yourself to look after them, come what may.
    Last edited by Gentoo; 19-04-2015 at 10:15.

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    Yes we've threatened several times if she doesn't pick up her game we are giving them away. She cries and says she doesn't want to give them away and improves for a week max then reverts to the old behaviour.

    She is going on 11 BestThings and most certainly understands the consequences of not feeding or taking care of them.

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    This is why I refuse to buy my kids a pet, I know they will lose the excitement and I'll be stuck looking after it. I like dogs but I don't have the time to look after it.

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    What pets are they?

    At the risk of offending and ****ing you off (i really dont mean too) is children will ALWAYS say yes ill look after them yes its my responsibility etc however they are still just kids. If parents are to get pets for the children i think they need to be 100% aware that ultimately they will be the ones looking after the pets. Its normal. Its what kids do. If the parents arent committed then they shouldnt get them no matter how many promises the kids make.
    Sorry delirium

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    Otherwise yes it is fair as they do deserve a family who can provide them what they need. Just be very thorough with who you rehome them too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~BEXTER~ View Post
    This is why I refuse to buy my kids a pet, I know they will lose the excitement and I'll be stuck looking after it. I like dogs but I don't have the time to look after it.
    Yep, it sucks. We held off getting her a pet until her 9th birthday bc we know they can be a lot of work and didn't want to set her up to fail. But she's very grown up in most respects which makes this all even worse. She has the maturity to handle them and to understand.


 

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