My Grandmother has dementure ( and a life long attitude problem, but thats another thread ) and was admitted to hospital after a fall. My mother worked hard to make her home suitable for her to return to and have home care nurses come to her twice daily. My GM has been disobeying them and not taking her meds etc. This morning Mum has shown up to her place to find that Nan had dead bolted door (which prevents the nurses getting in). On top of that she has had a fall at some point and was on the ground. She had wet herself and had obviously been there a while.
The ambulance was called and she has been taken to emergancy however the hospital has said they will release her if nothing is wrong with her.
The issues are:
My mother is one of 8, and she is the only one aiding in the care of GM. Mum has had to take time off work to care for her (which she simply cannot afford, shes risking losing her house already). If she is releaaed into Mums care she will basically need to be a full time carer as she wont be able to be left alone. Mum cannot not work and honestly she wont cope with the frustration of living with GM 24/7. I know she will lose the plot.
I am of the belief that GM needs to go into a nursing home, but how does this work? Mum has been told it may take up to 3 months to get a place, and as mentioned above she cannot not work for 3 months.
How do people cope in situations like this? I know its awful, but i keep thinking there are so many elderly with no family, so there has to be options regarding the care of elderly, especially those with difficult conditions? I am honestly worried about my mothers mental/financial health coping with this alone.
It doesnt help that GM has never been a 'nice' granny, always sponged money from us and used to steal things from our home constantly. I think Mum holds alot of resentment towards her which then lowers her patience.
I dont know what to do
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16-04-2015 12:06 #1
Elderly Care Options
16-04-2015 12:14 #2
Ask the hospital to do an ACAT referral ASAP. Once this is done you can apply to go on waiting lists for care facilities. Also may qualify you for respite care. When it comes to applying put her name down in as many places as you can and be prepared to take the first place that pops up.
Getting your GM to actually agree to go into a home may be difficult too. Start talking to her about it.
16-04-2015 12:18 #3
16-04-2015 12:23 #4
Start with the ACAT assessment. They come to her home/ or the hospital if that's where she is. Your mum will get a chance to have input so she can say for example what's been done and the outcomes.
You never know. Sometimes after a fall etc they realise that they are not coping at home and can be more open to discussion on the idea. She doesn't have to go into a home but the ACAT gives the option. ( payout do need one to go into a home though)
16-04-2015 13:01 #5
Can the hospital force a family member to take them into FT care?
16-04-2015 13:05 #6
No if you are asked you can explain that you are unwilling/unable to take on her care on a full time basis.
16-04-2015 13:06 #7
16-04-2015 13:09 #8
16-04-2015 13:19 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
Re. how long it takes, it depends on if you can find a facility with vacancies. Some do, others have waiting lists.
Some of our residents have stayed in hospital after a fall waiting for a place in a nursing home, as it was too risky to send them home.
And yes many of our residents come to us very sternly stating that they don't want to be here and that their family made them.
16-04-2015 13:25 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I would get your Mum to talk to the medical team and explain all that is going on, or ask to speak to a social worker about it. If your GM has dementia formally diagnosed, they could assess her for capacity, to see how she is coping cognitively. Highlight that she isn't taking medications and refusing assistance.
I agree with the previous suggestions of getting an ACAT assessment done- and ask for it to be completed whilst in hospital (much quicker that way).
Good luck- it's a really tricky situation for you all.
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