Sounds like my DS who is now nearly 4. Around that time sleeping was horrible but it was all teeth related. We tried CC and it didn't work at all. He nearly 4 and we still cuddle to sleep in his bed
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10-04-2015 12:32 #11
10-04-2015 12:48 #12
I always thought that hands-on settling (like for your dd, patting/rubbing her belly) usuallu promotes good sleep, because even though youre helping them go to sleep,they wake up in the same place they went to sleep? I would maybe rulw out other reasons first- is she getting cold with the change of weather? Teething/ illness? Eating enough through the day, esp protein for dinner, so she isnt getting hungry? Not too much day nap time (although the fact she is going back to sleep quickly does seem to indicate she is tired enough).
I did a bit of CC with my first - let her grizzle for 5-10min and then settled until she was calm. I think if you go in too often for cc (some people go in every 1-2 mins) it's too confusing for the bubba because youre in & out so much,and they dont have the chance to self settle. Foe my 2nd DD, instead of doing the in & out CC thing, i would leave her one time for about 10 mins, and then go in and stay with her rubbing her belly until she went to sleep. Then youre not in & out, bub has an opportunity to self settle, but you help them to sleep if they cant within the first time frame (and you can set the time, between 5-20ish mins - or you could leave her 5 mins the first nigh, 8mins the second, 10 mins the third, etc - whatever youre comfortable with. Dont know if i should mention it, but this is the very very evil (lol) save our sleep method, but i do personally prefer it to CC, because you only leave them for one opportunity to self settle, then youre in assisting them to sleep.
10-04-2015 12:55 #13
I think that's where I went wrong..max went straight to meltdown. No protest or grizzle just pure hysterics
10-04-2015 13:00 #14
Have you ruled out intolerance, worms, tonsils and adenoids? 20 minutes is excessive at that age especially if she's gone backwards.
10-04-2015 13:06 #15
Is CC my only option?
Have you tried retreating gradually? Sit next to her cot shooshing and holding her hand or resting your hand on her and do that until she's asleep for a couple of days. Then sit next to her cot and shoosh for a couple of days. Then sit further away until you can just walk out after lying her down. This worked with DS, I would sit next to him in the dark with my arm through the bar and shoosh but keep my head down and my eyes closed. Then sit a little further away shooshing with eyes closed (kinda pretending I was asleep) and then eventually I could just lie him down and walk out with no fuss.
The first night he lost his shizz, was so upset that he had to stay in his cot but I kept reminding myself about what I read on Dr. Jay Gordan's (?) site. He's crying because he's annoyed with me not because something is wrong and I'm still in there soothing him, he's not alone so I do know he's ok. That helped me get through the first night of him being really upset and after that every night was easier.
This was before he weaned himself, so was still breastfeeding but was over 1 and had just decided to become really awful about me putting him to bed which sucked because DH is never home for bedtime! He's sleeping much better overnight right now since weaning but currently fights me for bedtime and an angel for DH (we're still visiting OZ). So when DH isn't around I am currently doing the gradual retreat but just putting up with it since we are traveling. I'm still co-sleeping half the night as well, he's in his cot until his wake up around midnight when he now has a bottle and then he comes into bed with me after that. It's not perfect but one wake up is so much better than what he used to do that I'm fine with this current arrangement. And I sleep better when I'm with him anyways 😊.
I think that's worth a go. Have you read Jay Gordon's link about weaning off of 'the family bed?' I can find it for you if you can't.
Eta: but also agree to ensure she's feeling ok as well. Could very well be teething or ears bothering her?
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 10-04-2015 at 13:13.
10-04-2015 13:13 #16
No intolerances, could be teeth, could be worms but I can't give her a tablet until she is 2 (her brothers get worms from school at least once a term but we've discovered the early signs and treat them and their towels, bedclothes etc at the first sign. So while I say it *could* be worms, she isn't indicating any distress towards her bottom and I have checked her pooey nappies jic and couldn't see any worms).
As I said in the op I did think she may have been under the weather a few days ago but she had dymadon last night and it made no difference. Until I was in bed beside her.
Is it possible she has some sort of separation anxiety thing? She gets upset if I leave her with someone else, but only for 5 minutes or so and then she is fine.
My mum had all 3 kids while df and I spent a night away 2 weeks ago and she took them to the local footy. My sil commented it was the happiest she had ever seen dd, and they thought it probably was because I wasn't there so she wasn't worried about me going somewhere without her?!
She doesn't have a comforter either. We did try, but she just isn't one of those kids.
10-04-2015 13:17 #17
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10-04-2015 13:26 #18
We had massive probs with my DS even tricillian didn't work for us. No sos he went from 0 to screaming in 2 seconds. We got a lady in to help, and her method worked a treat for us...
Set bed routine
1 book only (we where reading 2-3, now we read 1, twice)
Cuddle then pop in bed say good night and walk out.
Wait 3 mins
Go back in for 30 secs, lying them down say it's sleep time once, rub back or face, 30 secs only
Walk out and wait another 3mins
Repeat 4 times
On the 4th time go in and say for 1 minute, then back out for 3
Next time in for 10 mins, hand in back
Out for 3
This last time go in and stay till they fall asleep, however long it takes. Do what they like, tap them, rub, just don't pick up.Make sure there's a chair handy
We did 2 nights of this, on the third he slept after the 10 mins,4th night went right off to sleep.
My DH would time and cough when times up, we also where told to look in their eyes calmly and only from 10min mark to shut them.
It's a hard road and I feel for you, good luck I hope you get some sleep soon
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10-04-2015 14:35 #19Senior Member
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I did CC with my DS1 and it was so hard, I don't know if I could do it again. But from day 3 he slept 12 hrs overnight and 2-3hrs during the day, and it still an awesome sleeper- is usually snoring 2 mins after his head hits the pillow. If you're going to do it you have to be totally sure and committed and have someone to support you. And make a plan and stick to it.
I did some half hearted attempts with my DD, who is nearly 4, and she is a terrible sleeper, needs someone to sit with her to fall asleep (takes her at least half an hour to fall asleep) and them spends half the night in my bed anyway.
I would give your DD a couple more nights, maybe give her a nurofen at bedtime if you think she's a bit sick or teething and see if things improve. You could try scaling back the patting, so just pat until she's calm and sleepy, then just leave a hand on her until she's asleep, until gradually you don't need to pat anymore.
I would give her a comforter even if she's not into it, especially if you're going to do the CC.
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10-04-2015 15:31 #20Senior Member
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- Oct 2014
BUT I feel your pain, my 19m old is the same, up for hours and waking regularly, I tried CC, it didnt work just made him terrified of the cot
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