For those who have never seen me whinge or complain about DD's sleep habits on here (you must be new, so hi! ) but basically regression at four months saw her begin to wake frequently and we have never recovered. I started co-sleeping half the night with her just so I could get some rest (on a double bed in her room so as not to disturb anyone else) and she had always been breastfed to sleep, and back to sleep upon waking until 2 weeks ago when I abruptly weaned her by telling her 'no more milk'.
The first night after weaning it took 2 hours for her to settle, but she eventually did and has improved to a point where most naps and nights I can get her to sleep in about 20 minutes after reading 2 books, giving her a cuddle and popping her into her cot. If she lays down I stay with her and pat and rub her back, if she stands and puts on an act I walk out for either 2 minutes, or until she has calmed down enough from screaming to call me back in. This doesn't happen very often.
So obviously she has gone from being fed to sleep, to now being patted to sleep. I thought it was an improvement.
However- the past couple of nights she has been waking every 20 minutes. EVERY. 20. MINUTES. She goes back to sleep easily enough, but I can't sleep because as soon as I am back in bed and relaxed enough to sleep again, I am being called back.
Not to mention I've had one nights sleep beside DF for the whole night since she was 5 months old. It has come to a point where I have had enough. I have been applying for jobs again and I know I can't commit myself fully to work if I am still getting this terrible broken sleep.
I really didn't want it to come down to CC- my boys were very similar in their sleep patterns and I weaned them at about 20 months and saw gradual improvement until they were sleeping all night long before they turned 2. DD seems to be going in the opposite direction.
It is highly probable that she is teething and may be feeling a little unwell- both boys have been sick these school holidays and whilst she hasn't picked up their nasty coughs, she has looked a little unwell the past few evenings, and last night refused her tea.
If I do end up doing CC though, I feel like I need explicit instructions on how to go about it. How long do I leave her for, what do I do when I go back in to her etc. I've never had to do it before and wouldn't know where to begin. After how long can I expect to see results? How long should I expect settling her on the first night will take? Any insight would be awesome.
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10-04-2015 10:38 #1
Is CC my only option?
10-04-2015 10:47 #2
10-04-2015 10:57 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Massive hugs, it's a tough time with little sleep and a determined baby! With DD I would do the usual wind down, making sure she had a full belly then a cuddle/book in her chair. Then the hard part - put her down with a comforter/sleep teddy and walk out. First time out of the room I did 5 mins but choose what you are comfortable with. Then I would go back in and although most books said not to, I picked her up for a cuddle as she would not calm down at all with me just patting her. If she settles a bit when you go back in then I wouldn't pick her up, just pat or rub or back for max 2 min. Use a clock so you are not staying longer. Then I increased my time or if the room by a couple of mins each time and repeat til she's asleep. Dd took 35 mins first attempt and it was very hard I won't lie. The next time was down to 20 min and over the next 2 days it was less and less. After 2 full days she was sleeping all night and having 2hr naps! That was the awesome pay off. Better for both of us. I recommend you have some support if you can. Sometimes I went outside to cry while dd was crying and I did doubt if I was doing the right thing. But when it worked in a few days and we were all much better rested I was glad I did it. Anyway that was my experience, best of luck. Feel free to ask more questions
10-04-2015 11:16 #4
We kind of went the opposite route, my husband sleeps in the spare room with our eldest (if she goes to sleep in another bed or on the lounge she finds her way into his bed by morning). I sleep with dd2, for naps I take my iPad and read while she settles herself down and goes to sleep, then I sneak out. I do the same for the night sleep, I just sneak back in when I'm ready to sleep.
It works really well, we all get a good nights sleep with very little stress.
We're prepared to sleep separately so we're not getting up all night, I know that wouldn't work for every relationship (adult time isn't too hard to find, you just have to be a bit more creative, and take advantage of nap time).
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10-04-2015 11:20 #5
I did very similar to red corset.
I do leave for 2 mins, settle for one, leave for 4 mins, settle for one, leave for 6 mins, settle for one.
I also pick up and cuddle when I settle him or he just goes ballistic and makes it worse.
10-04-2015 11:33 #6
Ow! That doesn't sound good.
Much as DD was a cr@ppy sleeper I couldn't do even the most gentle form of CC with her because she would howl the moment she was put down. When she was 2 we started to get a bit stricter with her about staying in her own bed.
How old is your DD now?
When DS was about 14 months old he got really bad at going to sleep or sleeping through. Many a night DH would take him for a drive in the middle of the night to get him back to sleep. (Imagine and angry, tired dad in his jarmies driving around a toddler int he back who wanted to party on.) From memory it would take about an hour or so to get him to sleep and get him back to sleep. Sometimes we would pop him our bed and put a wiggles DVD on. I have been serenaded to sleep by the wiggles more times than I care to remember. We eventually did a gentle form of CC. Grizzling was permitted, crying in fear etc was not. He had a nightime routine and when it was bedtime he would be put in his cot. He was left to grizzle at timed intervals to go to sleep. It took 12 minutes.
In your case I think I would rule out teething with some panadol first though.
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10-04-2015 11:52 #7
She has just turned 20 months. I like the idea of leaving to grizzle and not scream- sometimes DD doesn't grizzle at all though.. and if I left the room I think it would escalate into a scream quite quickly.
She is almost old enough to reason with (if you stay in your cot all night you get a reward) but not quite.. it's hard to be so close and yet so far!
10-04-2015 12:17 #8
Sorry, Im not aware of her sleeping issues but for the initial settling if you told her 'ok, lay down for cuddles with *comforter* and i'll be back in 5 minutes' would she understand/listen?
I can't even remember what DS was like at that age, it was so long ago but I do remember saying the above to him over the years and he's usually asleep by the time I go back in. Then maybe when she wakes she'll find comforter and go back to sleep again?
10-04-2015 12:28 #9
How old is she again noms?
10-04-2015 12:29 #10
Sorry just saw that ☺️
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