In Coles this morning, had the worst pain in my belly and it just happened. Was so grateful no one was around, you know it's bad when you're disgusted as your own scent!
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19-04-2015 15:42 #141
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15-12-2015 00:11 #142
15-12-2015 00:21 #143Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
Look, in the interest of blowing @harvs mind, I gary to the point where I'm known for it among my immediate family. I'm not allowed to eat onions any more but in my defence, I've had a bowel re-section!
15-12-2015 01:41 #144
I've had to start being more cautious about my Garys in front of DS as he now notices and fans his hand in front of his face and goes 'peeeewwww.' 😳 DH isn't taking the same approach...
15-12-2015 04:15 #145
I missed this thread first time around. Here's numerous tales of woe, from someone who suffers from IBS of the constipation and bloating variety:
- Ballet class when I was about 15, doing pointe exercises at the barre and a gary sneaks out. I made a sort of "hmp!" noise of surprise, and looked around to see if anyone had heard. The girl next to me who was the ultimate in female perfection caught my eyes in the mirror and smirked at me.
- Rehearsal for a contemporary dance production. Experimenting with different poses for a part that we had to choreograph ourselves, I did a sort of slow squat down with my legs wide and hands on my knees.... to the accompanying "music" of an enormous gary. Fortunately only three people heard... who promptly ****ed themselves laughing and never let me forget about it.
- Working at Target, I was in the staff lift alone and let off the most putrid gary. The lift stopped and another staff member got in. After about half a second he exclaimed, "Gees, did you drop ya guts or something?!" I denied it and said the stink was there when I'd gotten in the lift. I'll never know whether he believed me or not. I think he was probably pretty sceptical.
- Again at Target, my mum had made her delicious lasagne the night before, but it always gave me the most awful bloat and garys the next day. I'd started at 7am and there was no one around, so I was happily letting them go one after the other. Then a member of staff sought me out to ask me some questions, and we were pretty much surrounded by a green sulphurous mist. He never said a word, but I wanted to disappear into the floor.
- Play wrestling with my new boyfriend on the couch, he had his knees wrapped around me, front and back, and squeezed... and managed to squeeze a gary out of me. "Maybe I squeezed a little too hard," he said.
- Around 22 weeks pregnant, suffering awful constipation and as a result bloating. Spending the afternoon in our cabin on a cruise ship, DH thinks it's a good time to get busy. Let's just say that we had to call it off after a very forceful foreplay gary.
15-12-2015 06:42 #146
Not embarrassing now but funny I guess.
On my 21st birthday I was completely wasted. My friend had driven so was driving me and DP home which was about 25 minutes away. She kept having to pull over so we could spew on the side of the road (as you do - this includes a busy motorway). Apparently everytime I spewed I was ripping loud stinky Gary's. I woke up to a message from her asking if I had pooped myself.
15-12-2015 07:12 #147
Funny that this thread has popped up this week. Yesterday at work I walked into the bathroom at work and my colleague was there washing her hands. I said hello and went into the cubicle. As I was weeing, I let out a gigantic Gary and obviously my colleague knew it was me in there! I was mortified. Thankfully she's at the other end of the office so I don't see her often.
15-12-2015 07:49 #148
15-12-2015 08:12 #149Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I work in shopping centres and frequently have to stifle my giggles in the public toilets, I can't help it but I still think farts are funny and there always seems to be someone in there letting one of those loud long ones go while they're doing a wee.....
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15-12-2015 08:25 #150
My mum did a computer course a few years ago and there was an elderly woman in the class who would openly Gary multiple times per class whilst sitting at the computer.
This woman would never bat an eyelid or excuse herself when she did it I have to wonder whether (a) she pretends it didn't happen because it's embarrassing or (b) doesn't give a honk because she's old!
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