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  1. #41
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    Ummm. HELL NO. When we lived away from family and i travelled to see them it was a minimum 2 night stay with them and they only lived 4 hours away! Bugger driving 7 hours!! If it was for a few nights then maybe but not for a fleeting visit. Totally unreasonable.

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  3. #42
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    Not a reasonable request.

    I have done a lot of traveling with DD (20 months) and even I wouldn't do 14 hours return for a 1 day visit.

    We usually aim for around 4-5 hours a day max of driving with stops every 2 hours (for around 45 mins).

    It really is a ridiculous request from your MIL.

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  5. #43
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    A 14 hour round trip for a few hours?

    No.

    Tell your DH that he needs to back you up on this. You are exhausted now, doing daily stuff in your home environment with bub.
    Ask him to imagine a 7hr car trip, that will turn into 10 hours easily (stop and settle, stop and feed, etc) with a screaming bub- because she sure won't sleep if she hates the car!
    Then ask him to imagine doing all that, you get there and his mum spends up to 6 hours (if she hasn't "made plans for later") with you, and then you have to do it all over again.

    F that. I wouldn't travel that far with a 5 year old to see DH! Never mind a baby to see an in-law they will be seeing in a few months anyway.

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  7. #44
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    I haven't read any replies, but can't she travel 7 hours to you and back!?

    Completely unreasonable for her to expect you to do that. How selfish of her!

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  9. #45
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    If it's not that big if a deal - offer to pay for a bus/train ticket half way and have your husband drive to pick her up and drop her back.

    See how quickly she backs away when she actually has to put in some effort.

    And no you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn't do it in a million years for any of my family and I am very close to them, matter of fact I don't think they would ever be so selfish as to ask let alone pressure after I've said no...

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015),ExcuseMyFrench  (10-04-2015),Mod-Degrassi  (08-04-2015),Starfish30  (08-04-2015),Wise Enough  (08-04-2015)

  11. #46
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    Absolutely not, there's no way I would even entertain the idea. WTH MIL? I would tell your DH to to stop badgering you, if MIL wants to see her grandchild that much she can come to you!! I had a bunch of errands to run last week and DS was in the car for an hour and a half and he absolutely lost the plot. No way would I even entertain a minimum 7 hour trip.

    Gees this has really grated on me, must be to do with my own selfish MIL issues

    ETA: I refused to do a 3-4 hour round trip with my 3 month old on Christmas day because I knew it would be more like 5 hours with traffic and stopping to feed/change etc (plus 5 hours of driving on Xmas day, no way in hell). It was a PITA with the inlaws and I was pressured very hard to go, but I stood my ground. You can do it
    Last edited by Pearlygirl; 08-04-2015 at 09:47.

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  13. #47
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    Definitely not reasonable.I wouldn’t drive that far by myself for a visit of only a few hours, let alone with a young baby in the car.I hope your DH can see how unreasonable that request is and speak to his mother.


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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  15. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meld85 View Post
    If it's not that big if a deal - offer to pay for a bus/train ticket half way and have your husband drive to pick her up and drop her back.

    See how quickly she backs away when she actually has to put in some effort.
    I like this idea ^

    I'm with everyone else here - no way! It's an unreasonable request on her part.

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  17. #49
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    No way would I do it. The best idea is to offer a train ticket and get DP to pick her up. It's rude and unreasonable of them to ask.

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    Chillies  (08-04-2015)

  19. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meld85 View Post
    If it's not that big if a deal - offer to pay for a bus/train ticket half way and have your husband drive to pick her up and drop her back.

    See how quickly she backs away when she actually has to put in some effort.

    And no you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn't do it in a million years for any of my family and I am very close to them, matter of fact I don't think they would ever be so selfish as to ask let alone pressure after I've said no...
    This is actually what I'm going to do only I'm annoyed to even offer to pay for her to come and see her grandchild. It's the only option she has now-she can do the 20 hour round trip if she wants cuddles or she can wait til we can afford our trip to see everyone there later in the year.

    Thanks everyone for the reassurance, I'm so glad/relieved I'm not in the wrong for thinking this request was too much.


 
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