These are my reasons for feeling like i need a routine, and why i read SOS.
- My DF works away. He will be going away for 6 months when the baby is one, and may be going away before that. I need to have some sort of routine so that i am able to cope with day to day life on my own with the baby without being overwhelmed.
- I have had about as much experience with babies as i have had in size 8 jeans. So i think as VP said it will be handy in me knowing what to do and what baby might be needing.
- I know my personality, and although attachment parenting works for some, i dont think i will cope with it.
- Bub being able to self settle is important to me. If DF goes away to work and im working FT i cannot be rocking my baby to sleep for hours every night, otherwise i will turn into the devil (personality downfall, crankiest person alive on no sleep+work).
As you all said, i need to decide whats right for us, but with no prior experience i am feeling like a deer in the headlights. I need some support as i am on my own with this whole Mummy bizzo. I really didn't want this to turn into a debate. I had no idea it was such a hot topic.
Thanks to all those who had constructive advice for me
I will def take you up on that offer @VicPark
+ Reply to Thread
Results 71 to 80 of 184
06-04-2015 20:58 #71
The Following User Says Thank You to heplusme For This Useful Post:
06-04-2015 21:05 #72
@heplusme I think you and I are very similar in terms of temperament.
Full disclosure - things got so bad with DS in the first 18 months that I considered trying SOS except for two things: I knew beyond a doubt he would 'beat' me (doing it on my own), and I felt like I had missed the boat. I hadn't heard of SOS til DS was a couple of months old.
I fully understand the desire to have a routine and security and to feel in control of your life, so please don't feel like I don't value that. It's been incredibly hard for me to go with DS's flow as much as I do (which isn't very much).
I just want to say that it's great to prepare and to read and research. I think the biggest factors at the time will be your bubba's temperament and how you feel. Both of these are things you won't know until you get there. Believe me, I get how overwhelming that is.
Just trust your gut and your heart and you will do what is right for you and your little one. It's ok to try something, then try something different (within reason). If you do decide to go down the SOS route, VP has endless time to support and answer questions so please take her up on her offer.
Otherwise, lots of us have done the alone with a baby/toddler thing and will happily share strategies or ideas and listen to you vent.
Don't lock yourself into doing one thing or the other until you know how you feel. Feeling like we've 'failed' is all too common a part of parenting in the early days and I think that can come from setting expectations of ourselves when we don't fully know the landscape.
I also think everyone on this thread has tried to be constructive. You only need to look at some of the other SOS threads to see how well behaved everyone has been :-)
Good luck with it all.
06-04-2015 21:05 #73
06-04-2015 21:09 #74
I know that generally SOS isn't used on a 2 week old. But I look at my son and see how he relies on me. I guess it's a philosophical thing where some of us are never going to agree. But parent centred parenting of under 2 or 3 just doesn't sit right with me. Maybe I'm naive but my 6 month olds never deliberately vomited or soiled themselves to manipulate me (I say 6 mo bc that's the age TH advocates SOS). I argue babies this age do so bc they are distressed.
Children aren't a fashion accessory. You can't just turn them off and put their needs on the back burner. I'm not saying anyone is this thread feels that way, but reading the TH FB page, I just feel like we've become a society where kids are just someone we have that should never impact our lives but rather fit around us all the time.
06-04-2015 21:11 #75-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
06-04-2015 21:12 #76
06-04-2015 21:14 #77
06-04-2015 21:14 #78
06-04-2015 21:17 #79
I will say that in my case, both my babies have had fairly clear cues, especially DS (you can read him like a book!), so that makes things easier.
If SOS sounds good to you then don't go looking for other people's opinions on it. Have your bub, give it a crack, if it works that's great. If not, pop it back on the shelf and try something else. Every baby is different, every parent interprets and implements advice differently, so just see what works best for you.
06-04-2015 21:28 #80
Heplusme, I totally get the wanting to be prepared, I do. But what I think many of us are trying to say, from experience, is that setting yourself into one technique from day dot could potentially lead to you feeling really, really **** about yourself which isn't good for you or baby because these routines do not always work for every baby. I'm a routine person and I live in a country away from any close friends or family with a husband that works very long hours. The best advice I can give is to be open to many styles and advice and take all of your favorite pieces until you have your personal mom-style. There are a lot of great parenting books out there, some by people who have actually researched and studied infant/child development extensively. I've found taking bits of a couple authors' routines combined with books like The Wonder Weeks and other great baby sleep websites really helpful in helping me establish the type of parent I want to be and I feel is best for DS.
By Kea23 in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 32Last Post: 06-06-2016, 19:45
By Cue in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 20Last Post: 07-10-2014, 20:19
By SAgirl in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 353Last Post: 23-04-2014, 21:31
Pea Pods Reusable NappiesPea Pods are the smart choice when it comes to choosing what's best for you, your baby and the environment. Affordable ...
LATEST5 ideas for the perfect baby shower giftSurrogacy and why many parents break the lawHow to get your kids to bring home empty lunch boxes
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Location of kicks at 18weeksSecond Trimester Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
Lower back pain! Help!!General Chat
What is the best holiday you have ever had?General Chat
Private health insurance vs extrasPrivate Health Insurance Discussion
Bullying recoveryWorking Hubbers - Employed
Would you help your kids with?General Chat
IVF Babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017 #2pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF/FET April & May chatConception & Fertility General Chat