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08-04-2015 08:44 #161
Last edited by BigRedV; 08-04-2015 at 08:47.
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08-04-2015 09:02 #162
I tried SOS with DS but I wish I hadn't. He never really fell into the routine and it was always a struggle. Made me feel like a complete failure because the issue I had basically said that barring anything medical, your baby should easily fall into the routine nicely. I became really stressed and anxious about his sleep. Now that I look back, he was a pretty easy baby that just never slept through.
I will look into some other books this time but will only take info on that I need and i'll take a more laid back approach.
08-04-2015 09:12 #163
Save Our Sleep
I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!
08-04-2015 09:58 #164
So any time we ever took them out at night they would always end up screaming and we have to go home as they were clearly in need of sleep elsewhere and were becoming disruptive of wherever we were.
I guess that's the scenario I'm keen to hear how no-schedule people cope.
08-04-2015 10:18 #165
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08-04-2015 10:22 #166
Maybe cos my girls have only ever fallen asleep in my arms or fed to sleep or patted to sleep. From the time they were born they've had someone be with them to sleep. So I guess in their minds their 'comforting' factor is me/hubby/nanna etc. and as this need is met they sleep. I honestly don't know if it's because they've always been brought up this way. My eldest is 4.5yo and she napped on my lap at church on good Friday mid song. And snored rather loudly much to my dismay.
I honestly don't know A-Squared what makes kids tick whether it's nature or nuture. I'm a pretty relaxed and confident in my parenting style. Maybe it's my cultural background that enables me to be this way. Tho I worry about dh sometimes as he gets lots of flack from his folks for the way we bring up our kids. His family parents the complete opposite to us and it gets difficult when we visit.
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08-04-2015 10:35 #167
It wasn't 3 years of 'no sleep' just no full nights sleep and TBH once I gave up on the expectation that he 'should be sleeping through' it got easier, though still hard at times.
08-04-2015 10:43 #168
Thing is, I've always been with mine too feeding, rocking, pat shushing - despite me often sticking up for SOS and other 'non-gentle' methods.
I'm running out of the mental steam (and arm strength) to continue with these gentle methods but I have a reflux, feeding issue bub and SOS won't work, nor will CC and even pat shush.
What's a mum to do though when these gentle methods are no longer viable - with respect to my mental and physical welbeing and my ability to give DD the attention she needs?
OP there are soooooo many variables and no right and wrong, but start with SOS if you feel it's working stick with it, if not call on VicPark or other SOS successful users for advice on making it work for you or even look into other methods as you go along.
08-04-2015 10:58 #169
I don't know if it's a western thing, maybe an Aussie Anglo thing?
My husband is Irish and in Ireland, kids don't go to bed until late. Even at the Easter show the other day, my MIL was shocked at how packed it was at 9am. She said if there was an event like that in Ireland, it wouldn't even open until 2pm because people just don't get up at that time of the day. I also see a lot of kids at my work who are up until 10pm and it definitely impacts their education. There was a study done that found Australian children do not get the recommended hours of sleep they require.
My kids fell into a routine themselves. And that meant they went to bed between 6:30-7:30. We don't have family around so maybe it was a bit selfish of me to enjoy my kids going to bed early as that is the only time my husband and I get for just us. When our kids are awake, we are always doing stuff with them. I don't sit and watch daytime tv or the news when my kids are up. So when they go to bed, it's my time. This is why we have a rule that once the kitchen is clean, we don't do chores at night unless absolutely necessary. I have a weekly cleaner so that helps.
I don't have a problem with rocking, patting to sleep etc. but both my girls enjoyed going to sleep on their own in their own space from newborns. My son wouldn't sleep unless in our bed, so he was with us until 3 months.
08-04-2015 11:02 #170
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