If you want a practical book I found Baby Love to be full of useful information rather than a book that endorses a particular parenting approach.
Best tips for first time mothers:
- If you're planning on breastfeeding get prepared as for many women it is overwhelmingly difficult. In saying that, once established boobs are great when you're breastfeeding your baby as it solves just about all issues - feed to sleep, feed to feed, feed to comfort, feed if they are sick. Presto, content baby! (Exceptions may apply.) Best advice I got for establishing breastfeeding was to feed them at every squeak. Feeding lying down and bedsharing saved my sanity and got some sleep.
- Keep visitors at arms length and make their visits short.
- You will most likely be terrified when you bring baby home but adrenalin will kick in. Sleep deprivation happens when the adrenalin wears off.
- Have ready meals prepared in the freezer and stuff to watch on DVDs so the nights don't get too lonely.
- Ask any and all questions on here, don't worry if you think they are stupid. We've all been there. If anyone gets narky at you they are a twit and someone will point that out to them.
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07-04-2015 18:14 #131
07-04-2015 18:18 #132
Save Our Sleep
I think people on this thread are not trying to make out that sos followers are evil but to give the op another perspective on maybe why it didn't work out for them or why it wasn't helpful.
OP this book and its methods will usually attract a variety of viewpoints, so in the end after you can consider any advice you want to, or any that is helpful to you and do what feels right for your baby when they arrive.
Last edited by Clementine Grace; 07-04-2015 at 18:30.
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07-04-2015 18:33 #133
Save Our Sleep
If you remember I flagged way back at the start of this thread that it's an emotive topic. You have just asked for all opinions so people are giving them.
Holly was sensing that perhaps you actually really only want to hear from people who are pro/have used SOS successfully, and this is why she suggested the other section. It sends a clear signal about who you want to hear from and what kind of conversation you want to have. I don't think people would debate it in a different section, and if they do it's often because they haven't seen which section it is in and will most probably excuse themselves. She also offered lots of candid and personal advice.
I'm sorry that you aren't getting the kind of responses you were anticipating - however I do think part of that is because the book can clearly be interpreted in a variety of ways, and there are different editions which adds to the confusion.
To me, it's highly relevant to mention details such as that it is not endorsed by SIDS and kids (or the organisation in the link provided by Delirium) and for those with a different understanding to respond to this. Lots of people read these threads and it is information for others as well - this is why people ask for links, or clarifications etc., not to be intentionally confusing.
Everyone in this thread has been trying to share knowledge and opinions, which is what you asked for :-)
Last edited by harvs; 07-04-2015 at 18:37.
07-04-2015 18:53 #134
I clearly stated i have no experience. I obviously read the new edition given my confusion. I did not read anywhere anything about leaving your baby in poo, and alot of the other issues people started arguing about which is why i was confused/frustrated. It truely made me wonder how many people dismiss SOS without reading it, given i finished it yesterday and it was fresh in my mind (had no idea about old editions, previous threads or uproars etc). This is why i questioned things. I was genuinely asking.
25 years ago my Mum put a hot water bottle in my cot. 40 years ago my MIL raised my BIL on carnation milk. Things change and pages and pages of arguing over who said what in the past doesnt help.
I wanted advice on sleeping and settling solutions, which is exactly where i posted it.
So now im going to be a hopeless Mum and unkind too. I seriously feel like i cannot win.
07-04-2015 18:59 #135
Save Our Sleep
Ok. I interpreted it that the last part was too. My bad. Also I didn't say *you* were unkind, just that I thought it was unkind to ask her to leave when she'd given a lot of energy to try and help you, so I'm sorry if it came across that way.
I can tell you're feeling overwhelmed and also that you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself/feeling a lot of pressure as you'll be on your own so much, so I can understand that contradictory information would be doing your head in.
Speaking for myself, everything I've written on here has been from the point of view that information/knowledge is power. I also feel very strongly that everyone posting here is trying to be supportive and I wasn't sure that was coming across to you, which is why I laboured that pojnt. We are all on your side and many of us have been where you are now.
There is no way you'll be a hopeless mum. That's clear. Anyway, I'll step away from this thread now because I'm honestly not trying to upset you and I seem to be succeeding at doing so despite my best efforts!
Everything I said earlier was genuine - listen to your gut and your heart and you can't go wrong. Trust your instincts x
07-04-2015 19:19 #136
07-04-2015 19:23 #137
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Little Miss Sunshine (08-04-2015)
07-04-2015 19:29 #138Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I just want to add that before I had my first baby I thought I would follow sos easily. Turns out the reality was different for me and what I found useful was the book Baby Love which has already been mentioned.
Also, it really depends on the type of person you are as to what will work for you with your baby and noone in a forum is going to be able to answer that for you. Just keep asking questions and you will find answers that are helpful for you (among others that may not be)
07-04-2015 19:43 #139
I was in a similar position to you OP before my baby came. No experience with kids, no family nearby, no friends with children.
Didn't read a book apart. Got to mothers group and I hear the words 'routine' being floated about. Cue anxious panic from me thinking I had broken my 6 week old because she wasn't in a routine and self settling yet. Bought all the books and then tried to implement some of the routines. And promptly failed because my DD hadn't. And I couldn't listen to her cry, stay at home for all naps watching the clock. I started going down that route and I ended up anxious about her napping/sleeping which of course she picked up on. With my second, I am much more go with the flow and while his sleeping isn't much better, I feel much more positive about parenting.
So I get where you are starting at. And I just wanted to second/third the advice here was to follow your instincts and what works for you and your bub. If that's a strict routine like SOS, that's great. If it's a more child led approach, that is fine too.
You are going to do a great job - good luck.
07-04-2015 20:04 #140
@heplusme I just want to chime in quickly after seeing your post that you're confused more than ever. My 3rd baby is 7 months old so I feel like the newborn/early baby stage is fresh in my mind. I found the 'wonder weeks' app really helpful. I did not know about it for my other 2 kids.
I guess it comes from the perspective of your baby having sunny or stormy periods based on developmental leaps. It helps explain why some days your baby is content and other days when things go to sh*t. It has nothing to do with routines but a great info source.
I know you asked about Tizzie specifically and I did look at her method before my first baby came along, but it wasn't for me. Don't stress if you don't have a routine in mind when bubs arrives - it will fall in to place
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