Fudge... to be honest I still don't believe it myself. I'm now 26 weeks (as of Thurs), and still catch myself looking at my baby belly and shake my head and say, there's not a baby there, I've just grown fat. Unbelievably I do this relatively often - I just can't come to terms that there's a baby in there - yes, I have had plenty of scans etc, even had a heartbeat one yesterday while having my Intrallipids. What's kind of happened is that here I am at 26 weeks, still sort of in denial, and I have very few baby things in place, even though normally I'm the most organised, list-writing person. I never thought I would be like this with a baby, but three years of hard IVF has obviously taken it's toil. This weekend is report writing and next weekend is DH's birthday, so my plan is action stations after that!! She'd better not come early, is all I say!!
Fudge, I'm glad I can be of some inspiration to you - yes, if any case says to keep persevering, then it's probably mine. I do so feel for you, and remind myself of how lucky I got in the end xx
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23-05-2015 12:34 #761Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
23-05-2015 14:27 #762
@leyshoja age envy. .i know that feeling. I see posts on bh with ladies talking about how they are running out of time at 36 and think phhtt whatever! Lol what i would give to be 36 doing this! DH and i are going well, the DSDs are still at their grandparents and going through extensive counseling before they are allowed back. Their counselor wants them to be on the right track before they come home. She has said they are incredibly entitled, suffering from "princess syndrome" fluctuating with "i am a victim and you are my evil step mother". She said until they get that out of their heads they are not allowed back and she has told them as much. DH has been wonderful but it has taken some hard home truths from an outside source for him to see how bad their behaviour has been. He is great now though.
As for the next cycle. ..we have 3x2d embryos on ice. They are going to thaw them on Monday and try to grow them out to 5 days. We will see what we have at the end of next week and reassess then. Fingers crossed that at least one of them makes it.
Woo hoo for SA. Can't wait to hear the updates.
@MGCBertie i am so stoked for you! I can imagine how hesitant you are you buy things. It must seem quite surreal right now. Hopefully she will hang on as long as possible and give you a continued good pregnancy.
How did you friends, family, work colleagues etc take your news? Were they aware of everything you went through to get there?
I have noticed that this time around with my m/c i am now starting to get negative comments from people who were previously supporters. Things like why are you doing this? Are you sure you want to keep on going? It seems so hard, it shouldn't be this hard. And my all time favourite "just be happy with the family you have" meaning my awesome DSDs who should make me feel totally fulfilled as a mother! What the? Has anyone else experienced this? Do you keep telling people that you are going through a cycle or do you just stop talking about it?
23-05-2015 16:20 #763
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23-05-2015 18:38 #764Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Fudge it's totally understandable why you keep going.
Look at me, I'm the crazy one. I know as hard as the miscarriages is at least you can still get pregnant, we just need one to stick now. Keep going luv, I'm here cheering you on. It's your right to have a baby.
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23-05-2015 20:28 #765
Fudge, no I don't get people questioning my decision to continue as much as I actually question it myself. I have a lot of naively confident people around me who seem not to have given up when I have. Anyway, it's your decision, not theirs. Glad to hear it's great between you and DH.
MGC Bertie, congratulations on reaching 26 weeks. I hope it continues to go smoothly.
24-05-2015 10:10 #766
Fudge I'm glad things with DH are better, especially that he is supporting you with the behaviour of his dd's.
I stopped talking to most friends about ivf after the 3rd cycle. It was just too hard to tell them that another one had failed. The thing that gets me, is even nurses and midwives (I play netball with a bunch of them) keep telling me that I just need a holiday, as soon as I relax it'll happen - gosh darn it all do you not think I've tried that? I have only told a cpl of close girlfriends about de. The other (if they ask), including family are just being told we are doing a transfer and then having a holiday in Hawaii.
Congrats MGC Bertie, I'm so glad things are still going well xxx
24-05-2015 11:49 #767
@Fudge09 So good to hear from you Luv and I'm glad that you and DH are in a much better place with each other and the DSD situation. Their counsellor sounds like she/he's right on the ball with them and can see exactly what's happening and why. It's good they're not allowed to come back until they've worked through their issues
your frosties make it until Day 5 Luv. Will you transfer if they do?? At least you'll know to an extent what you're dealing with if they do/don't. I'm sorry that people aren't being as supportive towards you now as they have been in the past
Perhaps they're trying to be kind in a twisted sort of a way by saying those things because they've seen what you've been through with Angel baby Lewis and the other Cycles too and the heartbreak and pain it's caused you and they don't want to see you go through it anymore IYKWIM??
Mind you, that's no excuse for saying what they've said and there are a lot better ways to express that they care about you and don't want to see you hurting anymore etc. I also agree with @Skyler that the decision is yours and DH's and @leyshoja is right that step children in no way is ever going to be the same as having a child of your own no matter how much you love them. It's just the way it is.
For me personally, after our first Cycle, I told no frucker nothing except for one of my BFF's and my older sister who was helping us out with various things and only because she had to know!!! I found it easier keeping things to myself/ourselves as I really didn't want to talk to anyone about it especially after getting a BFN.
Hello to all the other Lovelies.....
Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 24-05-2015 at 11:55.
24-05-2015 22:13 #768
Hi, sorry I haven't been around for a while, I needed a bit of a break and have a lot of catching up to do.
I'm with BiB and Chiefsgirl - I don't tell anyone about it now, it just seems to bring out the thoughtless or downright stupid in people. I stopped talking about it 2 years ago due to frankly dumb comments like "well are you doing it in the same way/right time as before?" (I don't know any other way you can DTD when you're trying for a kid) Also the standard "what's wrong with you?" (Actually it's MFI....) or "if you hadn't had that c-section then you might have been able to have another one (no choice in the matter, baby got stuck and was in distress)
I know isolating myself from all but a few close friends isn't so healthy, but I can't stand the outright stupid any more.
Fudge, you keep going, we are cheering you on. You need to feel comfortable looking in the mirror when you're 60 that you did everything you could possibly do to make your dream come true.
Wishing Chiefs, leyshoja, emski and anyone else with upcoming cycles all the best! Hawaii is a lovely place for a holiday, especially Maui, Kauai and the Big Island, we've had some wonderful holidays there.
I'm going in for a FET tomorrow, cycle no 12 (but TBH I'm already planning on what wine/sushi/salami I'm going to have and what gym classes/bootcamps I'm going to be doing in a couple of weeks.)
Best wishes to Bertie and anyone else I've missed, I've got a lot of catching up to do.
24-05-2015 22:24 #769
Hi Springy! Good luck for your FET love...will be watching and cheering xx
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25-05-2015 10:10 #770
Hi Spring Rain, I followed the CGH thread a while back but never posted and I remember you. Good to see you're still at it. So are you transferring a known normal this time or one of the unknowns?
I just had a gut wrenching cycle transferring an unknown. Wishing you a sticky one either way!
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