That is really horrible behavior for people who are actually adults and can't use the excuse that they're still teenagers. They're the ones being spiteful, not you. I don't know if it's easier said than done but if it was my husband and I, we just wouldn't bother with them anymore. They can't even hide behind the excuse of being flaky or something like that. They are just immature and mean. We've lost a few friends after losing our daughter, some of the friendships just dwindled after they may no effort to reach out to us and a couple I consciously rid myself of after some unthoughtful behavior. That said, that particular couple I have 'let' back in the past year (ie Facebook friends). Sorry I'm kind of rambling.... I guess I'm trying to say that I think it's really normal for friendships to die through one party going through grief but then grief causes other friendships to blossom. It sucks sometimes but I think in this case you may feel better if you actually let this these friendships dwindle right now, it will save you a lot of anger and hurt and you can put that energy towards more positive parts of your life and will probably find that there's other people in your life that are much more positive influences and enjoyable to be around.
Be gentle to yourselves this week and know so many of us think of you and Angus. X
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05-04-2015 09:49 #11
The Following User Says Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:
05-04-2015 09:59 #12
Oh Ally, heartfelt hugs to you and your husband, how hurtful of them to be so freaking insensitive at this time. I remember so clearly when you lost him.
Wishing you strength for this time and I know you will be honouring your sons life in ways that are special to you both xxxxxxx
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05-04-2015 10:07 #13
I'm so sorry to hear your friends are doing this It's so low
Happy Birthday to Angus xx
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05-04-2015 10:44 #14
I'm really sorry. I'm the same as you - I like to be prepared and organised and wouldn't be keen to go somewhere without a confirmed spot.
I'm also terribly upset for you and your dp that when you really need them your friends and absent and seem to be having a great time without caring about your needs.
The Following User Says Thank You to Qwerty For This Useful Post:
05-04-2015 11:18 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Sadly, Ally, my guess is that your friends just don't "get it". They probably think you should be over it. They want to go and have fun and not have to think about a baby lost.
Unfortunately, for those of us who have lost a little one, we don't have that luxury. It is something that is with us always. We have to honour what is right for us and the memories of our babies. Anniversaries and birthdays are significant occasions. If your friends can't be bothered to remember; if they can't be bothered to be there to support you and your husband, then I don't believe they are very good friends and really aren't worth your time and energy.
Sending peace and kindness to you and your husband as Angus' birthday approaches.
05-04-2015 11:19 #16
Remembering your baby boy, Ally
Sometimes I find people get so caught up in their own worlds and forget to look outwards. Hope your friends come around and remember that you need their friendship and support through this and that the grief will never go away.
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05-04-2015 11:33 #17
I'm so sorry your friends are being so cruel.
The Following User Says Thank You to waterlily For This Useful Post:
05-04-2015 11:42 #18
Happy birthday for tomorrow Angus.
So they were snapchatting? I don't really know how that works, but are they deliberately sending it to you knowing you will see it?
Even if this wasn't a hard weekend for you it would take a lot for me to forgive them. It's plain and simple rude. I would cut them out and try and find your hubby some new friends.
The Following User Says Thank You to Wise Enough For This Useful Post:
05-04-2015 12:59 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
Happy Birthday for Angus tomorrow Ally. Some people can be real d0uchebags. Unfortunately they will never see it unless/until something happens to them. Selfish and self centred or just not thinking - either way, pretty poor form on their part.
The Following User Says Thank You to KitiK For This Useful Post:
05-04-2015 13:54 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I would have snapchatted replied with a big middle finger! What insensitive human beings.
Happy Birthday darling little man Angus xx
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