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  1. #1
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    Default From two to three, the reality?

    dp and I are considering having a second child together. We have a blended family, I have a dd from a previous relationship, he has a ds from a previous relationship and we have a child together,ds, so we have three children in total, dss only comes
    To us on weekends and holidays. Those who have three children would you consider the jump from 1-2 harder or 2-3? I am worried I wouldn't be able to cope with three children. My second child had really bad reflux and I also have suffered pnd after both children, worse with my son due to my grandfather being sick and needing palliation at home while ds was 7 weeks old and in general the reflux was terrible, I was so so so tired from everything going on I lost the plot.I also like the idea of life in general being easier without anymore babies, the baby is 18 months now and getting to the easier stages. I am so conflicted because I can't shake this desire to have another child but I also am really tired all the time from the ones I have, they all fight like cat and dog and that makes me crazy haha. Dp wants another as well so it seems logical to have another but that makes four children. If we only had 2 children between us I wouldn't even hesitate but four seems so scary. Sorry about the rambling I'm just so confused.

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    I found going from 1-2 way harder than 2-3 but that's because my third was the easiest baby ever. She slept, fed, slept and just slotted in so well. If she was like my second baby, I would've found it hard. Personally, I think it depends mostly on the baby.

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    I only have two so I'm not much help (I know 3 would tip me over the edge..)

    I just wanted to ask about your DP... Is he supportive? Was he kind to you when you suffered PND? Does he roll his sleeves up and help out with the kids?

    3 would probably be harder but if you really want a third go for it.. As long as your DP will help you out.

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    2-3 is way harder than 1-2. But I agree it depends on the baby as well.as the age gaps. DS3 is clingy and a terrible sleeper & I have an 18 mth gap between the bottom 2 so I'm in struggle town!

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    Dp is an amazing help, he is very understanding and really helped during that time, it did put a lot of strain on our relationship at the time but like all relationships we've moved forward from that. I find the weekends quite busy with the 3 kids but nothing too overwhelming, dd was an easy baby in hindsight, ds was a nightmare, I also hd a lot of stress with bf him and ended up stopping because his reflux caused round the clock screaming and fussing and I felt that I couldn't cope with that and looking after my dd. It's such a hard decision to make when I can't preview what the baby would be like

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    Thanks for everyone's input, we have decided that what we have is definitely enough, I think I'd go crazy if I had another one, my oldest is very high maintenance with behavioural issues and dss has adhd and is quite full on as well, I love babies but I'll just wait til I have grandkids

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I found going from 1-2 way harder than 2-3.
    This is the same for me so far!

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    I'm due with my third in October. Will have a 3&5 yo by then. Should be interesting

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    I have three and found 2-3 easier than 1 - 2. Because the two eldest had each other there was no jealousy and it took the pressure off me, esp when feeding etc. Having said that, now that #3 is moving into toddlerhood, it is harder! She is into absolutely everything haha! Its super cute but challenge to be productive in any way!

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    3 year gap between all 3 here. I found going from 2-3 really easy. The older 2 are so independant, they are at school and always happy to help, they play awesome together and are great with their baby brother.


 

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