It's been3 years since I spoke to my mother when she fell into a psychosis 5 years ago she turned on me and I couldn't deal with her anymore she wouldn't get help and it was unhealthy and it's better for me. I do miss her and I love her deep down but I love myself more and I don't regret my decision at all.
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20-05-2015 21:10 #11
21-05-2015 11:16 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
Thanks for sharing your story. We haven't spoken since I posted this thread and surprisingly I haven't missed her. My life is much more relaxed and positive without her in it.
21-05-2015 11:53 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
- Northern Beaches
Thinking off you - it's a very hard thing to do.
I made this choice about 4 years ago and don't regret it save that I now have lost contact with my dad.
It was when I started ivf that I too began thinking that i just couldn't have her around any have child of mine - the passive aggressive behaviour was incredible. I am now just focusing on not inadvertently becoming the same - this crazy behaviour was completely normal to me growing up. Hopefully with the distance I now have I can move on and not become the same
Take it easy on yourself
21-05-2015 12:40 #14
I'm not in the same situation but I find it interesting to hear others stories. My mother always had a turbulent relationship with her sister and went through years of on and off contact but usually would make up for the sake of my grandmother. Well about 3 years ago my mum had a huge fall out with my grandmother and my grandmother cut my mum out of her life. (Issues stemming from her sister etc etc) My mum tried to make contact and make amends but she wanted none of it and was making all sorts of crazy stories up about what had happened and how she couldn't forgive my mum.
Obviously my mum was devastated as she suffers a bit from depression and me and my sister have found it very hard to know how to help her. Initially we were trying to be understanding but it soon got to the point where every conversation was "poor me, I've had such a bad childhood, look what my mum has done". I think she just assumes everyone has an amazing relationship with their mother and she's the only one to have ever gone through this. Is this something you guys have felt or have you come to accept other people have been in similar situations? How have your close family been able to help you accept things?
I think things are finally over now as my grandmother passed away about 3 weeks ago so I think now my mum can at least accept that things can never change and there is nothing that can be done. It was so strange when I heard she died though as I literally felt nothing. It was as if a neighbours grandmother had died, I didn't feel upset at all. I guess it's hard to miss someone when you havnt seen them for years and know you won't again.
21-05-2015 15:58 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
Sounds like your grandmother was holding a grudge. To me this is not about anger, it's about realizing that some relationships are toxic and being blood doesn't necessarily mean you should be a part of each others lives. I wouldn't tolerate that behaviour from anyone else, so I'm certainly not going to do it for my mother. Someone who should be a positive, loving guidance in my life.
In time I may invite her back into my life, but for now I don't want that negativity or stress burdening my pregnancy.
24-05-2015 09:18 #16
My half sisters have done the same thing with their mum. She's a psychotic s.Lut ( she dried coming onto my half sisters husband).
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