This topic came up with a couple of friends tonight. One couple conceived through ivf and the other after 2 years trying. Both said yeah they would have adopted if things wouldn't have worked out. My husband felt it necessary to mention that we were trying atm which I did not want him to tell anyone. He added that he would never consider adoption. Well he has two teenage kids so why would he? But what about me? Not saying that we need to adopt as we have not tried for long but i am gobsmacked that If I wouldn't conceive with my endo and PCO either naturally though ivf I couldn't have kids? I am very upset about this. I don't have any children and he tells me not to stress and generally I am ok but it feels like he just took away may back up security blanket option. I am really p*ssed. I don't care about adopting so long as I get to be a mother. He does not get that being a stepmother on school holidays to almost grown up kids isn't the same.
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20-03-2015 21:02 #1
Adoption as last resort
20-03-2015 21:28 #2
Hi Kitty, I'm sorry to hear. Hopefully it's just something he said without thinking about it too much. I know partners will often say things & not realise the way he said it may have hurt you. I know my DH in the past has said things to me when we were long term TTC (4 years all up) & didn't realise why I had become upset at him.
Hopefully if it came down to it later on & you decided that adoption was a good path to go down then he would be supportive. I was the same as you, I just wanted to be someone's mother & I didn't care how that happened. If the process for adoption was easier we would have pursued it instead of doing IVF, as there are so many children needing families.
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