I didn't grow up with extended family as we moved interstate when I was 7. I missed growing up without cousins, aunts and uncles etc around. Even now as an adult I try to come back for SA each year to spend time with the extended family. It's been made slightly harder now my parents have moved interstate and my sister, BIL and nephew are there too. It does become expensive with all the travel.
My sister and I were talking the other day and I think we're both on the same page. She doesn't want to come back to Bris and I don't want to go to where she is. If we both had the opportunity to move to Melbourne or Adelaide together, we probably would because we want our kids to grow up with each other. The bonus of Adelaide is that we have more family and my aunt has a DD the same age as my nephew (and they are so cute together).
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20-03-2015 11:55 #11
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20-03-2015 11:57 #12
I think it's important I gre up around extended family we had so much fun but my children only get to visit their cousins on the rare occasion and they miss them so much when we aren't there.
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20-03-2015 12:44 #13
I didn't have extended family around as a kid, and I really felt I was missing out. I found it sad that I only had three real ongoing relationships - my mum, my dad and my sister. Loved my friends and all, but they're not usually lifelong relationships.
Our kids will probably grow up with extended family. My sister, brother in law and niece live very close by. My MIL and SIL live about 10 minutes away (although they may move a few hours away soon), and my parents are about 40 minutes away. I LOVE watching DD with all these people who love her, it's wonderful. It really is the main thing keeping us in this city. I'd love to live elsewhere (as would DP), but hesitate to leave family.
I think what matters most though is what YOU think. As I say, I wish I'd had more family around growing up, but my parents made their own choices and I had a great childhood. If the city you live in is what's important to you and you're happy there, then I wouldn't be moving because other people think extended family's more important.
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20-03-2015 13:27 #14
How important is it for children to grow up around extended family
For me , it's important but as others have said I suppose it's what you are used to - we grew up with my grandparents living next door and my aunts/uncles/cousins all involved in our lives quite regularly, a couple of my aunts and uncles and cousins and I are still very close and I definitely want that for DS, especially as an only child , so I am blessed to have my parents in the same street and my sister and 2 SIL all living within a 5km radius of our house, we do family dinners on my side every week and on DH side every fortnight - I think it's important for DS to see his family regularly , we invite all the family to DS parties and my brother ( lives in melbourne) and my very close aunt and uncle ( live in QLD) always fly in for it as we do for their family celebrations - again we are lucky we all get on , DH does not see any of his aunts and cousins unless it's a funeral!
Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 20-03-2015 at 13:31.
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20-03-2015 13:44 #15
You don't necessarily have to move - could you have a yearly Xmas party or joint camping trip?
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20-03-2015 13:46 #16
[QUOTE=MAJS;8134834]Our primary school aged kids have been away from extended family since they were very young (As we live interstate). I often think they are missing out and feel we should move back where family are, mostly to give them extra support, experience and memories of their extended family.
We are currently very happy where we are living except for not having family around and not having a big circle of very close family-like friendships.
So my question is how important is it for children to have extended family around them growing up and how do you come to a decision that you can’t decide on despite doing pro’s and con’s list.
Ultimately I want what is best for the kids, but is extended family more important in their lives as opposed to a city with lower crime rate, good schools and lower unemployment rates etc?
Any thoughts advice would be appreciated, thanks
Absolutely chose the lower crime rate, lower unemployment, better schools over the extended family.
I grew up with extended family nearby but not really part of our lives. They were around, but we didn't do things together as extended family. Each family unit did their own thing. (Does that even make sense?!)
Anyway, I now live interstate from any family, just me and my girls, and seriously, I find I prefer it this way. We visited with them in November last year and had good quality time for about 10 days. Mum and dad fly up here a couple of times a year, and my brother is visiting us tomorrow as he's flying through here on holidays.
My kids know who they are, we talk about them, but they're not missing out on anything.
That's just my opinion..
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20-03-2015 14:06 #17
I grew up with no extended family, and i hate that i dont have that bond with anyone! No family BBQs or Christmases etc. Ive always thought it was really sad. But thats just me, and the grass is always greener!
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20-03-2015 14:27 #18
Ultimately I want what is best for the kids, but is extended family more important in their lives as opposed to a city with lower crime rate, good schools and lower unemployment rates [/QUOTE]
This paragraph above pretty much sums up why we live where we live as well as the beautiful surrounds we have and the fact the kids get to experience much that city kids don't. And to us these factors are more important than being close to family at this point in time. We do however visit the city every 3 months or so, so don't feel the kids are really missing out, it's not like they never see family and don't know them. The kids have a good relationship with their aunts, cousins and grandparents regardless of the distance.
Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 20-03-2015 at 14:29.
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20-03-2015 16:59 #19
I grew up about a 7 hour drive from all my extended family. We still had a great relationship with most of them. We travelled down for most Christmases, Easters and other special events. Our family also visited us during the year.
It was great to have this connection, but without living in each others pockets. I know people who went to the same school as their cousins, or would see their Aunt at the shops. I find that very weird.
Now we live a 2 hour flight away from our families. We get to see them quite often, so DD is building a good relationship with her cousins. While the family support closer would be nice, we like our own space and think our lifestyle choice is more important than living close (at this stage).
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20-03-2015 17:24 #20
For me extended family is important. For dh not as much. But then now as adults he barely knows his cousins and my cousins are like siblings. For me family always comes first.
I'd live in a crappy town if I had family there. We are moving to canberra in November instead of sydney as I have family there and none in Sydney.
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