No, not pushy at all! This is exactly what I need to hear from people who have been there and done that :-) Thank you.
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14-03-2015 12:42 #21
14-03-2015 12:47 #22
You didn't say how old you and your partner are.
If you're $15,000 ahead in your mortgage, take out $10k and travel now (it's summer in Europe and USA coming up) and TTC while you're away.
I have 2 kids now and haven't been on a holiday since having kids which is hard but not because I want to travel, but because I want a relaxing break/holiday but going on a holiday with my kids wouldn't be a break.
So I think perhaps too forget travel if you don't really have that desire and write a list of things you can no longer do (easily/enjoyably) once a mum and do those before TTC.
For me as well it doesn't matter at what age you have kids, your life will never be the same and some things will always be different for 18 years, so waiting just delays coming out the other side IYKWIM.
14-03-2015 12:55 #23
Unfortunately there is no way we could just jump off and go travel somewhere right now; there is no way we could both get time off work. I'm a teacher so my annual leave is the holidays, so we'd have to wait until the 2016 summer holidays if we did want to do a big trip, which would mean putting off TTC for a year or so...
And there's not many substantial vacations you can take in under 14 days (the length of the school holidays in the middle of the year!)
Lots to think about... Thanks everyone!
14-03-2015 13:46 #24
Can I just say - life doesn't stop when you have kids. We took our 18 month DD to Europe last year. Yes, it was a different kind of holiday, but it can be done! And we now have the best memories of her seeing the Eiffel Tower and London Bridge. We are planning another overseas trip later this year. It's very possible!
14-03-2015 14:01 #25
I did the travel thing. Like really did it. Lived in New York, shagged hot bartenders in Barcelona etc.
There isn't any bit of it that compares to how happy I am to have finally found DH.
TTC wasn't an option before my 30's because I was already in my 30's when I met DH but if we'd known each other sooner I'd definitely have gotten started TTC earlier.
Just regular TTC can take ages with no problems and if you add to that any fertility issues or a loss before you know it time starts looking a little slim.
I think, if you wanted to be a globetrotter you'd probably have done it already.
Sure book a little trip to Europe and see if you can make a baby while you're there. Very early pregnancy doesn't actually have a lot of symptoms till bout 6 or 7 weeks anyway.
Final thought, babies are pretty portable.
When I was 21 my best mate got pregnant (also 21) and everyone said she shouldn't keep it, she was so young, she'd never get to experience life blah blah.
Totally not true. She's not only travelled but moved countries several times, set up her own business and she has this cool kid who is in school now.
I don't buy the whole concept that once you have kids you'll never leave the house again. It's what you make it.
Then again as my little guys birthday gets closer I can think of nothing better than staying home with him all day but I'm sure we will throw in a few family trips for good measure.
14-03-2015 14:43 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
DH and I have both traveled extensively (separately) before we met at 32. I loved all my Travel experiences and definitely don't regret them.
However when we got married at 33 we started TTC and ran into some issues.
We were pretty quickly told that I (in particular) should have been TTC 'some 10 years prior' due to fertility issues.
I'd say if you are having difficulty deciding what to do first (because you can do both - kids are portable)
Maybe see your doctor/gyno and do some basic fertility testing (both you and DH) . At least then you will know where you stand ?
As a pp mentioned travel places will always be there but your fertility may not be..
14-03-2015 16:21 #27
I think it works both ways, depending on how life turns out for you.
For example -
DH and I met when we were 18 , married at 21, partied and enjoyed life but never traveled. We had DS at 23 and now I am 26 pregnant with #2. We have still never travelled, it is far too expensive for us at moment and the places I want to visit are almost unreachable with children (Europe and America) although I wish we had travelled when were 18-20, by 21 I was desperate to start having kids so I wouldn't have changed our decision.
However, it could have gone like this -
Travelled the world, waited until we were 30 to start trying. Couldn't get pregnant and spend years and years trying IVF, deeply regretting not trying while we were younger.
Personally I would think the second scenario would hurt more. I regret not travelling, but hey when our kids are 18 we will only be 40! They can look after all the pets and we can go travelling the world the world will always be there but having children is an experience like no other.
14-03-2015 17:47 #28
Haven't read any other replies but how young are you? There's a difference between 22 and 28yo
I would personally try and explore the world a bit further if that is something that appeals to you.
In my opinion this is one of the best thing one could do. Get out of your own back yard and discover how other people live. It's so enlightening.
We love traveling and while we still do now that we have a kid it is nowhere as close to the things we would do pre kids.
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14-03-2015 19:51 #29
There is nothing to stop you traveling with kids. Check out a travel blog called Travel with Bender. They are a young family traveling the world. Really interesting. They also have links to other family travel blogs.
To me it sounds like your yearning to start your family is greater than your wish to travel. You can travel after the kids have left home. You may well appreciate it more then. Also as an ex IVFer I wish I had known in my 20s how hard it can be to get pregnant. If I could go back I would have found my husband earlier and had a family.
Another option since you are a teacher is to do an exchange. I have teachers friends who have fine year exchanges in England and Canada. That would be a great family experience.
Good luck with your decision. Only you and your husband can make it. Forget what society says. Do what you want!
14-03-2015 20:12 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
My husband and I were very fortunate that we both travelled (prior to getting together and continued whilst we were together). I really think it helped me mature and grow as a person, I am so thankful that I had those experiences. It truly depends on what YOU want. There is no 'right' way and it doesn't matter what society thinks. I have plenty of friends who had no desire to travel and were quite happy to settle down young. They now have established families with multiple children, while we are just getting started. Do what works for you and your husband, don't let anyone influence your decision.
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