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  1. #1
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    Default Advice regarding daughter's behaviour please

    Hello all, I’m new to this forum and I would really value some advice from other parents.
    The main problem at the moment is that my Daughter ( who is 7) is getting increasingly very frustrated when she is having to explain things in general conversation or when answering questions that require conversation on her behalf. It is clear that she is struggling to find the words a lot of the time, and she finds it very hard to comprehend (even though spoken in basic terms) She walks off frustrated that she didn't understand you or couldn't explain something and then wont let you continue to talk with her.
    Her frustration seems to be getting worse as she gets older.
    She has always been extremely sensitive to clothing - every single piece - hence wanting to wear the same 2 sets of clothes every day and getting dressed for school is always difficult for her.
    Every day she complains that everyone around her annoys her at school. She has never made a connection with a friend for a long period of time because they usually end up annoying her! (things that most kids would just brush off)

    She has never liked any of the teachers she has had with the exception of Pre School and her current teacher so far.

    The teachers have noticed that she displays some anxiety at times in class. She does talk often about not wanting to go to school. Some days it is clear where she wont want to leave me, however she is never anxious when we are out on family outings etc.

    She is always bored at home even though we come up with many suggestions for her they never seem to please her. She has never been into hobbies. She does enjoy bike rides and walks to the park.

    She is involved with dance, swimming and gymnastics after school.

    Her hearing is good, her eyesight is good, her recent blood work was perfect, She reads and writes well, though her grades are average.
    We spend a lot of time with her, she gets one on one time with both Mum and Dad and have many opportunities to talk and open up to us, yet she doesn’t even seem to know why she feels this way and make up small reasons for the behaviour.
    We have tried a lot of different things, but nothing seems to be helping her. I will be making a doctor’s appointment regarding these issues, but I would really appreciate any advice if anyone else has experienced similar things or has any ideas. I feel this is not something she is going to grow out of regardless of what we do at this point.
    Thank you in advance
    Majs

  2. #2
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    Just a thought but maybe she is being bullied at school?

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    MAJS  (13-03-2015)

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    Could she have a sensory processing disorder, making some of her senses overly sensitive? There are some women on this forum with experience in that.

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    MAJS  (13-03-2015)

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    Sounds like sensory processing to me also. Maybe ASD also might be worth mentioning? Have the teachers suggested this to you as they are normally pretty good at spotting this?

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    MAJS  (13-03-2015)

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    Thank you for your replies, I appreciate it.

    She's not being bullied by anyone, but she gets very irritated by pretty much everyone around her over the smallest things that most kids would just brush off or get over (which she doesn't) so I guess in a way she may feel like she is being bullied. I do a lot with regards to those issues with her at home. We chat every day after school or of an evening and talk about these things and how to deal with them, hopefully it will pay off eventually.

    It did cross my mind about it being a sensory disorder but felt it may be of good value to get other peoples opinion as to what it may be. It's quite possible that it is affecting her socially as well therefore may look a bit like asd. Would be great to get into her head for a while to know for sure what is going on!

    The teachers haven't mentioned anything other than her feeling anxious at times but I imagine she would be putting up with things in class until she gets home and then lets off steam.

    I have made a doctors appointment for her and see what she can suggest as a starting point.

    Thanks again

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    hi majs, welcome to bubhub. I wonder have you considered anxiety? how does she handle all the outside activities. and the other children involved with those occasions. what is the situation when she is at her " best' ? and can you see any clear differences. what makes her happy? does she have any siblings. ?? sorry not much help but lots of questions. marie.

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    I would recommend a speech therapy assessment. If she is having issues with her receptive or expressive language this can make her very frustrated. Perhaps some work in this area will help her.

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    MAJS  (13-03-2015)

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    My first thought is ASD.

    Also, could she just be unfocused, in relation to conversation and schoolwork?

    DSD has awful concentration and won't (oh, it's not can't, it's won't) focus for more than 10 minutes at a time.
    As such, she gets frustrated during conversations (because at some point she has drifted out, so loses part of the chat, and then can't understand what we are saying) and her school/home work suffers (we know she can do it).
    We encourage her to ask us to stop and go back if she gets confused- trying to make her see where she has lost the conversation. She does sometimes, but mostly just huffs and walks off.

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    MAJS  (13-03-2015)

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    Thank you for your reply Marie
    Yes I have wondered whether her being anxious is creating the sensitivities. She has never liked sport for fear of being pushed or falling over and grazing her knee - she has a huge fear of blood and hates the colour red! She will not wear, eat or have anything to do with red. She often refused to participate in any type of sporting during class but I also feel not fully understanding rules may have contributed. However she likes to go to the fixed equipment to play on the monkey bars. Other outdoor activities with Mum and Dad she shows no anxiety at all.
    She is usually at her best and happiest when out at a café getting a milkshake or buying soft toys! Swimming (Once she has gotten over the bathers being uncomfortable) or when she goes for a walk or ride to the park. Although there is always something that she will find that upsets her on those outings...Swings/shoes/bike - always something. Even those few things she loves to do the most are slowly fading into boredom for her. I could come up with countless fun activities to do at home with me or dad but none of them interest her at all. She gets bored very quickly. I've tried different hobbies like stamps, rock collecting etc but of no interest to her.
    She has a brother 2 yrs older - she wants his full attention when they are both home, and of course he has hobbies that he loves and wants time to do those. They get along most of the time but she doesn't like it when he is doing his own thing. She likes to control what he does most of the time and is usually on her terms only.

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    Thank you dt75 & Barnaby

    Yeah they are both quite possible. I wonder if the sensory thing makes her not focus well. She definitely switches off very easily and her attention wonders to other things and I have to repeat myself often. But she also doesn't comprehend whn she has my full attention. Does feel like a bit of comprehension and focus at different times.

    I will look into the speech. I'll have a chat with her teacher in length as well.


 

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