If DS says that "dinner is gross" our usual response is "when you cook dinner- than you can choose what's for dinner- in the mean time, sit down and eat".
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12-03-2015 06:32 #21
12-03-2015 06:38 #22Senior Member
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- Apr 2008
12-03-2015 06:47 #23
12-03-2015 06:56 #24
One of our children's filter doesn't cut in as much as the others either. He also finds it very hard to take social cues or hold a secret and he strongly holds onto patterns of behaviour moreso. He may be on the spectrum. There has been many awkward social moments with this one.
I truly miss people's honesty as they grow up.
12-03-2015 06:58 #25
Both my DD's, especially the oldest who is 6 always tells me my cooking is gross. I usually say in reply it's all there is so try and eat some you might be suprised.
I feel that kind of thing is just a kid thing. I don't believe she'd say it to anyone elses cooking apart from mine and her fathers so I guess it's ok.
I kniw I'm not a great cook either. I also don't like cooking, so I guess it shows.
All my kids are generally good as gold in front of other people. Just cheeky to their mum and dad.
12-03-2015 07:10 #26
The gross comment wouldn't faze me too much, I would just encourage a different way to state the opinion.
But saying I am just mum would crush me. I would be so upset and DF would have a few voice words for the children.
12-03-2015 07:21 #27
I think it's fine for kids to express themselves but it can be done politely. Our kids have really good manners and this wouldn't wash with me- if they really didn't like it I wouldn't force the issue- but I wouldn't allow them to speak to me or anyone rudely. What's wrong with "I'm sorry mum but I really don't like this, may I have something else?" Bad manners are a pet peeve of mine in kids- we've taught our lot that being polite is a way of showing a basic level of respect for other people (not just adults) Each family is different though, many place a much lesser value on such things.
12-03-2015 08:03 #28
I would possibly just start trying to reinforce the good behaviour and call everyone (including dp) out on the bad. There have been some good gentle suggestions above, or you can just be direct like me. I think kids pick up a lot of this stuff from school too, which makes it harder. My boys will always say "that's what joe bloggs says" and my standard response is "I am not joe's mother but I am yours and I won't have you saying stuff like that. You're better than that. My children are kind and polite and I'd like you to remember that."
12-03-2015 08:38 #29
I agree he is your biggest problem. Please start calling him out on his behaviour and sit him down and really talk out how you feel so disrespect by him. Ask him if he would like it if his daughter was treated the way and your kids treat you.
Can I ask does she speak to him like this too?
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12-03-2015 10:15 #30Senior Member
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- Aug 2010
My eldest is very honest (read:no filter, always embarrassingly so!). I would be offended and hurt by those comments. We discuss things we could say which are true (in the hopes of avoiding a potentially embarrassing situation in public haha). So, things that are positive like-I appreciate the effort you made cooking this meal, it looks very colourful/healthy, I like ingredient xyz...
We talk about being greatful for food, the time spent preparing a meal and also considering what would be healthy and yummy to eat. Pretty sure their eyes glaze over most of the time, but its totally going to sink in at some point right?!
If they are rude, like other pp's its a eat it or bed type arrangement. If they are polite they can make toast/yoghurt for themselves.
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