My DD always tells me the black and white truth about everything.
This tastes gross.
Your belly is big.
That shirts ugly.
She is almost 6!!! We are constantly trying to teach her it's not nice to say those types of things but she honestly just does not get it. She doesn't understand why telling the truth is bad or hurtful because it's the truth.
So if she told me my food was gross I'd just ignore it because I'm used to it. I know she truly doesn't mean to rude though.
It's something we are working on
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11-03-2015 21:10 #11
11-03-2015 21:35 #12
We take a pretty hard line with choosing words here. If one of our kids said dinner was gross it wouldn't be accepted. DH always goes down the: someone cooked it for you, you respect what they do for you road. Our kids are 8 and 5. The 5 year old is the one more likely to give attitude but it's never brushed off here. It's just how we roll. Our kids can speak to us honestly but not disrespectfully.
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11-03-2015 21:43 #13
My DS is 8 and DSS is 7. We come down on them hard if they complain about our cooking. We cook nice food and try to make what they like so we don't appreciate them nit-picking. It's mostly DSS who says stuff. He likes it enough to eat it but he'll whine about a small thing in a rude way. It comes across as ungrateful and it really annoys DP when he's spent time in the kitchen cooking for us and his 7 year old critiques him rudely.
11-03-2015 21:48 #14
My kids are very direct, very blunt, there is no filter, and they simply don't understand that kind of social politeness "but mummy, i was just telling the truth??"
Its a tough one.
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11-03-2015 21:49 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Are your children rude to you?
Agree with most pp - we say thank you every meal to the person who has cooked it. And I can tell if they don't like what either DH or I have cooked as they take a loooong time and say they are not hungry! I have to probe them now for details and then they can have all the salad and veggies they want or they can choose to go to bed.
BUT 3 years ago we had tears at almost every single meal. This is when DH and I first started living together and I refused to serve them 'single dad convenience meals'. They were rude and so often went to bed hungry as I would explain their behaviour hurt my feelings. It took time to work out their likes and dislikes but there is no way I would now be ok with being told my food is gross. They are welcome to say they don't like it in a polite way but rudeness is not tolerated at all!
Good luck OP 😀
Edit to add DSD is 8 and DSS is 6
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11-03-2015 21:59 #16
We encourage DS (4) to be honest but to just say it nicely , he would never say gross or yuk he would just say I don't like it ( he has never liked potatoes or chips which seems to be a popular food given to kids so he often has to say I don't like potatoes when he is served them ) we go to other people's houses for dinner all the time so I've just always told him to say thank you and eat what parts of the dinner he likes , he would never say gross or yuk to me, if he did I would definitely be explaining why it's not a nice thing to say
11-03-2015 22:07 #17
We'll often try something new and encourage the kids to tell us what they think and we'll usually comment on what we think too. Some meals get placed on our regular menu and others get the flick.
11-03-2015 22:21 #18
yeah DD doesnt really like potato much - and hates mashed potato. She prefers me to take hers out and each boiled potato than have it mashed ... strange child
12-03-2015 04:23 #19Senior Member
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- Feb 2006
I have had issues in the past with my kids (my youngest, mainly) saying dinner is gross/disgusting or him making vomit noises at it. I find it very rude and we have had many discussions about how better to word things as it hurts my feelings after I've worked so hard to cook it. What worked best was getting my kids to each cook something, serve it to me, and then I sat there with my face screwed up saying how revolting their food was. Of course they got upset, so then I explained what/why I did that. So my oldest two definitely get it now. Sometimes my youngest still has a comment or two but his siblings will always pull him up on it.
As for your DD's second comment, that would have me seeing red tbh. How very rude and disrespectful. She definitely would have been disciplined for that. And I would be speaking to her about your role and how important you are, that you are a good person in the world and NOT "just her mum".
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12-03-2015 06:12 #20
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