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  1. #31
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    DH works 5 days and I work 4, so on the day he works and I don't, I do the big weekly house clean. Other than that, I cook, tidy and do the laundry. He feeds all the animals and does any outside jobs like gardening, watering, cleaning the duck ponds, cleaning the chicken coop and picking up dog poop.

    Works for us, I don't feel like I'm a house slave, I've worked full time for 20 years, most of those with an exH who did nothing at all, then a while on my own, so I'm used to doing the cleaning on my own. DH always asks if he can help with dinner, sometimes I say yes and we cook together. If he sees I'm tired or sick, he jumps up and does everything. His job is physically demanding and mine isn't, so I actually try and get him to relax when he gets home.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I don't think my dp is lazy as such just oblivious. He's used to me doing everything so just does obvious stuff like tidying up after dinner or shopping when there is no food at the weekend. I feel like we need a chore list or something to spur him into action. I think what really irritates me too is that he switches off when I talk house work, gets that glazed not important look on his face - but it is important if you're stuck in messy house all day and know kids will go hungry if you don't shop and cook! I am being super stubborn too though not wanting to ask him to help cus it annoys me that it sounds like I need help with MY chores cus they're not mine this is OUR house and kids! Grrr
    Feels good to feel mad rather than sad 😀
    My partner will go and do HIS shopping for his work lunches etc for the week ahead but won't even stop to look what we actually need as a family so I envy you have a shopper!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    My partner will go and do HIS shopping for his work lunches etc for the week ahead but won't even stop to look what we actually need as a family so I envy you have a shopper!
    WTF! I would lose my sh!t if DF did that!

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    KitiK  (10-03-2015),LoveLivesHere  (10-03-2015),peanuthead  (10-03-2015),Renn  (10-03-2015),VicPark  (10-03-2015)

  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    WTF! I would lose my sh!t if DF did that!
    I am constantly asking him to help out more, to actually think about what we all need just not himself. It seems to fall on deaf ears and I just can't be bothered trying to get through to him anymore.

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    My partner will go and do HIS shopping for his work lunches etc for the week ahead but won't even stop to look what we actually need as a family so I envy you have a shopper!
    Mine does shop at the weekend but just for what's needed as we go. No milk for breakfast he picks some up, then food for lunch and food for dinner but never does a list or buys enough for the whole day! He does pick up fruit and yoghurts but never checks what we have first

  7. #36
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    At the moment its probably a 90/10 split with housework (with me doing majority). It's naturally evolved that way since our DS was born, but it makes me very frustrated. Yes he does work fulltime, but parenting is "full-time" and I also work at home. For many years whoever cooked did the washing up in our house, but somewhere along the way DH became lazy and whenever he's asked it's always "I'll do it in the morning" which means he won't do it. I could go on and on about this it makes me very frustrated. DH is quitting his job to also work at home and I firmly reminded him what my expectations will be regarding housework when he's here.

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I don't think my dp is lazy as such just oblivious. He's used to me doing everything so just does obvious stuff like tidying up after dinner or shopping when there is no food at the weekend. I feel like we need a chore list or something to spur him into action. I think what really irritates me too is that he switches off when I talk house work, gets that glazed not important look on his face - but it is important if you're stuck in messy house all day and know kids will go hungry if you don't shop and cook! I am being super stubborn too though not wanting to ask him to help cus it annoys me that it sounds like I need help with MY chores cus they're not mine this is OUR house and kids! Grrr
    Feels good to feel mad rather than sad 😀
    Maybe a visual will help.
    Not necessarily a white board but something up someone visible where he can see what you do and what he does. And not in a nasty way more in a 'this is what needs to be done in the household and this is what my chores are' kinda thing. Also you could sneak a few more things into his list too ;-)

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qrazelna View Post
    Maybe a visual will help.
    Not necessarily a white board but something up someone visible where he can see what you do and what he does. And not in a nasty way more in a 'this is what needs to be done in the household and this is what my chores are' kinda thing. Also you could sneak a few more things into his list too ;-)
    6 months ago I wrote down everything that needed to be done to have a functioning household. I highlighted what DH does regularly.
    Out of about 30 things, he did 2.
    I handed him the list, and left for a weekend (made sure it was one when we had the kids too).
    When I came back he apologised for being so lazy and inconsiderate, and things were good for a month or so... it slowly progressed backwards.

    I am *this* close to doing the same thing again, and leaving for a week this time.

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    My partner will go and do HIS shopping for his work lunches etc for the week ahead but won't even stop to look what we actually need as a family so I envy you have a shopper!
    Wtf.... Don't let him get away with that crap!

  11. #40
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    we both work, so we both muck in and do what needs doing as required. He does outdoor things, like mowing and gardening, I LOVE washing clothes, so I gravitate towards that. We both cook and the $85 we pay our cleaners once a fortnight takes care of changing all beds, all floors and surfaces and baths and toilets etc.


 

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