At the moment I'm a sahm and DH works full time, our split is:
I do washing, order groceries (online), take care of bills and general organisation, tidy, cook dinner (although sometimes DH helps with prep)
DH: baths DD, washes dishes and feeds dogs
On the weekend DH takes up the washing and some tidying, plus does what he normally does Mon-Fri, plus irons for the week ahead.
We have a cleaner so that helps a lot.
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09-03-2015 19:10 #11
09-03-2015 19:18 #12
Dh and I have never had to sort who does what. We both do everything 50/50. I'm a stay at home mum at the moment but it makes no difference.
09-03-2015 20:07 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
I am currently so frustrated with my partner for this exact reason. We both work, me only part time (but shift work) and him full time. He's home by 4:30 each afternoon. I feel like I have to do everything. He'll do the dishes after tea, that's it. And even then I have to redo half of them coz he does a half assed job. He does lawns. I do everything else. Including everything with the kids (they aren't his kids). That means I have to pre prepare dinner for Tuesday and Thursday nights as my son has training and he won't even offer to cook. Today he took clean clothes out of the washing machine that id washed but hadnt got around to hanging, washed and hung out his work clothes and left the rest of the clean clothes sitting in the basket. Grr. Sorry to take over your thread with my own vent OP.
09-03-2015 20:19 #14
I "nag" DH (asking once is apparently nagging) to do "his chores" (bins, dishes at weekends, cooking at weekends).
The kids have to keep their stuff clean and tidy, and anywhere they have made a mess- e.g. DSD is careless and drops food on floor, it's her turn to sweep and mop that room. They also do their own laundry.
I still do about 80% and it is killing me, as work is unpredictable at the moment. But it has to be done. Yes, I can ask DH to help, but all I get it "later"...if I ask again he says to remind him before bed, and if I remind him before bed he says it's too late now... So I just do it.
I have stopped washing the clothes he leaves lying around though and he is starting to notice.
09-03-2015 21:31 #15
I cook, he does outside and everything else is whoever has the motivation or the cleaner
09-03-2015 22:14 #16
I do everything. When he is home, he might cook a couple of times or do a quick grocery shop but thats about it.
ETA- he sometimes also does school drop off and pick up when he is home.
Last edited by SheWarrior; 10-03-2015 at 08:47.
09-03-2015 22:26 #17
A cleaner is a great investment in your relationship. 👍
My guy works away 7 days and is home 7 days. I do it all while he's away, obviously, then when he's home he does drop off and pick up for one kid, makes dinner most nights. It's nice, I call him wifey.
09-03-2015 22:34 #18
I do almost everything (cleaning, washing, cooking, all money stuff) as I am the stay at home parent.
He does school drop off 3 days and pick up 4 days. On those day he will do a small shop for me. We do a bigger shop together on Sundays. He does the yard and is building our new house.
10-03-2015 01:01 #19
My DH works very long hours, I work for a friend two days a week.
I do everything at home/admin/bills etc.
I have a cleaner that comes every two weeks but if I am feeling overwhelmed I get her to come more, take the laundry to the laundromat, put DS in nursery for an extra morning or afternoon to catch up.
DH makes no secret of not enjoying helping around the house but is happy to pay for help, which I think is fair. Chores are not worth arguing about but both partners have to be happy with the arrangement...
If I ask him to help he will without complaint, but that isn't very often.
OP i hope you can find a happy compromise.
10-03-2015 02:45 #20
I do everything pretty much as im a sahm...he does the bins, helps with the kids, will do the dishes if I ask snd occasionally cooks but other than that I do it all. I personally dont think its fair that he should help out 50/50 when home. He is up at 5am and doesnt get home till 5pm. Im not up till 7:30 most days, can nap when dd2 naps if I want, watch a movie, sit down and have a cuppa virtually whenever I want. I can and do meet friends for lunch etc. He doesn't have that luxury and works in a stressful, high demand job. I dont see why he should come home and do housework. My opinion only of course.
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