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  1. #1
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    Default How do you divvy up chores??

    I think I'm always asking bubhubbers the same thing! I feel like me and dp are growing further and further apart and I feel it's mostly because he works and I'm home and somehow that has morphed over the years into me being responsible for most of the house stuff (shopping, cooking, washing, baby care and school stuff). He works hard and is gone 7-7 mon-fri. But he's home all weekend and I'm still rushing around doing most of the house stuff. I have to specifically ask him to take care of dinner. I feel like the house slave and it's making me feel really down and affecting our relationship. Dd1 is really messy and I'm always trying to get her to pick up after herself. I gave up on her room but refuse to wash clothes not in her basket or ones that get dirty from lying on her floor. Dp then periodically will clean her room for her! Drives me mad cus they are joking away together and it's like he's another kid and I'm big bad mom! Hmmm more of rant sorry....

  2. #2
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    I am a sahm and do pretty much all the chores but I don't mind, im looking at going back to work part time soon and wonderingif ill still have to do all the chores because I'll still be doing less hours than dh or if he'll help more

  3. #3
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    My husband works away and I work full time. When he's away I do everything as he's not here but when he's home it's 50/50 whoevers not with the kids is doing the housework. We split cooking and cleaning unless hubby's out doing renovation where I will clean the house etc but after I cook dinner he'll be on kids duty with bedtime routines. It's a fair share in our house of everyone doing what needs to be done that day rather than having certain chores each

  4. #4
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    Can you get a cleaner once a week?
    My dh works long hours and weekends too. I work part time. I found once we got a cleaner just once a fortnight it heloed ne feel less like you're feeling. My dh does help do dishes most night and with the children where he can.

  5. #5
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    I am a SAHM and my partner works. We share housework, if something needs doing one of us jumps in and does it. The only set jobs we have are the lawns are his and the cooking is mine. DF will cook and often offers to but I love cooking so prefer to do it.
    I do tend to do more as I am home more but he definitely does half of everything when he is home.

  6. #6
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    Get a gargabe bag and whatever doesnt get put away goes in their then your kids have to earn their stuff back by helping out with chores.

    I do most of the house work here coz I'm the sahm but I refuse to clean up after everyone when they can all help out (well apart from the baby) though im a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak so I end up re-doing everything anyway.

    Dp works part time and I used to work part time too so if one is home before the other thst person will take the washing off the line and start dinner. I take the kids to school 3 mornings and dp takes them the other days and picks them up.

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  8. #7
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    DH works 6 days a week so I don't ask him to help out with chores. He occasionally cooks dinner (I don't ask, he will offer because he likes to cook) and always does the outside jobs- mows lawns, pots plants, waters garden and plants etc. He keeps our room tidy, will make the bed when he gets home from work if I haven't done it. He does his own washing and folds his own clothes; he chooses to do that himself.
    When I really need a hand he will help if I ask; usually scrubs shower for me because I hate doing that, lol.
    He also takes out the bins.
    But every day general chores I do by myself.

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    From the moment we are both home the house work is split 50-50. This rule was the same when I was on mat leave and now I am back at work. Now I tent to gravitate towards doing Stuff like sweeping, writing grocery lists, banking, tidying, ironing (which I can do while watching TV etc) while hubby mainly does the cooking, lawns, dishes etc. We share kids stuff and after I told him how much I hate grocery shopping we now take turns. It works out that we both put in similar effort.

    Although when I went back to work we did have to recalibrate things (eg I couldn't cook dinner during the day and hubby started helping with groceries).

    Can you say to hubby: "I love you babe but when we are both home house work and free time needs to be split 50-50."

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    Well I have a cleaner, but I do most of the chores around the house when I'm not working.

    I work 3 days. On Thursdays I do washing as I work Mon-Wed. It just makes sense that I'm home so I will hang out washing when I'm home. I do my other washing on weekends and whoever is home will hang it out. I also do a quick clean on Sundays as my husband takes our older 2 kids to swimming lessons.

    My husband leaves for work at 6am and isn't home until 6:30, by which stage the kids are in the bath. But he plays with them, reads with them etc. If he is home before me, he will cook dinner.

    My husband puts rubbish out, washes up.

    I do the groceries on Sundays as I like to be prepared for the week ahead for the days that I'm working. I love doing groceries. I go on my own and my husband looks after the kids.

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    It took a long time for DH and I to get to a point where we both pitch in with the chores in levels we're both happy with. Now we will do them together when we're both home / awake (DH is a shift worker) rather than divy them into his and hers jobs. We find it makes it go faster and less unpleasant. If DH is at work or asleep I'll do the little things like dishes, washing but save the bigger jobs like floors or bathroom to do together.


 

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