Omg they sound really thoughtless. I would be super peeved and can really understand your frustrations. I have similar issues with my in laws - they get ****ty when I bring good for my boys but don't cater for them. Well actually the last 2 times they have cooked them some sausages on BBQ (adults get steak). I don't have an answer other than to get a bit pre-emptive, which is what I ended up doing. I would just barge in with my own uncooked food and start using their kitchen and utensils etc and make a massive point of cooking for your boys but being really nice saying "oh no no please don't fuss for them, I'll cook their dinner, you're doing enough making us food!!!". Make a massive mess, put things back in the wrong place but do it all smiling and vague. If they are like my in laws that will completely freak them out and they may think about catering for your children!!! Just an idea lol or invite them for dinner, feed the kids at 5, make them wait until 8pm lmao. Sorry I'm really mean sometimes!
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03-03-2015 15:08 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
03-03-2015 15:10 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
I'd say something along the lines of what @Lincolns mummy has said. 'Sorry can't come this time as by the time we organise dinner for the boys, we eat and get home it is too late/disruptive to our routine, ask again in 5 years'...
03-03-2015 16:14 #23
Weird that they didnt just do a sausage for the kids......
03-03-2015 16:52 #24
Wow, I would not be taking my kids to DH's parents if they were like this.
And DH would be explaining why.
This is ridiculous!
03-03-2015 17:02 #25
I would make it and your house next time and feed everyone at 5.
03-03-2015 17:15 #26
Why has your dh not said something along the lines of "don't invite us over if your don't give a flying @#$& about your grandchildren." Its abusive behaviour in my opinion. Seriously who doesn't feed their grandkids. Every grandparents I have every met over feed the grandkids. What sort message is it sending them. Even a 4yr old picks up on this sort of garbage. Soon you will be getting why do sent manna and grandpa love me. Why aren't I good enough to eats at nannas.
Time to put a stop to it before it does anymore damage. Seriously if they don't care enough to feed your kids you shouldn't be going there and subjecting your children to such rejection.
03-03-2015 17:54 #27
Ok that is seriously odd! Especially considering your boys aren't fussy. These children are their blood relatives after all!!! What does your DH say about the situation?
03-03-2015 19:18 #28
My in-laws used to serve dinner so late that my kids were tired & emotional by the time dinner was ready.
I told DH he needed to speak to his parents about serving dinner at a kid appropriate time otherwise it would only be him attending family dinners while the kids & i stayed home.
Can you get your DH to say that its really strange to not be including the kids in the dinner and if it doesnt start happening you might not bother coming.
Its only going to get to be a bigger problem as the kids grow and naturally eat more
03-03-2015 20:06 #29
At what age will your kids be when these people think they need to feed them? It's very weird and needs to be addressed - do they have in their head that kids don't eat until a certain age?
03-03-2015 20:33 #30
We do a range of things when we eat with family/friends, depending on what time it is & who with. Family, we usually eat dinner all together (adults + kids) & eat the same thing. Sometimes i know dinner will be served later than my kids can manage (eg,someone is working so we wont eat until 7), so i would either feed my kids before hand, or feed my kids there at the grandies house @ about 6. Then the kids either go to bed there (i just bring a sleeping bag, etc) or maybe watch a movie with their cousins, etc. while the adults eat dinner. Some friends, we have dinner very regularly & always feed the kids beforehand, put them to bed at whoevers house is hosting, and have a nice adult company dinner when the kids are in bed.
The options that i can see for you is 1. Ask for the children to please be catered for 2. Dont go there for meals anymore 3. Pack dinner and feed it to the kids there earlier - that way there is no stress about the kids having to wait for dinner, maybe they could play or have a movie whilenthe adults eat 4. Feed your kids beforehand & either let them play/ watch a movie while the adults eat, or put them down to bed.
Definitely not sticking up for fil - what he is doing is really rude and unhospitable. But maybe he grew up in an era/ with the family culture that kids & adults eat separately?
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