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  1. #21
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    OP I can understand how frustrated you would feel in the situation, but your options are limited. I've seen both sides of a similar situation as my mil currently has one of sons, the wife and kids living there for last 6 years. Thankfully the son and wife are now both have jobs but for a few years both were unemployed and being supported by mil.

    I think for your own mental health you and your husband should try to move out. You mentioned your husband hasn't been able to find a job since graduating- he needs to get a job even if it's not in the related field. The longer he is jobless unfortunately the harder it will be for him to get a job in any field.

    What type of degree does he have? Sometimes you need to start in not so great jobs to get to your desired job, as long as he gets a job that could be the first step in getting a place of your own.

    From your mil's perspective I can see how things are frustrating for her. Are you and your husband contributing to bills, food etc around the house? Also it makes it hard when your definition of clean differs. I think while you're living with them you need to play by their rules.
    Last edited by Night Owl; 19-03-2015 at 20:04.

  2. #22
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    We were living with FIL in order to help him out with his financial responsibilities after his relationship broke down and living with inlaws far from ideal! You haven't given too much information here but from what you have said I think it's definitely time to move out.

    Are either of you on Centrelink? If both of you are it should be enough to find a place on your own - even if it isn't great. Based on what you've said about your inlaws they don't sound like overly major issues, keep the peace!

  3. #23
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    Move out.
    You're not happy.
    It's their home. They run it how they like. You can agree and stay there or disagree and move out.

    It's "nice" for people to help you. But none of them are under any obligation to. Not your inlaws or your own mum.

    So move out, avoid negative influences and manage on your own.

    Sounds like the best resolution for all!

    Or maybe try chatting to lovingmummy123. I notice her post seems similar with inlaw issues. You might find some solutions to help both of you.

    Good luck.

  4. #24
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    Definately time to leave the building! Seems like everybody is unhappy and over each other. Pp have put forward some good ideas about support out there, you just need to start investigating those avenues. Good luck, if you really want to move out you will. Until then, you will have to remain a house guest and live by their house rules, as difficult as it may be.
    Last edited by Tinkers; 19-03-2015 at 15:07.

  5. #25
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    I'm sorry to hear things are so strained. But I agree with everyone else. It's time to move out and it sounds like your inlaws are sick of the situation too. Your husband needs to be applying for anything and everything he can, you are going to be parents soon and it shouldn't be your inlaws job to support their adult son, DIL and grandchild. It is difficult to live off benefits but find yourself a little 1 bedroom unit until you can afford more.

  6. #26
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    I get that in laws can be annoying. But, as most people have said, move out. There is no reason you can't find a home in this first world country. Go to centre link, find a financial counsellor, find jobs. Your husband can stack shelves at the supermarket rather than waiting for a great job that uses his uni degree. You have to be willing to take steps to help yourself or your situation is not going to improve.

  7. #27
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    Last week i was made to apologize to my sister in law, even thpugh i was depressed and she was insulting us. Why is this continually ok? Im seeing a counsellor but have to wait weeks to see her. Still no answers as to why they dont pressure my sister in law to have kids, when they didnt care at all that i was unemployed and depressed when i found out i was pregnant

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meccamega View Post
    Last week i was made to apologize to my sister in law, even thpugh i was depressed and she was insulting us. Why is this continually ok? Im seeing a counsellor but have to wait weeks to see her. Still no answers as to why they dont pressure my sister in law to have kids, when they didnt care at all that i was unemployed and depressed when i found out i was pregnant
    Just get out of there. It's detrimental to your health.

  9. #29
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    No one can physically make you apologise to anyone love. Vent away Hun but you also have some great advice on here... If it's getting to the point of depression you need to find a way to move out... There are places out there to help people in your situation.

    Hugs Hun I hope the psychiatrist can help you when you get to see her.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meccamega View Post
    Still no answers as to why they dont pressure my sister in law to have kids, when they didnt care at all that i was unemployed and depressed when i found out i was pregnant
    I dont know what this means.


 

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