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    Unhappy Kindy behaviour - normal or not ok?

    Hi there,

    I am new to the forum so my apologies if this post is in the wrong category, etc.

    My DD just started kindy a few weeks ago and all seems to be going ok so far. She is very social and sweet and as an only child she is quite keen to make new friends.

    Today she told me that another little girl told her that she hated her. I was in total shock and it really broke my heart. She wasn't too upset or anything and still said she had a good day so I tried not to make a big deal of it, but it is really bothering me...

    Is this normal 4 yo kindy playground talk.? It's certainly not in our house. I have always taught her to be kind to others and she has so much empathy. Should I mention something to the director or am I overreacting? Hate is just such a nasty word for a 4 yo to use!

    Would really appreciate your thoughts x

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    Yeah, it is pretty normal. Girls in particular get quite b!tchy at a young age. What she said is not right but not uncommon.

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    Adel76  (26-02-2015)

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    My 4 year old tells me he hates me all the time, breaks my heart too.
    Children are fickle little things and day the darnedest things. Some things are lovely and some are not.

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    Adel76  (26-02-2015)

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    Yeah there are definitely some mean girls starting early out there! I don't want it rubbing off though, that's for sure. I've always tried to teach her to be nice and polite but I'm going to have to start adding assertive too.

    She told me she then went off and made her something to 'cheer her up'.. I was like nooooo! Very sweet but no.

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    I used to get really upset too! Then the next week my kid was playing with said bully. 'We are friends now'.

    It is very normal. Also normal when they say it to you when told 'no'. It's coming if it hasn't. lol.

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    With my first child, I too would have been horrified! First (only) children are just not exposed to that sort of thing...now I have a kindy aged son with older siblings (age 12 and 9) who he hears all sorts of things from! And copies them word-for-word! So he has "playground talk" that is much different to what a first child would.
    As examples..he has been known to call people "idiot" "moron" and probably worse . He will say "I hate you".. usually because he knows it gets him attention. He also say "oh fail" when he he or anyone else make a mistake. That one is quite funny
    Of course I discourage my older kids for talking like that too, but it seems to be par for the course. ..

    Anyway. ..in short, it wouldn't surprise, if the little girl is a younger sibling...
    Teach your daughter how to cope in suvh a situation, resilience is so, so important. .

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    Yep 4 is about the time it started at my son's daycare. His teachers would talk to the whole group and remind them about using 'kind words'. I remember ds saying it to me for the 100th time when he was almost 5. I said 'well then I hate you too'. He was so upset, asked me to take it back and has not said it since (or I don't recall). He's now almost 8. I'd check in with the carers at daycare. They might talk to her class as a whole. I expect my children to be kind but I don't expect them to be nice. I feel it encourages being walked over and there are way too many people/kids willing to bulldoze others.
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 26-02-2015 at 23:58.


 

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