You call my 6 week old a c7nt and you would be finding somewhere else to live.
That is just vile, disgusting, abusive and I would have no respect for him at all.
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26-02-2015 22:43 #11
26-02-2015 22:46 #12
26-02-2015 22:46 #13
Thanks Harvs and Fearless you both have valid points. I don't want my marriage to end and I never thought we would end up like this and I think he is just ready to walk away as he can't seem to talk about this like adults. It seems so stupid to separate over me telling him to stop swearing at the kids...I don't mean to criticise and no I don't think he is coping with the two kids and he even says he regrets it. Which hurts in itself but I know the comments are coming from a place of helplessness and frustration. But this swearing an aggression hasn't just happened because of the new baby..I am at a loss...I mean I am meant to have the next 2 years off work if he leaves because I hold a mirror up to his behaviour I don't know how we will figure this all out. I feel so sick and over it...it shouldn't be like this.
26-02-2015 22:47 #14
So in your experience, when you were in that headset, would you have been willing to try to stop/go to counselling if it was distressing your DP?
26-02-2015 22:49 #15
26-02-2015 22:56 #16
But the OP says that her DH agrees that it's wrong and he should stop. He's not saying 'I have the right to swear at them and you won't stop me'
I don't know, counselling isn't for everyone. DP made me go to counselling because he told me quite frankly that he didn't trust me around the kids alone (that was an awful, awful thing to hear). But it's actually not the answer for everyone. There has to be compromise on both sides. I wonder if the OP has asked her DH what he thinks they should do. Not implying that she hasn't, genuinely wondering. If he's really saying 'I won't change so get used to it' then that is sad and seems like a bit of a lost cause. But it sounds to me like he's asked her to be more of a partner to him, and I wonder if she's tried to do that or asked him how she can.
It just makes me sad that there's no understanding a lot of the time that depression doesn't always present as crying in bed, for lots of people (mostly men but hey me too) it presents as anger. It's not merely a case of 'he has to stop swearing and being immature'
I'm not necessarily saying the OP's DH is depressed, but he certainly sounds like he's not coping well.
26-02-2015 22:57 #17
26-02-2015 22:57 #18
27-02-2015 01:01 #19
This thread makes me sad mostly because your DH Fuddy and you FL sound just like my DH..who I recently separated from. In hindsight, I truly wish I had been a more supportive partner when our children were toddlers. Parenting is really really hard, when you have babies/toddlers in the house, and it is a hard transition from being a carefree couple to co-parents. My DH struggled, and as FL mentioned, his lack of coping came across as anger. I wish that instead of getting on my high horse and telling him off like a child when he was carrying on I had said "I can see you are really struggling, go take a breather, let me help for a minute".
I don't know, I'm not a swearer, he is, and while I still wouldn't like anyone to swear at or in company on my kids, I truly wish I had been more compassionate, and understanding. .and yes, a better partner and team mate
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27-02-2015 01:18 #20
By Livia in forum Research HelpReplies: 0Last Post: 13-06-2014, 08:19
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