hi heavenblue, mil has crossed the line. she has said her opinion, and given you many hours of advice, now she is still trying to badger you into doing as she wants "because you are putting your child at risk' if you don't. I think you have to just tell her to butt out, and leave you raise your child how you see fit. she is becoming fanatical and if she doesn't stop you will stop spending any time with her. good luck, marie.
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25-02-2015 14:16 #21
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25-02-2015 14:29 #22
In short... no, there's no evidence to what she's saying. There are plenty of people who believe that gluten and dairy etc. are harmful to everyone, but the science doesn't back them up.
I think overall, if everyone ate a 'paleo' diet, then yes average health would improve. That's not because of the diet itself, but because anything which necessitates avoiding processed foods and eating more fresh foods will be of benefit to many people.
It'll depend on your MIL's temperament, but a strategy that sometimes works with fanatics is to simply tell them "I'm not discussing this with you anymore" and walk away. Keep it up every time she tries to push her views on you, and it may get a response.
Sounds very frustrating to deal with!
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25-02-2015 14:35 #23
Thanks everyone for your responses. It's helped me greatly. In short, I'm going to keep feeding DS the well rounded, healthy diet he has been getting. I'm happy to include some paleo recipes if she decides she wants to contribute. If the 'advice' or criticism continues I will be discussing it gently with DP. I don't want to offend mil as she does so lovely things for us and she doesn't mean bad. I don't want her to think I dislike her or don't want her around.
25-02-2015 14:36 #24
25-02-2015 14:42 #25Senior Member
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- Sep 2011
Disclaimer - I agree with the sentiment of what your Mil is saying. & she is probably just concerned for the health & well being of your children. The current perception of "food groups", what is/isn't healthy, what the Australian government recommends & what most (not all) gps advocate for are not necessarily current or up to date information - e.g just last week the US updated their health recommendations to say oops, sorry, we were wrong, fat actually isn't that bad, & sugar (ie complex carbohydrates) is actually bad.....so, if you are seeking professional advice/support on what you should/shouldn't be feeding your kids, be wary of social media hype (in either camp!) or old outdated research & findings.
In saying that, & irrespective of whether I agree with your mil or not, is irrelevant - they are your kids, & it's yours (& your partners) decision what to feed them, & no one else's. She may mean well & have best interests at heart, but she needs to back off & let you feed your kids on what you believe to be healthy.
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25-02-2015 14:49 #26
25-02-2015 14:59 #27
And can I just add that I don't DISAgree with her - I just wish she would ease off on the constant criticism and ranting when DS is given a small amount of wheat or dairy. I understand that she is coming from a place of concern and only wants the best for us. I'm not disputing that. What I'm saying is that it's grinding on me that she feels I am so incompetent to make good food choices for myself and my family. A couple of wholemeal toast soldiers or a piece of natural cheese is not going to make my DS ill. For every time I make a good choice she will find something in that choice that could have been better or in her opinion was wrong. I don't think anyone realizes that the constant undermining of my choices is affecting my confidence as a mother. She has never made me feel even once, that I'm doing the right thing for my DS. I can't please her.
Anyways. Im derailing my own thread here and going off topic by getting into MIL relationship dynamic issues. She just winds me up to a point of complete anxiety. I swear being a mum would have been 100 times easier if she'd just give me a break. sorry all, rant over.
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25-02-2015 15:21 #28
Can you get your DH to talk to her or do you feel comfortable saying something like - I love how much you care for DS but sometimes you do make me feel insecure and I'm sure you remember what it was like when you first had your kids, I do value your input but id like you to respect the choices I make as his mum and the last thing I want is too feel uncomfortable seeing you
25-02-2015 17:48 #29
FWIW I'm sure you are doing a great job as a mum
Last edited by Pearlygirl; 25-02-2015 at 17:54.
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25-02-2015 18:20 #30-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
"Hey MIL. If I have any questions about DS's diet I will ask my GP who is trained in these issues. Won't be discussing it further with you thanks ma'am!"
At the same time stop inviting her to comment by telling her in any detail what you feed your DS.
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