Help with self settling

[Gracie81]

I need some help to get my 4 mo dd to self settle. We went cold turkey with the dummy over a week ago and have gone from 10+ night wakings to 1 (fantastic! And big thanks to the great advice I got from ppl on this forum).

However now we have tears for every single sleep, and she's started catnapping again during the day.

I try and put her in the cot 'awake but drowsy' and she either screams straight away or grizzles for 5 minutes and then screams.

Awake time is anywhere from 1.5 - 2.5 hrs and I think I'm pretty good at recognising the tired signs. I can't leave her to scream/distress cry. I'm worried that I'm going to replace one 'bad' sleep association with another so I don't want to start feeding or rocking to sleep, but I'm not sure what to do.

Any suggestions? Or share how you pop your little one to sleep? Thanks.

[~Marigold~]

At that age I simply rocked to sleep and followed her lead. It wasn't until my DD was 10 months old that I tried any "techniques". I used CC which means you leave them to grizzle for a couple of minutes, go back in and soothe/pat and repeat. It only took a couple of nights of this until she started sleeping through. I was like you, as in I'd never felt comfortable letting her cry or become distressed, just the usual whingey protest and I'd be back in to soothe her.
We had many setbacks and regression since then, but that is generally how I got the ball rolling. She was only having sporadic 15 minute cat naps during the day at the time, too, but as soon as we started CC (or my version of it) she began taking 2-3 hour day naps and still does so to this day (will be 3 in July.)
From everything I've read, leaving baby to self settle is usually only recommended from 6 months+. I guess this is just a guideline and I'm sure many have got their bubs to self settle earlier, but I didn't even attempt until closer to age 1.

[littleriv]

Hi OP, well done on dropping the dummy! That is fantastic. I too have aways fed to sleep, so a full tummy and happy, drowsy baby, with no stimulation or 'play' leading up to sleep time, with white noise when I put baby down. All the best.

[amcyus]

The four month sleep regression!!! DD was a brilliant sleeper / self settler until 4 months, then we started having issues just like yours. Like a previous poster said, CC type techniques are not generally recommended until 6 months. I simply rocked to sleep. It was all I could do to ensure she had rest. Sometimes she'd wake when I put her down, sometimes not. This led to me having to rock her back to sleep multiple times per night until about 12 months when I felt she was old enough to try something different. By 14 months she was self settling and sleeping through and has done ever since. It just so happened that she was a needy baby! It went against every instinct I had to listen to her get hysterical (also I was on my own with no support which I think is crucial to CC / CIO!), I just trusted that one day she'd get it and sure enough she did. The trick for me was to listen to the type of cry. As soon as I felt it was more of a 'protest' cry, as opposed to a 'distressed' cry, I felt more confident in leaving her to self settle. Sorry if I haven't been very helpful lol, but just know you're not alone!!

[LittleBug'sMum]

My DS is 5 months and self settles. Sometimes easier than others. He starts to grizzle as a tired sign, so that usually continues until I put him into bed. Usually he will grizzle another 5 mins and then fall asleep.
If he really starts crying (or if the grizzling has been going on for too long) I go in pick him up give him a bit of a pat/ rock until he settles again, then leave.
Just lately I have started patting his nappy (while still in the cot) which seems to work even better for him.
But he has been self settling from a few weeks old and he is a very cruisy baby, not sure that would have worked so well for my other two!

[Gracie81]

Thanks everyone! I'll try and relax a bit more and ride it out

I'll continue with the drowsy thing and just keep comforting her (pick up) if she gets upset.

[Gracie81]

Another question - if I start feeding or rocking to sleep, won't that mean she'll expect the same when she wakes between sleep cycles?

[A-Squared]

Another question - if I start feeding or rocking to sleep, won't that mean she'll expect the same when she wakes between sleep cycles?

It's very likely during the sleep regression, however I advise to pick a strategy and stick to it. It's the consistency that will help.

[LittleBug'sMum]

Another question - if I start feeding or rocking to sleep, won't that mean she'll expect the same when she wakes between sleep cycles?

Yes! And if you've already had problems with the dummy, I think it is likely that you would have problems with any new negative sleep association.

[VicPark]

https://childsleepscience.wordpress....done-about-it/

You poor thing.... Basically
1) if you rock/pat/feed bub to sleep expect bub to wake heaps more through the night
2) don't start any sleep associations that you aren't wanting to maintain (feeding/patting to sleep etc). Bub will probably be a turkey for a few weeks, possibly longer if you pander by introducing another sleep aid.

Hang in there