Hey mummas and everyone! This is my first forum so please be gentle!
I am desperate for some support and kindness in the motherhood rhelm! So thanks in advance.
So this is what has been happening. I have been experiencing this since Christmas holidays Dec, and it's now Feb....... Many people have said "it's just a phase..." "She's going through a stage..." or "oh wow! My child never wanted to go to anyone but me!!! That's odd........." I know she does ' put it on' when daddy comes home. She crys, whinges, screams till she is with her daddy and he picks her up and holds her. When he comes home, she sooks at his feet till he picks her up & is carrying her everywhere. If he is around and I'm trying to give her a meal, she won't have a bar of it, unless she sits with him. I tell hubby to harden up and make him aware of what is happening, but it just continues, hes a pile of pudding for her. I don't let her get away with it.
The hardest part was when she was really Ill a few weeks ago, to the point we were @ the Childrens & she was on a drip o/n and she would turn hysrterical when hubby needed a break & wanted me to hold her. When I temporarily held her, she became so distressed that I was bawling my eyes out, my daughter too and the hospital saw us sooner. It completely shattered my heart...............I felt like a complete failier as a mother.... my own daughter of 18 mths old didn't want me to comfort her.....I have never done anything to hurt her. I love her more than life its self!
I feel like such a **** mum.
Sorry mummas but this has really been eating me up inside. Any kind words are generously welcomed.
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20-02-2015 23:16 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
Little one prefers dad to mum & it's killing me!!!!!!
21-02-2015 05:57 #2
Oh so sorry to hear that just want to reassure you that you are a great Mum. I have 3 girls and my first two, especially the eldest used to do this around that age. Definately a Daddy's girl. But do you know what? Overtime, this changed. She's 5 now and whilst she still has a strong bond with her Dad, she needs me a lot more.
Your daughter is still a baby, and if Dad is the good cop she probably naturally gravitates to him. Hang in there, it will get better.
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21-02-2015 07:01 #3
My DS is 18 months old and is exactly the same. I think it's because DH works so much, so DS doesn't get to see him as much - a couple of hours a day. DS gets separation anxiety and starts bawling if DH even goes to the toilet! Yet he couldn't care less if I was there or not. He also gives DH lots of kisses and cuddles, but refuses to give to them to me, just squirms to get away and pushes me in the face :/
It is very upsetting and sometimes heartbreaking for me, but I try to remember that he's just a baby who misses "fun daddy" all day.
One thing that I've found has helped is for me to make more time for fun play with DS during the day while it's just the two of us. It means that sometimes I don't get a much house work done, and sometimes I don't get to finish running errands, but it's worth it. I have seen an improvement. It's not fair that daddy gets to be the fun one for the couple of hours a day that he sees him, while boring mummy still has to do all the boring daily stuff!
It is a phase they go through, and it will pass. I'm sure you are a great mum and I'm certain that your DD loves you very much. It's so hard not to take it personally, but just try to remind yourself that DD is just a baby who misses her daddy while he's at work at all day. Big hugs to you xo
21-02-2015 19:56 #4Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
Thanks for taking the time to read and reply to me. Your reassurance has been lovely, so thank you. It's nice to know others are experiencing this as well.
It is hard sometimes though, the logical part of me knows she is only little and yes her dad does work alot and she misses him. But the emotional part sometimes gets the better of me. I can only imagine how the teenage years will be! Yikes! Lol!
21-02-2015 20:06 #5
My dd was also exactly like that as a baby...
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21-02-2015 20:11 #6
I have the same issue here, sometimes it's really upsetting, but some days I can't wait for dh to get home so he won't want me anymore and I can get things done, try to think of the positives of the situation. When she only wants dad to feed her, get him to, and go have a nice warm bath or hot coffee while he's doing it
Chin up, all kids love their mummy's and it won't be long until all she wants is you again, enjoy that break
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21-02-2015 20:34 #7
My DS1 is a daddy's boy. It became apparent around the 18 month mark as well. We have had many ups and downs. He went through phases when he would scream for daddy for hours when he was at work and it's heart breaking. DS1 is nearly 4 now. It's been a tough road. He is a daddy's boy and that's fine. He still needs me as well. It's me not dad that he calls for when he hurts himself. I get the thumbs up at swimming lessons. It's very hard to accept but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I get kisses and told I love you all the time. Dad is the fun one and he still demands that his dad out him to bed which is fine by me! But yes at 18 months it was hard, and it hurt my feelings and I didn't understand. Hang in there, it will get better.
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21-02-2015 20:37 #8
Besides his first few months of life when he was obsessed with me my ds has always loved his dad more than me, he wants him over me in most aspects, when he's not around I get plenty of love, his dad plays slot more than I do on the ground etc and he loves that, I'm sad sometimes that he doesn't seem to need me more but I had to go away for 4 days last year and he definitely missed me. No real advice just hugs, I know it sucks and it has no reflection on your quality of parenting! It will no doubt chop and change over the years between the two of you, hang in there
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