I am having a vent. I really need one cause I just feel like I am going to explode.
Every day I am challenged with a child who wants to just throw and destroy everything he touches. 3/4's of my house is sealed off by baby gates to prevent him from destroying the things in the room, and once that is sealed off he goes to the next room. Items have been removed. My bathroom has no toys, has no open displays of bottles, glasses, tooth brushes or tooth paste. But he still finds something in there.. like he pulled the drain cover out and started spreading the crap in the pipe everywhere. And it happens in a short space of time. I could be washing the dishes, reloading the washing machine. Hell going to the toilet! Writing this message... (4 times removed him from the toilet)
He eats everything....
Is indifferent and doesn't understand anything I say to him. So it's an impulse just keep doing what he is doing. I can't child lock the doors, my eldest needs to get in to them.
I can not do anything, and I just want to scream. It's his age, his mental age, his development age, which has created .. well this monster. I don't want to call him that, but it's all I can come to in my head. He has tunnel vision, he has selective hearing, he doesn't respond to his own name... He doesn't notice me at all, so saying no means diddly squat in his world.
No amount of redirection, finding items that might hold his attention.
"hey heres this" he will just take it with him or throw it, where ever he is going for his next course of action.
All I can do is hope he improves. I want to cry, I want to run away. I feel like the worst mother there is..
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17-02-2015 15:53 #1
So frustrated, so over it.
17-02-2015 16:32 #2
Hi White Marge-
Wow it sounds like you're going through such a tough time hugs!
Would I be right in guessing he is 2-3 years old?
I have a 2yo ATM who is very much the same! Impulsive, destructive and curious of everything he can pull out/spill/ rip up/throw etc.
It is absolutely exhausting!!!
I also have older kids who need access to things which makes child proofing an extra tough challenge.
The only thing I can think of is to lock up what you can and gate off what you can! It's a bit of a pain, but it does release at least some of the havoc. I have my 2yos bedroom gated at night (because otherwise like h*ll would he be staying in his room at night and going to sleep) plus it prevents him getting up in the early am before I'm awake and destroying the place!
I started with some adhesive "click up" locks for the fridge etc (some of his favourite activities include pulling out fruit, biting it, leaving it somewhere random for me to find then going back and repeating, spilling milk (purposefully), smearing salad dressing throughout the fridge and cracking eggs on the floor and other such savoury (pun intended) activities )
Of course the click locks were figured out in a depressingly short amount of time so now I've moved onto a butch metal padlock with a key that I installed with strong adhesive metal hinges (lol) these can all be found at bunnings warehouse.
Is your little one in daycare or kinder at all? One of the reasons he may be becoming so restless (beyond that it's unfortunately quite a normal curiosity driven behaviour in small kids) is that he's seeking extra stimulation-
As parents we all do our best to provide this but we also have to take care of so many other things it can be hard not to get busy- plus it seems sometimes within moments of distraction (like you said with going to the loo etc.) they can be off and into something new (gah!)
If he's not already- it might help to get him enrolled in some sort of education based daycare or kinder program not only will this give you a much deserved break- but it will also provide him with a good outlet a couple times a week to explore in a completely childproof environment
Maybe you're already doing this?
I hope this helps and I'm sure you're already Doing all the right things. It's hard work being mum!
I feel your pain- I really do. They do grow out of it though- unfortunately it's just a time thing. :/ sometimes all I can do is just have a quick cry and hope for a better tomorrow.. So you're not alone- and any advice people here give you is probably things you've already thought of tried- so te main thing to remember is we can definitely relate. I hope you can find some relief with him soon and big, big hugs in the meantime.
17-02-2015 16:33 #3
I here you. DS is 3.5 now and has only just settled down a bit with the help of Omega3 supplements, removing artificial colours and preservatives from his diet and limiting TV. Now he plays with his toys, still touches everything he possible can but is a lot easier to manage/redirect. We still have 4 safety gates up in the house though.
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17-02-2015 16:36 #4
Must be so hard. Have you had him checked by an ENT Dr? I only ask because after my son had his tonsils, adenoids and grommets done he was a different kid.
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17-02-2015 16:56 #5
He had heaps of infections last year. But after a 4 month reprieve, he has just got his next one, right now believe it or not. I wouldn't of noticed he was ill. He has a very high threshold to pain, and his bad breath tipped me off.
I discussed with the Dr today about it, and we do have another hearing test for the start of April. His hearing tests in the past have shown, he can hear perfectly but due to being congested, there is no movement in the ear drums. So if he passes the test but still has no movement, we will be getting our referral to the ENT Dr right after.
KiWolf - He now goes to Daycare 3x a week. Which gives me some breathing space. My Dh is also looking into buy another baby gate to seal off the little hallway to the toilet and bathroom. It literally leaves him with just the lounge and his room to play in. He still can not reach the lock on our pantry, and has no interest in the fridge.
Ds2 is a very curious case, as he seems like a stimulator seeker, but he is an avoider... he just has very high thresholds. So he may continue to seek out something, but it will be something he ends up not wanting... it's complicated, but sadly he is ultimately going to be a lot of work.
The other issue is, it changes all the time, before he figured he could throw stuff, he chewed stuff... He even had a kiddie chew toy for a while, but we could never figure out what exactly he was actually after from the toys, or what kind of chew toy he needed...
Then he went through a stage where he wanted to be upside down and seeked out rough play, ALL. THE. TIME. I couldn't wash the dishes without him hanging off me.
17-02-2015 17:03 #6
So frustrated, so over it.
Hmmm, I agree the ENT Dr. may be worth looking into.
You're right it certainly sounds like he's seeking out different tastes/textures/stimulation- perhaps a sensory issue could be behind it too? A paediatrician could help figure this out.
I really feel for you because I know how hard it can be, and how exhausting! My 2yo is very restless as well - all three of mine were between the ages of 2-3yo.
I hope you find some answers/solutions and most importantly some relief soon- you must be so emotionally/mentally and physically drained xo
17-02-2015 17:09 #7
We are currently focusing on his communication, so mainly eye contact type things, and later be able to implement the communication PEDS program. If we can get him to a point where he wants to be able to communicate somehow, it may make it easier figuring out what he wants. And maybe be able to help him a little better with his needs.
The ENT has been something I have asked the PD in the past, but he has never been overly concerned with this side of things. Cause funnily enough DS2 is never poorly when we see him. So Yeah, I am going to do it through my GP instead, and get my referral.
17-02-2015 19:17 #8
Huge huge hugs first off, I feel for you big time. I feel a bit the same and have frustrations but my DS cannot walk yet although he crawls and does it speedy. He's figured out how to open doors just the last few weeks too, he'll get on his knees and reach for door handles and open somehow.
I also have older children which really does make child proofing tricky.
Like your child my DS does not understand 'no' or what he's doing is wrong.
He was trying to pull the tv off tv cabinet so had to get a new one so tv is now high up but unfortunately it has glass doors for a display type cabinet and doors to put dvds and stuff in, he rips them open and bangs his hands on glass, gulp lol...
I don't have an awful lot of advice but what previous posters have said sounds good, daycare and the like.
My DS who is 2 goes in a high chair for time out sometimes. Sounds bad but sometimes it's good for settling him down, some food on the tray maybe some tv or music just to calm him. It's a comfy one with cushiony seat. Sounds horrible like I'm a bad mumma lol, but it works to calm him sometimes and stop him if he's in a destroying type mood, just 10, 20 mins just for timeout and gives me a break also.
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20-02-2015 11:54 #9
What I have done today...
Collect all the shoes from behind the couch, that Ds2 threw behind there.
Lost a 3rd of my family photo fridge magnets behind the oven. Which by the way he was clever enough to take one of the chairs from his kiddy table to help him reach.
Pull him out of the bath tub 4 times and repaired 2 baby gates.
Stopped him from washing his hands in the toilet twice.
And had to close the front door, because he has figured out how to unlock the extension door.
20-02-2015 14:54 #10
Ugh it is so hard sometimes. The lock adhesive came off my fridge today - DS3 is still to come home from kindy - freaking out!
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