DT75, I hope your DSS is okay!
I think it would be wise to have a n agreement drawn up because what you are paying is not fair.
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17-02-2015 10:25 #51
17-02-2015 10:36 #52
17-02-2015 11:51 #53
@DT75, I wish there were more step parents & fathers like yourself & your husband. I hope I wasn't coming across as a general way, I wasn't I was just purely speaking from my own experience. My ex used to proclaim to everyone "I pay what child support tell me to pay!"but he wouldnt tell people the amount was $0, while he was working full time and living with his parents rent free, while I was raising our son on my own having to get my parents to help me financially get by week to week because he felt he owed nothing towards his child, yet wanted to see him each fortnight.
My DF's best friend is a fantastic father that goes above & beyond what is asked of him also, because he loves his two girls and would do anything for them I feel the two of you are the same here.
While my situation is very different to yours, please don't feel as though you "owe" your step children's mother anything more than what CS has decided what is fair (which imo is very generous, compared to the $100 per month I receive). She shouldn't be signing the children up to activities, expecting you to foot the bill, without coming to an agreement. You two shouldn't be paying maintenance for her house, plus everything else on top of what you guys already pay. Perhaps see if she will agree to go to mediation to come to an agreement and get an agreement written up?
17-02-2015 12:02 #54
Last edited by DT75; 17-02-2015 at 12:15.
17-02-2015 12:14 #55
Your ex is an a$$hat. I will never understand people refusing to provide for (or lying about) their children.
We do adore the kids, it's hard not too- they are wonderful people. It's a fine line, and sometimes is difficult, but we don't ever want them to feel that. It is up to us adults to make sure that things run smoothly.
I don't feel we 'owe' her as such. I feel we owe the kids. They deserve to be able to do activities they like. But they also deserve to study and do homework, and show their teachers and peers how clever we know they are.
We have asked for mediation several times over the years, for different reasons. I am hoping that this investigation (if it ever happens) will kick DH into gear. I can't do anything, and don't want to. He has to be the one to push for it.
17-02-2015 12:24 #56
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18-02-2015 09:28 #57
The school was putting notes in their bags, but have stopped.
The problem is, that without us going to court and them making her do it, she won't. We have tried everything. She doesn't want to be 'held to action', even if it was something she suggested.
ETA: I meant involved in the court proceedings.
Last edited by DT75; 18-02-2015 at 09:32.
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