My partner and I are expecting a baby in August and its approaching that 20 week point where we can find out the sex of our baby. Problem is, I don't want to find out, but he does. What do we do? I feel really strongly about it, it will probably be my last baby and I've never had that surprise at birth. I ask him why he wants to find out and his reply is "because I want to". I'm so scared of him finding out at the scan and then slipping up somehow over the next 20 weeks. I don't want that surprise taken away from me. I tried to tell him today that if he thinks he might slip I'd prefer to just find out at the scan so I can kind of have that moment. But I know it won't be the same. He just retorts in s childish "I won't find out then". What do I do in this situation? Help!!
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13-02-2015 19:04 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
DP & me in battle: Finding out sex of baby.
13-02-2015 19:21 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
Let him be childish. Its you who will be going thru the pain etc so just say no. He will get over it.
13-02-2015 19:26 #3
I agree just say nope. My DP and i made a deal. With DD we found out at 19 weeks because he wanted too. With #2 we wont be finding out at all.
If it were me and he found out and slipped up **** WOULD HIT THE FAN.
13-02-2015 19:26 #4
This will be the battle we will have with the next. DH bonds better when he knows the sex/name of bub.
i don't think it's a good idea if he finds out and you don't he no doubt will slip up.
Just push your point if it's important to you
13-02-2015 19:32 #5
I agree! Call his bluff. "Cool, we won't find out then!". Let him sulk about it all he likes, he'll get over it and you'll get your surprise.
I found out last time, DH wanted to and I didn't but DH had started referring to bub as "she" and "her" (we were convinced we were having a girl) so I agreed to find out under the proviso that I get my surprise next time. Lucky we did because we've got a gorgeous son!
13-02-2015 19:42 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
Go do the scan without him
13-02-2015 19:43 #7
First pregnancy I didn't want to find out and DH did. Just because he could.
I told him I had the last say as it was a medical exam of my own body. So as long as we're talking about my uterus my choice.
But he was welcome to find out once it was out. ;-)
So that's what we did.
Second pregnancy we were in the same position. However I was feeling a little guilty that he didn't get to find out the first time. So I asked the OB to write the gender down on a piece of paper, thinking that DH wouldn't want to know anyway.
Well he read the paper as soon as I got home. I'm 26 weeks and still sad/disappointed to know. Stick to your guns. Such a special surprise!!
13-02-2015 19:46 #8
I have friends who hubby's found out but they didn't. And they've don't it for three pregnancies too!
And they never told or let it slip accidentally! Can you just do that and hope he doesn't say?
13-02-2015 19:51 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Tell him he got his way last time so it's only fair you get to do it your way this time.
13-02-2015 19:55 #10
Maybe ask him to forgo finding out and you will give the baby his surname? Don't buy into the sulky thing. His reason for knowing doesn't outweigh your reason for not knowing.
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