That's fair enough I understand. Sometimes you really want people to be what you want them to be and I understand because I've been like that before. I tried and tried and yeah I got a marked improvement but it also made me feel bad that I was forcing someone to see things my way and it didn't feel good. I want my ex dp to be as free as I feel and I had to accept he is who he is and I am who I am. I'm by all means no easy person to get along with by any stretch and I get that and I don't expect someone to be around me if they don't like my point of view. I tried to change though and it made me miserable and I guess it was the same for ex DP. I think the best thing to do is stop thinking about anyone changing and work on just loving each other again. I think it's the pressure that makes things worse. Go back to where it all began and retrace why you fell in love. I think that's all you can really do is try and rebuild from scratch and let go of all the bad ju ju that went on. <3
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12-02-2015 19:30 #21
12-02-2015 19:32 #22
Oh and don't get advice from friends because they have so much bias… My Dad said a really valuable thing to me that when he and my mother separated the thing that made it worse was Mum talking and listening to her friends over Dad. I agree I did the same thing i consulted friends and some of them gave me self sabotaging advice because they didn't want my relationship to work. Trust yourself and sort it out between you guys it's none of your family or friends business really.
12-02-2015 19:33 #23
I REALLY REALLY hope I don't offend you with this!!
Who is the one with fertility issues? Is it you? Could this be why he is being so hurtful and hateful?
If it's him could he be erupting the hate and guilt he feels for himself onto you?
12-02-2015 19:45 #24
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
If your DH is serious about working on things, you can decide to do that AND stay separated if you want to.
You don't have to just move back in and move on.
I wish only good things for you.
Be kind to yourself x
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