Ok ladies I have a problem... My partner is planning to propose.. He "hid" the ring in his wardrobe (must have forgot I do the ironing and put his clothes away) so I have come across a ring... And there's a problem.... I really don't like it!!! we have spoke about and looked at rings sooo many times and he knew the exact one I have wanted for so long... And it is not even close... Now I can't stop thinking about it and now I am really dreading him proposing because I have no idea how to one act surprised and 2 act like I love the ring when I really don't like it!! Has anyone else had something similar or any suggestions how to handle it?!?
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12-02-2015 09:26 #1
You don't like the ring?!
12-02-2015 09:39 #2
Well I don't know what you can do about acting surprised. It's a real shame that you found it and the surprise has been ruined. Maybe instead you should to let him know that you've come across it? Otherwise you'll need to be a good actress when it happens!
As for not liking it - hmm. the meaning and purpose behind my engagement ring made me fall in love with it instantly when DH proposed, and I never gave it a second thought. I don't know what you can do about this as you've already seen it out of the "moment" iykwim, I guess it depends on your partner but I know my DH would have been devastated if I told him I didn't like it as he spent a lot of time choosing one he thought I would like. Can you learn to love it?
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12-02-2015 09:44 #3
I know I wish I could un see it!!!.. He will be shattered if he knew I saw it 😞 I know in the moment I will be the happiest I've ever been he could propose to me without a ring and I would still say yes!!
I know it's not all about the ring and it's the thought that counts, I guess because we had looked at so many together I just thought he would have stuck to what he knew I loved rather then trying to get something else... I'm going to try and not think about it... And hopefully it's a few months before he does propose in which time something else happens like a positive hpt and I can forget I seen it haha!
12-02-2015 09:53 #4
Tough one! We are pretty upfront so in your case I'd probably say that I had found it, I personally just couldn't keep it a secret and act surprised, DH would see straight through me!
DH proposed to me by surprise with a small, relatively inexpensive ring (saying he really couldn't choose) and after we were married I found the perfect ring, I loved! He bought it for our first anniversary. I still have the original ring but I really do love my new one!
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12-02-2015 09:55 #5
Oh dear! How badly do you not like it? Is it like, ‘it’s not what I would have chosen, but it’s ok I guess’ or ‘OMG that is the ugliest thing I have ever seen’?
I had no idea my DH was going to propose, so had no say in my ring at all. He chose something totally unlike anything I would have gone with, bless him. But I was so touched that he had planned out this proposal for months, gone to a jeweller, designed this ring – all off his own bat, that I just said, thank you, I absolutely love it, I’ll wear it forever. And you know what? I have grown to love it over time (it’s a perfectly nice ring, so not offensively ugly or anything). I figure I have 9 other fingers to wear rings of my own choosing, and it’s more what my engagement ring represents that makes me smile when I look at it.
As for acting surprised, I don’t think that will be too hard, given you don’t know where or when it will happen. The moment will take your breath away regardless
And can I say congratulations – what an exciting time you have to look forward to!
12-02-2015 09:59 #6
That's a really tough one. I somehow knew my DH was going to propose when we were on holiday so I found it really hard to act surprised too. I think because I was expecting it all holiday when he started talking about our relationship I suddenly thought "**** this is it" and was terrified! I think I pulled it off though as he has never suspected that I knew beforehand. Tbh I think a lot of people have an inkling as men can be pretty predictable at times!
In terms of the ring, I know he chose it and obviously likes it but you're the one who is going to wear it forever. I think you need to be honest (maybe after the excitement has died down and not straight away!) but it's probably better to try and change it now rather than try to put up with it but always hate it. As people say, you might learn to love it but if you don't think you will try and change it. Unless he had it especially made chances are you can swap it for something else.
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12-02-2015 10:03 #7
12-02-2015 10:11 #8
Thanks for the tips ladies... I didn't get a full on look at it as soon as I seen it I was like omg don't look put it back!! But the first glance was very underwhelming! I guess I just had an idea in my head of what he would get me and what I can remember seeing was far from it.. It could be something I'll like a little but it's definitely not something I would have chosen for myself!!
Just got to try and not think about it now and when it happens hope that something about him proposing just makes me love it! And maybe if I just can't find a way to love it I could suggest swapping or picking one for an anniversary...
Now I'm just excited coz I know it's coming but the waiting for it to happen will kill me!! It's worse then this TWW we are currently in! Haha
12-02-2015 10:33 #9
Reminds me of SITC when Aiden bought Carrie the pear shaped ring on the advice of Miranda and she hated it hehe
Look, I would probably accept it with a huge "OMG I LOVE IT!" even if I didn't really feel that way at first. It is most likely that you will come to love it as time goes on, because it is the ring he chose for you.
My proposal was not even a proposal at all- we were at a shopping centre and DF said 'suppose we had better go look at rings then'... It was nice that I was involved in choosing the ring, but I do wish that he had of surprised me with a proposal instead of the underwhelming one I got. (I still love him just as much though.. and I suppose as an upside I absolutely adore my ring!)
12-02-2015 10:37 #10
I definitely wouldn't tell him you found it! Let it be a complete surprise. You got a quick glance at the ring so you know he's planning it but you don't know when or where. When the time comes you'd probably guess what was up anyway so it's not like knowing he's planning it will give anything away and you'll still be surprised. Once you get a good look at the ring you might realise you like it more than you think. Heck, when he proposes he might even say something like "we can change it if you don't like it" (I wouldn't take him up on that unless it was truly godawful, though!).
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By twolittlemunchkins in forum EngagementReplies: 45Last Post: 08-11-2014, 20:32
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