That is such a shame. Your mother is supposed to be someone that you can confide in, not someone who blabs your private business to all and sundry. The least she could've done when you confronted her about it was apologise, say she didn't realise it was confidential and promise to keep her big mouth shut in future. Instead she chose to blame you for her bad judgement!
I think you're wise to stop telling her anything you don't want made public!
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16-02-2015 23:15 #11
17-02-2015 06:28 #12
I'm so sorry OP. My mother sounds very similar. It's so hard when your parents are the people you are supposed to put your trust in - I've had my trust broken time and time again from my mother & it took me SO long to deal with it. You just automatically assume she will be there for you! But what I've come to realise is that it's HER issue. It's really nothing to do with you. My mum is very insecure & seems to thrive on having a dramatic story to tell to anyone who will listen. It's her way of trying to connect with and gain validation from others. I've learned over time to just not tell her anything. It's hard, because like I said you always expect to be able to turn to your family first. Do you have a close sibling or friend you can turn to for support in times like this? Wishing you all the best. You can't change her but you CAN learn how to cope with her hugs xxxx
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Mrs Tickle (21-02-2015)
21-02-2015 17:45 #13
She did it again.
But this time in front of me.
We're having coffee and my son is mentioned and she casually turns to her friend and fills her in.
So I say to her, excuse me Mum, that's private.
And she blinks at me with a I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about look and says what's private, it's time you learned to deal with the fact.
Good god...where do I start.
So, inwardly steaming, I slowly turn to her friend and calmly explain why this information is private to which she wholeheartedly agrees.
It's an awkward moment for all of us.
I get up and leave.
I won't be having coffee with her for quite some time.
That will be how I cope with her totally absent sense of loyalty.
Life just...really sucks lately. Just sayin'.
21-02-2015 18:08 #14
I know how hard it is you have a child with autism . My nephew was diagnose with autism. People that haven't delt with it 24/7 don't understand how hard it can be.
Your son is beautiful no matter if he has autism or not.
She needs to step back and understand where your coming from with this that you don't need to be talked about and everyone starting to think as diffrent because he has autism.
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21-02-2015 19:05 #15
Maybe it's her way of coping? Absolutely not her business to share but maybe she's someone who talks, to get a perspective or some/lots of sympathy from anyone/everyone?
My mum ADORES my daughter - she is fiercely protective of her, but she also does 'update' whoever she likes without me knowing. (My daughter has a disability). She sometimes likes to talk about her like she's her mum. But I understand it's because she loves her, and has a hard time processing the stuff we've been through.
I think you just need to keep reminding her that you are his mum, and only share info with her that you'd want strangers to know... Sad that it's come to that, but he's YOUR son and when you are ready, you'll share info
21-02-2015 20:32 #16
My mum is a notorious big mouth too.
I made her swear not to discuss my DS's suspected ASD with anyone until we knew that he did in fact have autism. I know she did end up discussing it with one close friend, who was going through the same thing with her grandson. Taking this into consideration I wasn't upset.
Now that he has been formally diagnosed, I'm actually not sure just how much she's discussed it with people, but I'm sure lots of people would know now. It doesn't bother me because it's true, it's our reality.
I think it's weak for her to go against your wishes, especially considering his diagnosis isn't firm yet.
21-02-2015 21:56 #17-
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I think you need to crack it with your mum and be super firm. "Mum, I don't care what your reasons are, if you go blabbing about my child's condition again, I will crack the ****in ****s and it will be in your own best interest to keep your distance from
Me for at least XYZ weeks."
Then do not negotiate. If she talks put your hand up and say "nah. This is non negotiable."
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Mama Mirabelle (21-02-2015)
21-02-2015 22:06 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Totally agree with VicPark, I'd be so pi$$ed off if I were you!
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