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    Default My mother has a big mouth

    *sigh*
    My mother appears to be on a role lately.

    Today, I discovered, much to my horror, that my mother has been telling all and sundry that my son is autistic.

    What we have is a preliminary diagnosis, on account of his very young age, which is due for review in September.

    Regardless, I don't want my son being labelled nor do I want his medical history out there for everyone to commiserate or speculate over. There's been enough of that at day care already.

    When I mentioned this to her she accused me of being ashamed of my son, that autism was nothing to hide and that she had a right to inform people. I feel like putting her on the coat for a while. She just doesn't appear to listen to me. At all.

    I don't get it. I just don't.


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    Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry she has done that. How super frustrating.

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    Mrs Tickle  (11-02-2015)

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi mrstickle. your mum is very annoying, why does she think she was the right to tell whoever she pleases about your child. it is nothing to do with the possible diagnosis but the matter is privacy. I would be very upset about that. hugs. marie.

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    Some people like to make a story/situation/illness/diagnosis about them.
    It's not about her. It's not her story to tell.
    Don't give her anymore info and when she asks, be blunt. "I'd prefer not to say anything further about this. It's no ones business but ours".

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    Unfortunately, GDahling, that's the stance we've had to adopt.
    It kills me to know whose she's told. People that just don't have any business knowing this about my child. But you can't reason with her. She just says I shouldn't be ashamed of him...turns it back onto me...Manipulation 101.

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    Tell her you're not ashamed of your son but your are ashamed of your blabbermouth mum. That might put a halt to her gallop. And I'd tell her too that as much as you love her and want to include her in things, if she can't respect your privacy then you won't be able to share private things with her. That's not on, blabbing your private business around. I'd be pretty annoyed too!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Tickle View Post
    Unfortunately, GDahling, that's the stance we've had to adopt.
    It kills me to know whose she's told. People that just don't have any business knowing this about my child. But you can't reason with her. She just says I shouldn't be ashamed of him...turns it back onto me...Manipulation 101.
    I'm so sorry you've had to do that xox
    She's saying you shouldn't be ashamed to deflect from the fact she's out of line.
    I had an experience in our family recently that reminded me of this. The person clearly did the wrong thing but tried to turn it back on me.
    I saw their true colours in that conversation and I'll be more careful of how close I get in future.

    You're absolutely right ! These people have no business knowing ANYTHING about your son.
    You're doing the right thing

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    Google Narcisstic Mothers. It's all about them. Your feelings don't count

    Perhaps don't share anything you don't want everyone to know with her.

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    Yes my Mum is like this. I don't tell her anything that I don't want my entire extended family, neighbours, shopkeepers, random strangers on the street, knowing.

    Hugs xx

    Eta: my mum also doesn't listen. Very frustrating.

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Tickle View Post
    *sigh*
    My mother appears to be on a role lately.

    Today, I discovered, much to my horror, that my mother has been telling all and sundry that my son is autistic.

    What we have is a preliminary diagnosis, on account of his very young age, which is due for review in September.

    Regardless, I don't want my son being labelled nor do I want his medical history out there for everyone to commiserate or speculate over. There's been enough of that at day care already.

    When I mentioned this to her she accused me of being ashamed of my son, that autism was nothing to hide and that she had a right to inform people. I feel like putting her on the coat for a while. She just doesn't appear to listen to me. At all.

    I don't get it. I just don't.

    im hearin ya OP

    Set healthy boundaries, and be clear to her that this stuff is definitely not ok with you. Hugs x


 

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