I would wait for DH to get home to be my back up (LOL I'm deluded thinking he would be we can dream!) and wait till the baby is crying and the pram is holding the door open and ask if she needed a hand - maybe not say anything directly about the baby in case it inflames a situation (only cause you don't know exactly what you are dealing with). It's a bit hard to know exactly what to do, you would know the situation better having seen it, I would try the offer though before reporting it.
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10-02-2015 17:21 #11
10-02-2015 17:30 #12
Maybe in the past being outdoors (looking at the sky etc) had soothed her bub and she's tried everything else so thinks being outside a bit might help console him? (or her?) I can't think of any other reason she would do that?? How odd. Does she rock the pram? It makes no sense, really; it's not like she's getting any peace and quiet by placing bubs halfway out the door.
Unless she's obviously abusing the baby or leaving it out for long periods of time, I wouldn't do anything.
Very strange, though.
Last edited by ~Marigold~; 10-02-2015 at 17:33.
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10-02-2015 17:38 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Is it hot ? Thinking that she maybe putting the baby in the doorway because it is cooler. Just throwing that out there ? Is there anyway you can walk past the unit, and sort of strike up a convo about the baby, and sort of ask that it was odd that the baby was in the doorway. Sort of joke, and say, lucky I am not a baby snatcher or something, seeing that he is so cute type thing ? and gauge the reaction from there ?
10-02-2015 17:46 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
I think people forget child protection can put in supports for parents when perhaps things are tough, services like child first and family services. So "dobbing" doesn't just end in children being snatched from parents arms. So reporting on a maybe is always better then not reporting and something worse happening
10-02-2015 17:53 #15
Hmmm, tough one. I understand why you wouldn't approach her, I wouldn't either. You just never know these days if someone is going to flip out...and you still have to live there.
If she's leaving the bub there crying for long periods, then I'd give DOCS a call just to ask for advice. They should be able to let you know whether or not they'll make a report out of it. Perhaps they'll just take details and then they can arrange a visit and some support.
If she's only leaving bub for short periods, then I'd just keep an eye out for any other concerning behaviour, but wouldn't report it.
10-02-2015 17:55 #16
How long is she leaving the baby to cry there for? I am not familiar enough with housing commission neighbours to understand your nervousness in approaching them, but i am trying to understand that it might be a rough area? In my situation, i would approach the neoghbour & chat in a friendly way about it, ask if they need any help etc, buy we are friendly with our neighbours already. My second baby was a nightmare with cmpi & severe reflux amongst other things. She would scream ALL.DAY.LONG. i would hold her while she screamed all day, until i literally wanted to kill myself. When it came to that, i would put her down somewhere to continue to scream - because she was screaming anyway.
Honestly, i dont know that reporting her would mean anything - i would think that they might take note of the family, but would be unlikely to investigate on the info you have provided here. Honestly, i think you should go and talk to her & see if she needs support.
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10-02-2015 18:47 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
To answer some questions-
Yes I agree it is very odd, I can't understand why she does it either!
I can't imagine it being too hot in there, it is a ground floor unit.
Baby is there for hours. Today seems to be the worst, though I have been home most of the day so I guess I've just noticed it more today. This morning baby was put there at about 730am. It screamed until I took the kids to school at 9am. When I got home at 1130ish, baby was inside but came out again at midday. Screamed until about 2pm, then fell quiet, but was still in the doorway. Has been seemingly asleep in the pram until just now at 6, when it started crying again on and off. The woman came to the pram afew times trying to quieten it (and no she does not rock the pram or anything). Now at 630pm, she took it inside. Yippee, I thought, it's going to have a feed. But it came back out no more then 5 minutes later. So I am a little worried now. I'm trying to keep an eye on it this evening to see if it goes inside long enough to possibly be fed.
As for talking to her- we are not in the same block, we do not walk past each other. I can see so much because she is ground floor, I am elevated ground floor. So I can see her directly from my balcony and my dining room window. My balcony has bamboo screening up, otherwise I had thought of leaning over and asking if everything's ok with bub. I can't go and knock on her door as it is secure with a pin code to get in the gate.
She doesn't look particularly rough. As I said, it isn't Housing Commission, it is an affordable rental scheme, where you have to be a single person, working, but earning under a certain amount (not sure where the baby fits into that!).
But yes it is run by an organisation, so if it keeps up maybe I could contact them?
The people there don't look rough, but my friend who is a social worker places lots of her clients in places like this, who are for eg mentally ill, or out of jail, or on drugs/coming off drugs. So that's why I am wary.
I'm just sick of hearing the poor thing cry. I wish I could go and pick it up.
10-02-2015 18:50 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
Oh no I don't know what I'd do but my heart would break listening to it cry!
10-02-2015 18:56 #19
I'd report that. Let docs know your concerns.
10-02-2015 19:12 #20
With that info, i would be worried the baby isnt being fed. I would ring the police & report it - DOCS are very slow to respond & may not respond at all, where as police can send a patrol around.
ETA: you can even report ir as a noise complaint issue to the police. Then if they go & check it out, they can assess the situation & see if the baby is in danger & seems neglected.
Last edited by cheeeeesecake; 10-02-2015 at 19:19.
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