I live in a unit block, and next door to me is another unit block. For the past week or so, the lady in the unit directly across from me, has had a baby in a pram... the baby sounds very new, so I'm not sure if it's the resident's newborn, or a visitor, or what.... but she sticks the baby in the pram, then sticks the pram in the front doorway, propping open her front door, and the baby just screams and screams and screams. She rarely consoles it, sometimes I can hear her calling out to it, or sometimes she comes over to the pram and says something to it, but not in a concerned tone of voice, it's the type of voice you say to toddler when it's being sulky, like a sarcastic "ooh what's the matter" type thing. She doesn't sound frustrated, upset, or even bothered at all that the baby is crying.
It is very echoey between our 2 buildings, and I can hear the baby's cries all through my house. It bothers me very very much, and it bothers my kids as well. Poor bub.
So I wonder should I be doing something?
If she sounded frustrated etc then I definitely would see if she needs any help. But she doesn't seem to care.
I am a bit reluctant to go and approach her as I have no idea who she is and what she is like, and if I did go then she would know I was from next door, and I don't really want to risk people knowing where I live if she didn't appreciate me approaching her. Plus, I know this might sound mean... but it is Affordable Housing, not Housing Commission, but Affordable Housing. So it makes me a little more reluctant as well.
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10-02-2015 15:09 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
10-02-2015 15:11 #2
personally i would report as a concerned person to child services. perhaps record it over a week?
10-02-2015 15:14 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Honestly if you ring the line to just run it by them it's won't hurt! If there's nothing wrong no action will be taken if there's issues there the more flagging they have the better
10-02-2015 15:23 #4
you know, I honestly dont know what I would do. I dont think I'd approach her and I dont think I'd contact child services. The one thing I might do is pop a nicely worded note in her letterbox asking if she could keep the baby indoors and not in the doorway. I'd probably lie though and say I was a shift worker and the crying was keeping me awake (that would be so she wouldnt know it was me). I'd be overly nice in the note though mentioning how I know babies cry and that its a difficult time blah blah blah.
10-02-2015 15:25 #5
Poor baby. And you too! I'd find that quite upsetting and would want to do something (but I'm not sure what exactly since I have absolutely no experience in this). I'd definitely call someone. We live in affordable housing/housing commission too so totally understand your reluctance in getting involved.
10-02-2015 15:37 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
10-02-2015 15:51 #7
What a super odd situation. Why on earth would she prop her door open with the pram and leave the baby in the doorway? So very very strange. I honeslty don't know what advice to give and think I would feel very similar to you, I have no idea what I'd do. I'd say I'd probably sit on my hands for a little while and if it kept going on I'd end up snapping and calling child services. It's just so weird? Following to see what happens.
10-02-2015 16:12 #8
How long is bub in the pram at a time, crying? It's a tough one. My DD would scream for hours on end as a newborn, I would have been horrified and terrified if DOCS came knocking because someone thought I was neglecting or abusing her. Having said that, I'd rather unnecessarily embarrass the parents rather than ignore a situation where a baby ends up getting hurt.
When DS was in hospital at 3 weeks old with a virus I met a mother whose 4mo daughter had died at home that day. Her 15mo son was in the bed next to us. Her and her partner were both quite rough-looking and would only come sit with him for short periods before going "out for a smoke". That night the police came into our hospital room and removed the parents. I was stuck in the middle of it breastfeeding my DS, it was awful. The hospital social worker came to talk to me afterwards and explained that the baby had died under "uncertain circumstances" so they had to remove the couple's other 2 children fro their care (they also had a 3yo at home). It was incredibly sad, I have no idea what the outcome was or if the parents were in any way responsible for the baby's death but stories like the OP make me wonder if that baby would still be alive is someone had reported any sus behaviour.
Sorry for the essay, that situation has really stuck with me and makes me so sad.
10-02-2015 16:27 #9
How long is she leaving the baby there for? Like short periods or hours on end?
I dunno, reporting it definitely wouldnt be my first port of call. Plenty of parents use methods like CIO or CC from young ages and although I personally am very against it for my children, I dont think its something I would consider reporting someone for?
Is there a landlord or body corporate you could contact about it being a noise issue? I am not sure how affordable housing works but surely there is someone you could call about it that doesnt involve child services?
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10-02-2015 17:04 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I'm not sure, but I'd like to think what I would do, is if I happened to catch sight of her, being so close in units, I'm guessing you'd cross paths sometimes, start a convo, polite, fri endly, talk about being mums having babies, and ask her how she's doing, mention that from the babies cry I'm guessing she's only xxx old?" See where that could lead to. She may talk about the crying, opening it up like that. And find out more info about the situation. ....or you could always drop a note in her letter box saying, "please please cuddle your baby, s/he needs you". Good luck must be heart breaking to hear
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