I didn't ask my landlord to look after DS, I didn't say 'hey, I'm running outside, can you listen for DS?' He did see me in the hall and I said 'I'm just moving our car quickly.' I know he wouldn't have gone up if DS was crying, unless it was going on for ages and he worried that maybe I hadn't come back. But he's very conscious of making sure he doesn't invade our privacy. Obviously if there was a fire or he heard unusual noises he would investigate or run up.
But the scenario of a woman locking her door and walking away to compose herself is the same thing, a woman doing that would probably have an eye on her house the whole time.
My point is, none of us are perfect. And aside from something like driving to the shops while your baby sleeps (which everyone in this thread has agreed was a huge no-no) most would have a reasonable explanation for a choice they made and everyone needs to put their judgey pants away.
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05-02-2015 03:37 #151
05-02-2015 05:02 #152-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- For the record I don't think standing in front of your next door neighbors house or anything while bub is sleeping inside is damaging to bub/neglect.
05-02-2015 05:26 #153
Leaving sleeping baby at home..alone?!
Tragedies happen constantly, even while you're home. Even while you're in the same room. I'm not saying let's all meet on the corner or down the street for a drink while our babies sleep, hop in our cars and drive to the shops. But let's friggin acknowledge that all parents do something another wouldn't, making their own risk assessment and thought out decisions. Yes there are stupid people or people where something didn't occur to them but most people are good parents and you are catching a glimpse into their lives.
What's the point in throwing out hypotheticals and fine tuning them when somebody says they've done something similar? I think we would all agree on the difference between a genuine accident or neglect when faced with it so I don't see the point in making everyone feel like shiz.
Eta: for the record this thread has made me think I won't run out to move the car again because what if his breathing monitor had gone off.
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 05-02-2015 at 05:35.
05-02-2015 10:05 #154
I know in your next post you say that you didn't ask him to keep an eye/ear out for your DS, but you DID tell him what you were doing and he knew your son was up there.
And the story I posted about the child who died while the mom was next door, I posted to show that things happen so fast. Not that she was neglectful.
Now, she did lock the front door, so yes I would class it as neglectful. And it was a continued pattern and led to her other children being removed from her care... but the story was just to highlight the issue.
And, yes, technically what you did (if you honestly believe your landlord would have done nothing for your son if necessary) is neglect. Doesn't mean I'd report you. I may consider it, if I had seen you do it and not seen anyone else keeping an eye on the child, yes.
Last edited by DT75; 05-02-2015 at 10:11.
05-02-2015 19:22 #155
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05-02-2015 19:49 #156Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
I can see this thread has sparked a lot of discussion. In no way was what my friend did okay. Children, most especially babies, are completely at their carer's mercy. To leave a child unattended, locked in a house, room, or car, IS extreme negligence!
As as update, I have spoken with my friend. She said it was a once off & it has never happened before. I told her how much it bothered & upset me, & that she can feel free to leave her baby with me any time I'm home if she needs to go out. We were both in tears as I listed some of the potential scenarios. So I think she realised how severe her mistake was by my emotion. I believe she has turned a corner & as a new parent perhaps the full weight of responsibility hadn't hit her yet. Not an excuse, but not everyone copes with the transition to parenting with ease. Plus I don't think these people realise they aren't coping. I am so glad I have said what I did, rather than leave it.
Best wishes to you all & I hope none of you run into someone else who may have done similar.
05-02-2015 19:54 #157
But neglect us a form of child abuse, which is WHY the terms are used interchangably. There are many different forms of child abuse, all ranging in severity. Just because neglect may not be as severe and obvious as sexual abuse, for example, doesnt change the fact that it is abuse.
05-02-2015 19:59 #158
05-02-2015 20:03 #159
05-02-2015 20:45 #160
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