Just wanted to add that you need to do whatever is best for your situation.
You might decide to take a bf class and give it a go - ask friends & family to give you some space while you sort out feeding initially and then see how it is.
You might decide that it's really not for you - which is FINE. Go take a look at the brands of formula out there and ask for recommendations on it and bottles etc.
You might even do both.
Happy mum, happy baby. x
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29-01-2015 19:51 #11
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29-01-2015 20:30 #12Senior Member
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- Jul 2013
I thought I'd give it a go but wasn't fussed either way. After a traumatic birth my bub ended up with multiple lacerations on his head and wouldn't even open his mouth to attempt it. We put it down to pain and tried again and again and again till he got jaundice and the staff advised me to formula feed 😃 in fact they wouldn't have let me go home if I was breastfeeding.....and it was public and my sixth night!
Anyway we ended up continuing with ff and it was the right thing for us. Next time I'll express colostrum but don't want to breastfeed. My care team were supportive whichever way I went- not one attempt by baby to open his mouth made it impossible!!
Anyway I would suggest the drug to suppress your milk as I was still running milk six weeks later and it was a hassle.
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29-01-2015 20:32 #13-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Whatever you want to do, do it, don't feel guilty and don't let others give you crap for it.
I am thinking though, with the reasons you have given (personal space etc), is there an underlying issue that you could benefit from counsellIng with... Before you have a kid?
The reason why I suggest this is that the reasons you gave for not wanting to breastfeed are very similar to the reasons my mother gave: "I didn't want anything touching my nipples." And with my mum it was a sign of things to come - for whatever reason she kept her distance and was unable to really connect with either myself or my sister. It's something that never really was resolved.
29-01-2015 20:59 #14
I chose to formula feed from the start. I remember in my private ante natal classes one mid wife kept referring to bottle feeding as artificial feeding and I could not get much info out of her. Once I was in hospital (private) and they asked me how I was wanting to feed and I told them formula feeding they were great. They respected and did not question my choice. I brought formula, bottles and sterilizer to the hospital and they gave me a tablet to stop my milk from coming in. They were more than helpful in showing me what to do and how to sterilise. Dont feel like you have to justify your choice or let anyone put you down for how you choose to feed your baby. My ds is 19 months old and is perfectly healthy and was formula feed from birth. Its such a personal choice and I think sometimes its other mothers who critise more. If anyone ever asked me why I did not breastfeed I would reply because Its not the right choice for me or my baby. Good luck.
Last edited by Sethysmum; 29-01-2015 at 21:04.
29-01-2015 21:12 #15
I agree with other PP. So long that you are secure with your choice the medical team will respect it.
Yes you might get b1tchy midwives but you'd get them too even if you were breastfeeding ;-)
I had the same reserves as you regarding personal space. I found breastfeeding a little disgusting to be honest.
However I was still interested to give it a go - just because I'm a curious person.
Well when I hold my yucky old looking newborn and he had his first feed, the hormones must have done their magic as I felt head over heels in love with him and never question BF.
It was just such an amazing moment, so relaxing. It's like when you meet the man of your dream and you can't take your eyes of him.
Anyway not trying to change your mind, just saying that be ready for a little person to rock you whole world!
30-01-2015 22:58 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
@hopeful1986 I have just had my first baby and was physically unable to breastfeed. I knew this from years ago and it never bothered me until I fell pregnant as I would have liked to have at least tried (if it hadn't worked fair enough). You might change your mind once pregnant but you might not. I was so scared I would be judged even though it wasn't possible but the hospital were fine with it. They told me to bring my own bottles and formula but also had it there. It was written in my notes and I was given the medication to stop my milk (it wasn't a supply issue, my ducts were cut so the milk couldn't come out). There was still one midwife who kept saying wait and see, you might be okay, and this upset me as I knew it wasn't possible. Even now I feel I need to justify myself to people for FF but that is my issue, I've not been directly criticized for it. My baby is happy and thriving. I've gone off topic a bit but I just wanted to say if you still feel this way once pregnant and again once your baby is in your arms then do what is right by you and your baby. As a PP said if there are any judgmental midwives you don't have to see them again! Make sure it's in your notes that you'll be FF so you don't have to keep explaining to people. Good luck when you decide to TTC and a smooth sailing 10 mths
30-01-2015 23:14 #17
Can I just also throw it out there that while I'm pro BF and think everyone should at least give it a go (unless there are medical issues etc why they can't), I still breathe a sigh of relief some days when I go to work and in handover am told one of my patients is formula feeding. In amongst all the BF issues, it is nice to have a baby who you don't have to worry about feeding!
NB: my views are my own personal views. I'm not trying to push my views on anyone or say you *should* try BF. It's your choice and your choice only
31-01-2015 05:39 #18
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31-01-2015 05:51 #19
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31-01-2015 06:04 #20
OP I was the same as you, I never felt any desire to bf, and thought I would feel weirded out by a baby sucking on my nipple :/ But once I was pregnant I actually started to think that I'd give it a try and see whether I still felt the same. When DS was born 4 weeks early we gave it a try and I found that I didn't mind it too much, it wasn't as weird as I thought it was going to be, it didn't feel like an invasion of my personal space (after having that little person living in your stomach for 10 months 'personal space' didn't seem like a thing anymore, lol). But DS wasn't strong enough to suck and the Drs actually ssuggested bottle feeding to help build his sucking reflex, and advised that I should give him formula as being prem he couldn't afford to lose weight while waiting for milk to come in. So I happily moved over to ff. I decided that i did want to give him colostrum though, so I just hand expressed that into syringes.
After a week I decided to let my milk dry up (took another week) and we all happily continued on our ff journey.
I think because I hadn't placed any pressure on myself to do one or the other it made it all a lot less stressful and I didn't feel any dissapointment or guilt when I couldn't bf and chose to move to ff-ing. But I'm kinda glad I gave it a go, and I'm glad DS got the colostrum. It's funny cause I never thought I'd change my mind on it, but I think I'll actually give bf-ing a go next time too. Bottles can be a PITA to make/clean, etc. Although I loved that DH could do some night feeds so I could get some rest!
Good luck with it all, remember that it's 100% your choice and if you get narky midwives, just stand your ground and know you're making the right decision for you
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