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  1. #111
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    He still awake & screaming.

    I feel so sorry for my ds, im such a terrible mother, he deserves so much better. Now he wont sleep & wont eat solids because of me, I wonder what other problems he is going to grow up with

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    He still awake & screaming.

    I feel so sorry for my ds, im such a terrible mother, he deserves so much better. Now he wont sleep & wont eat solids because of me, I wonder what other problems he is going to grow up with
    1. It's not because of you. It just is what it is.

    2. He will be absolutely fine when he is older. Some babies cry a lot- and that's ok.

    3. Guilting yourself in this manner does no one any favours.

    4. Let your dh handle it tonight. Tomorrow, get in contact with the professional an op pm'd to you.

    5. The absolute best thing a mother can be for their own child is healthy. And you m'dear are NOT healthy. Not today, anyway. But you can be.

    6. Do your parents or your dh's parents ever visit, offer to visit? Same with any of your siblings? You need help during the day until you are in a happier and healthier frame if mind. If anyone has ever offered to help you, take them up in it. Pride will only get you so far. Use your village if you have one!

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  4. #113
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    My parents & fil & siblings all visit on weekends but they all work full time during the week as do all my friends.

    I think he's finally screamed himself to sleep, thank god.

  5. #114
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    I would be more than happy to come up and give you a hand or take you wherever you need to go..My mum lives in brisbane so i can stay with her and come and see you... just let me know.. Im no expert but sometimes we all need a friendly face and support

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  7. #115
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    We are getting a nanny/mothers help, just interviewing some soon to find one that suits us

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  9. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    We are getting a nanny/mothers help, just interviewing some soon to find one that suits us
    I just want to say one thing about this. Other than it being good for you to have help and support, please remember (stick it on the fridge if you need to) - if bubs settles for a nanny/ mothers helper, it is not a reflection on you. It is a likely combination of them being less emotionally involved, thus calmer, them having some different experiences and techniques, and you smelling all milky which might be a distraction. Now say it 20 times a day : If someelses has more luck settling my baby I am still a good mother.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  11. #117
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    Default Sleep school update

    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    He still awake & screaming.

    I feel so sorry for my ds, im such a terrible mother, he deserves so much better. Now he wont sleep & wont eat solids because of me, I wonder what other problems he is going to grow up with
    Everything Nomsie said and then some. Babies just are what they are and everything that happens now isn't going to scar him for life. He will eat when he's ready. He's not going to be a 21 year old who will only eat yogurt because you couldn't get him to eat at 6 months. And he's not going to want to be sleeping cuddled up to you when he's 12.

    I try to constantly remind myself that :

    1) he's only little for so long, this to shall pass

    2) this to shall pass

    3) go with the flow because they are babies and constantly changing. Yes I still try to have some structure to my days and we have a pretty good routine but sometimes I just accept that he's not going to have a nap one day or that I need to lie with him.

    I make casseroles to spoon feed him with and finger food options. I let him squeeze and feed himself peas and carrots while I put bites in. Or I give him his own bowl with a tiny bit of food and a spoon and let him go nuts with making a mess while I feed him, or I just give him a plate of finger feed to do what he wants with. Sometimes he eats it all, sometimes some, and sometimes it just gets smooshed. He's not going to starve himself, he's actually a great eater and I think that's because I try not to make a big deal about it and I let him explore it all. I know when he doesn't eat much that he's still getting breastmilk and will be ok.

    I wish I would have gotten my anxiety under control from the very beginning because so much I worried about those first 6 months I wouldn't have blinked twice about now and my life would have been so much easier.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 28-01-2015 at 19:41.

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  13. #118
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    Where are you located op?

  14. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    I just want to say one thing about this. Other than it being good for you to have help and support, please remember (stick it on the fridge if you need to) - if bubs settles for a nanny/ mothers helper, it is not a reflection on you. It is a likely combination of them being less emotionally involved, thus calmer, them having some different experiences and techniques, and you smelling all milky which might be a distraction. Now say it 20 times a day : If someelses has more luck settling my baby I am still a good mother.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    So true! I was a nanny and doula for years before becoming a mom and everything was 100x easier than it is now because I wasn't emotionally involved (or sleep deprived). Seriously makes such a difference!

  15. #120
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    When I had to sort out my son's sleeping, I found it really hard to tell the difference between protest and upset crying. I used to call my mum and she would listen down the phone and reassure me that he sounded cranky and not upset to her. It made it so much easier on me to not feel like i was all on my own. Are you planning on getting the nanny to help you do the settling? I reckon that would be a great use of them. Don't let them just settle him every time x


 

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