Have you quit a good job to be a SAHM (for reasons other than financial?) How did you come to your decision? Do you regret leaving the workforce (short or long term)?
I am at a crossroads and I don't know which way to go. DH is fully supportive of any decision I make, but I'm finding this so hard. I absolutely love being a mum, and I really want to stay home longer with my little boy. I am in a privileged position where I can be a SAHM for a while, but I am scared as hell about making the final leap! I've defined myself by my study/career path for the past 8 years and it's really hard letting go of what I thought I wanted to do (having some time out has clarified I don't want this path any longer), and being happier by doing what I actually want to do...(this sounds ridiculous when written down.....).
Any advice welcome!
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16-01-2015 10:02 #1
Tough decisions - career/family/SAHM...
16-01-2015 10:22 #2
No advice but I feel the same. I have invested in my career and am in a good spot at the moment, but if I resigned it would be hard for me to get back to where I was. I am due to start again this year but would love to have more time with my little one.
16-01-2015 10:36 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Tough decisions - career/family/SAHM...
Are you on mat leave at the moment? If so can you extend it for a bit longer to maybe help you make the decision?
I am in the same boat and have decided to extend my leave from 12 months to 15 and see how I feel after that.
16-01-2015 11:50 #4
Ive been there OP. I had a good job 7 years ago, good as in it was stable, paid well, good boss etc. But i was thrilled to resign when i feel pg with our 2nd. I worked in the same field for 10 years but i never really liked it, job satisfaction was minimal and i often thought to myself 'what the he11 difference does this make' ). We could manage on dh's wage and had no grandparents etc to help with childcare, so it made sense for me to resign. Plus DH & I both preferred not to put the kids in care.
Fast forward 7 years and... it's been rough at times because life took a few twists we didn't factor in (i got pnd, the kids had allergies) but financially we managed. I don't regret resigning for a second though, there's every chance i would have reached the point of walking out on my "career" anyway because i just wasnt suited to it. It's been so good to be able to stay at home with the kids, the salary I've missed out on doesn't even factor in thankfully (some savings and a nice holiday would be nice though lol)
Now I'm at the point of re-entering the workforce my old skills are outdated but I'm quite happy to retrain. In March I start a nursing degree which I'm really excited about, it's a great opportunity for me to go into a career which will have actual rewards other than money!
You say you don't want this path any longer. That says a lot don't you think? If you did resign would you think about further study in a couple of years time when the kids are older, or other ways of sending your career on a path you are interested in? It can be daunting just resigning "forever" so maybe have a think about time lines and what you will do once the kids reach school age.
Good luck, it's a big decision!
Last edited by Gothel; 16-01-2015 at 11:56.
16-01-2015 12:56 #5
I hear you! The only reason im going back is to qualify for PPL for baby #2. After that ill be going back for 4 weeks (my job pays me 4 weeks worth of Maternity Leave just for returning to work after 4 weeks) then ill be resigning.
If you are happiest at home then you have your answer
16-01-2015 14:01 #6
Thanks for the responses. I'm doing a phd, so it's not "work" in the sense of having a job, but I just don't think I want to be an academic, I never really wanted to so I'm not sure why I'm even doing it! Powers of persuasion from others I think. I'd prefer to work for a decent wage, or be a SAHM for a while and have our family (or mix it up and work part time) than bust my *** for no reason. But it's really really hard to walk away from and I just can't seem to give myself permission to quit. All my knowledge, work contacts etc are tied up in it and I think is feel a bit lost iykwim.
I'm on mat leave but I can't extend it any further than my original date.
I wouldn't go back and do more study so I need to use the skills I have. I've done enough study for one lifetime!!
Last edited by Pearlygirl; 16-01-2015 at 14:05.
16-01-2015 14:11 #7
How much more time wouldyou have to invest before you would complete your phd?
16-01-2015 14:19 #8
Full time approx. 18 months, but I couldn't do it full time, so part time 2.5 - 3 years probably. Which also means putting off ttc #2 for 3 years, which I'm not keen on for a few reasons.
It's so hard. I wish I never started in the first place and just worked like my original plan. I knew a phd wasn't right for me within the first year but I kept getting talked back into it over and over.
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16-01-2015 17:29 #9
Can you put the phd on official hold? I don't know how it works or if you can even do that but imagine it's on hold, and you could choose to go back to it in say 3 years, what then?
16-01-2015 20:14 #10
I wish I could Gothel, but you can only intermit for a year total, and I'm using almost all of that for mat leave. It's really getting me down. I don't have to make any decisions yet, but it's on my mind constantly.
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