Im in need of some advice as to what grandparents visitation rights are.
To cut a long story short my mil is a narscissitic personality.
Her and fil have never thought much of me but we have stayed civil over the past 8 years.
Dh also has nothing to do with his brother due to his sil being vile to me since we got together.
Even after years of emotional heartache i stuck out the relationship with inlaws for my dh. Now, mil cannot stand that we stand our ground and wont allow bil and sil to treat us the way they do. She has constantly tried to manipulate the situation and taken sides to suit her and fil.
I have a dd 2 yrs old and a 8 wk old ds. Dh has made it perfectly clear that ,il is to butt out and not speak about bil to our dd, she is our child and when the time comes we will be dealing with it.
They dont have much to do with dd unless we really need a hand and ask them to help us out. But a couple of months ago mil admits to me that she tells my dd about bil and his kids. This woman is wrong on so many levels but i let it go.
Christmas day comes and we agree to go to our first family christmas and stay civil with bil and his family as we would never cause a scene. If anything they would as they have no shame in hurting anyone publicly or not.
As soon as i get there mil plays doting grandma and takes my dd off me and says "im going to introduce dd to the kids" I grabbed her back and said "no, we will do it in our own time thanks"... for the rest of the day i was ignored, copped death stares etc. i told dh but we agreed to stay and ignore mil.
On boxing day dh msgs mil tellin her to please stop trying to push the situation and stop telling our dd things.
Well we didnt hear from mil til a couple of days ago, dh called her after receiving a msg from his brother saying his whole family is disgusted in him and their deceased brother would be rolling in his grave seeing how my dh turned out! If anyone knew my dh they would know he is the most quiet, caring, placid soul. He asked what the msg is about and why his family is disgusted in him. He said he's had enough of all this drama.
Mil screamed at him that she has gotten legal advice and she has lots of money so be prepared for them to take us to court.
So if this makes sense, she got legal advice before we had actually heard from her and now shes saying be prepared for a fight.
So what are our chances we can say we dont want these people in dd life and win at court. Im so heartbroken. I cant sleep and my poor dh is stressed like ive never seen. We cant afford to even go to court but if we have a chance of winning we will sell up and do what we have to do to stop these people brainwashing our daughter.
I have since spoken to inlaws asking why they are doing this to us and why they hate me so much. They have been slandering me to other family members and these family members are contacting dh on social media slandering me.
Ive contacted legal aid who tell me grandparents do have rights to see grandkids and we dont have rights apparantly to stop that! Im gobsmacked. not to mention scared as mil said to me im an unfit mother as i battled pnd with dd and shes taking it further.
If anyone knows me on here you will see i went through years of infertility only to conceive dd and ds through ivf. They are my everything. Im so scared of what they are doing to us
Hope this makes sense. Thank u for reading
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15-01-2015 08:23 #1
Any succesfully stopped grandaparents Visitation rights?Warning long story!
15-01-2015 08:29 #2
I have no advice but here is a big virtual hug for you . What horrible pieces of work your DHs parents are!
I hope there's nothing they can do legally - it's disgusting what they are doing to your family.
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15-01-2015 08:36 #3
Bigs hugs hun xxx but sounds wrong to me that grandparents have legal visitation rights and parents can't do anythig about it? I've never heard that so I could just be naive. I would see a private solicitor that specialises in family law to get an expert opinion
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15-01-2015 08:45 #4
If I were you I would stay away from all of them cease all contact on your behalf and keep any correspondence that you have from people in regards to this. .
Yes Grandparents do have rights but is she truly willing to go through a lengthy battle with you ....
She doesn't have a leg to stand on in regards to you having PND. ..at all she is clutching at straws....
She sounds like a very bored and spiteful old lady who will be very lonley one day ....
Don't stress just document everything and keep everything as evidenced to her pitiful behavior. ...
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15-01-2015 08:47 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
Do you really think they will apply for court orders to spend time with your children, or are they just threatening you? On what basis would they ask the court to do this? Below is some information on the relevant legislation:
The Family Law Act 1975 is the law that applies in most of Australia to separation and divorce, division of property and who children live and spend time with when their parents separate, whether or not their parents were married. Slightly different laws apply in Western Australia.
Grandparents can use the Family Law Act to apply to court for orders that their grandchildren live with or spend time with them. You can do this whether the parents of the children are together or separated.
The Family Law Act acknowledges the importance of children having a relationship with their grandparents. Grandparents are specifically mentioned in the Family Law Act as being able to apply to a court for orders to do with their grandchildren. However it is important to be aware that this does not mean that grandparents (or indeed parents) have an automatic right to have contact with the children.
The Family Law Act makes it clear that the ‘best interests of the child’ are the main considerations when it comes to decisions about parenting. The focus of the Family Law Act is on the rights of children to know and be cared for by both parents and other people significant to their care, welfare and development, such as grandparents and other relatives.
15-01-2015 08:49 #6
I'm not a lawyer but my understanding is they only have a leg to stand on if they had a close ongoing relationship with your kids then you took it away. Sounds like your kids hardly know your in laws.
15-01-2015 08:51 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Gold Coast
Any succesfully stopped grandaparents Visitation rights?Warning long story!
Yes grandparents have rights. But that doesn't mean that visitation will automatically granted. There are a few things to be taken into consideration.
"Grandparents do have rights to make an application for time with grandchildren, under the Family Law Act. However if they want to spend time with grandchildren, but that is not agreed by the parents of the children, grandparents could invite the children's parents to meet with a child psychologist or to participate in mediation before making an application to the Family Court of Australia.
The Family Law Act allows the Court to make orders for the time a child is to spend with other people other than that child's parents, and this category of people includes grandparents. In fact grandparents are specifically referred to in the legislation as people who may apply for orders to spend time with children or to have children live with them.
The principles which the court applies in deciding whether to order that time be spent with a grandparent are the same principles that apply to any other person. The main principle is that any court order must have regard to the best interests of the child or children concerned. If children are at an age to express a view, that view may be taken into account by the court. In reality, if there is conflict and a lack of agreement between the parents of the child/children and grandparents, a court will have to consider the effect of any orders on the relationship between the parents and grandparents, which may in turn affect the children. In reality, where a grandparent is keen to spend time with children but that is not appreciated or agreed to by the child's parents, the court is likely to order limited time with the grandparents.
In these cases, the court will also take into account the time that the grandparents have spent with the children to date, their relationship with the children and practicality of time being spent. If there is failure to agree, or if a dispute exists between the parents of the children and the grandparents, the court will not adjudicate that dispute, and may err on the side of the children's parents in limiting the extent and nature of contact between the grandparents and the children. It would be my suggestion that family therapy, mediation or some process that allowed the parties to understand each other's perspective be attempted, on the basis that it is likely to produce real agreement. The Family Relationship Centres, Catholic Care, Jewish Care, LifeWorks, Relationships Australia all provide low cost family mediation services. In the Court system, there is a risk of considerable costs and sadness for grandparents who are unsuccessful in obtaining the kind of court orders they seek, and there is a risk that already fragile relationships between the parents of the children and the grandparents will be completely fractured.
Any particular case requires legal advice about the chances of success in litigation, and for there to be a discussion about alternative means of the grandparents seeing their grandchildren."
Last edited by Lauzy; 15-01-2015 at 08:57.
15-01-2015 08:52 #8
What a horrible situation to be in. I agree to just cease all contact, block them on Facebook etc, don't answer their messages and phone calls.
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15-01-2015 09:00 #9
I would think if they're slandering you then they'd happily do it to your dd, and that wouldn't be in her best interests.
I may have read wrong, but by the sounds you're still allowing contact with the grandparents so that might be good enough in the courts eyes. Maybe check with your solicitor if they're getting contact (eg while you and dh are visiting) is that enough that they won't be entitled to regular 'access'.
Good luck, it's sounds messy
15-01-2015 09:02 #10
Thank you to those who've provided info, legal aid sent me the same family law act.
They will definitely take it further, money is no issue and they are bitter people. They just want to hurt us. I told them if they go ahead with this they are not only going to hurt my dd they will lose their son, its irreparable. They truely are horrible, I could see this all along but dh had to wait for then to show their true colors.
We have started documenting everything and writing down why it wouldnt be beneficial to have them in dd or ds life. I also told them that im doing this and I have yrs worth of abuse on sim cards. (I dont have all of it) but I told them if this is the way it's going to be we will be defending our family.
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